(Closed) Is it a big deal if I don't go to FSIL's wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Guests
Post # 61
2164 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

I think you should just grit your teeth and go. You will look like a weirdo if you don’t. I am sure Fiance wants you to be there with him.

These are your future inlaws. You don’t have to love it, just go and live through it, and it will be over.

Post # 62
481 posts
Helper bee

Unless you are estranged, go.  If you don’t have a stellar reason not to go then why not go?  I don’t get it.

Post # 63
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I live in Atlanta, and an hour drive to any metro Atlanta suburb is par for the course, so I don’t think an hour drive is a big deal AT ALL. Also, you mentioned that your Future Sister-In-Law and your FIL’s treat you well, so regardłess of how you feel about weddings, not going shouldn’t have even crossed your mind. I’m glad you decided to go, but I honestly think the fact that you even toyed with the idea of NOT going requires a bit of soul searching. Life is not just about you.

Post # 64
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Hunting Hill Mansion

View original reply
starfish0116 :  perfect answer. I want to skip out on family events all the time but we are talking block parties, not weddings. Even if I didn’t want to go to a wedding, this is about respect, not “preferences.”

Post # 65
8674 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

Unless you can figure out how to fall ill on the day of.. You should go. You can leave early, but not going at all will cause some hurt feelings (probably by more than just the bride).  This is close family: sometimes it’s about them more than you.  This is one of those times.   It sucks, but that’s life.. My mother in law gets upset over the smallest things so I just.. Appease her.  Because having her happy is worth more to me than doing exactly what I want at every moment.

Post # 66
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Yep, you should go. I’d be pretty heartbroken if Future Sister-In-Law or Future Brother-In-Law said they just didn’t like weddings and so they weren’t coming to mine. It’s half a day, max, you can sit through it.

Post # 67
1069 posts
Bumble bee

Yes you should go. It’s about family and sometimes you have to put family first. Are you going to miss every other big event like christening a and funerals because they’re ‘not your thing’?

Personally im with you on massive pre wedding events etc and would probably just send a card/gift (the Bee tells me that’s customary in the US. Pre wedding presents aren’t done here). 

Post # 68
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

I think it would be a big deal if you don’t go. You are sending a very loud and clear message that you only do what you want and his family isn’t important. I would be offended if my fiancee didn’t want to come to my sister’s wedding. Life isn’t only about doing what you’re into there are sacrifices that you needs to do.

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