- Water Melon
- 2 weeks ago
- Wedding: February 2012
Ok Bees, posting this from my anon account. I’m just a little worried about a friend and am looking for some advice/stories/anything.
This will be long, just warning everyone. Things just seem a little sketchy and don’t add up quite right and I want to see what other people think! Maybe I’m just paranoid/overly cautious.
I have a friend who met a man while on vacation in another state. They were both on vacation and happened to meet and exchange numbers very quickly. They didn’t spend any time together or get to know each other at all. He reached out to her after that.
They are both middle aged. He’s a few years younger but no huge age difference. She’s a widow with grown children and he supposedly was married back home but is now divorced and no kids. He is from a European country but in the US on a work visa. He has been in the US for somewhere around a couple years and works contract jobs where he travels all over.
So, they started talking probably 3ish months ago. Things got serious quick and they facetime daily. Phone calls all the time. He is very into her and his sister back in his home country wants to meet her. They’ve all talked on the phone before.
He had a contract job in an Asian country that was only supposed to be 3 or so weeks. So they made plans for her to fly to his state to visit him a week or so after he was supposed to return. Something went wrong with their job and he got stuck in Asia for 3 or 4 more weeks and she had to cancel her flight. So now he was supposed to return to the US last week. So they made plans to meet this week.
Last minute, the day of his supposed flight home, he needed emergency surgery in Asia. She got a call saying he was about to go into surgery and then the “doctor” took the phone from him and talked to my friend for a minute. He said “it’s time for surgery now, we’re taking him back.” This was almost a week ago. When he was coherent, he said they’d be keeping him in the hospital until Saturday and he’d be cleared to fly home then.
Saturday came and they said he actually had to stay in the hospital until his stitches are removed. That is supposed to happen tomorrow. So, supposedly, he will be discharged tomorrow and has a flight scheduled for Thursday. My friend hsd to reschedule her flight because she was supposed to fly to his state on Monday. Now she’s supposed to fly there on Friday.
During all of this hospital business, he has had to pay cash for everything since he’s in a different country where they don’t take his insurance. First it was 5k. Then they needed another 2k. Now, they need 1k more before he leaves. Supposedly, he’s waiting for his sister to send him that money tomorrow. Apparently he has some type of European account and it’s difficult to send money to Asia. I don’t know. My friend hasn’t mentioned him asking her for money, but it seems like maybe he could be testing her by reducing the amount every few days and hopint that she’ll transfer him some money if she really wants him to make it home?
I told her to get the name of the hospital and call the hospital. She got the name but didn’t call. She says she has seen the hospital room on FaceTime and it’s not fake. He has a bandage on from surgery, whatever. She also got his address back home, where he supposedly lives in the US in an expensive state. He lives in a nice apartment from what she has seen on FaceTime. The address he sent is for a hostel. They have a couple of private rooms but not matching the description of his “apartment.”
She also said he is wearing normal clothes in the hospital bed. No gown. But, of course, I don’t know what Asian hospitals are like.
She seems a little skeptical but wants to believe he’ll be home so she can go spend time with him and see if they actually hit it off. I haven’t pushed too much with my suspicions because, I guess maybe it could all be true? They talk all the time and facetime all the time, so it’s not like he’s some random guy she met on a dating site and she’s only seen pictures. They video chat daily.
One more detail…he deleted his social media shortly after they started talking. Supposedly because he “saw it as a dating site and he doesn’t need that any more.”
Since he’s not a US citizen and she might not know his legal last name, it’s hard to try to look him up.
So, could it be a citizenship thing? Money scam? Or could this be real and I’m just crazy?? I just want her to be safe and am a little worried about this trip, if nothing else comes up last minute and she has to cancel her flight, again. Since he’s recovering from surgery now, she’s supposed to Uber from the airport straight to his place to meet him. She does have a hotel, but he was pushy about wanting her to stay with him.
Help!! TLDR: my friend met a guy in real life but the online/phone relationship seems sketchy and I want to know if this sounds normal to anyone else.
Thanks! I might be forgetting some details. I have heard so much over the past few months.