(Closed) is it a no no

posted 6 years ago in Money
  • poll: is it okay to help pay
    yes : (65 votes)
    63 %
    no : (33 votes)
    32 %
    other and explain : (6 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    A shower is typically thrown for you.  I think you shouldn’t have to host it yourself.

    FWIW, when I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I’ve ALWAYS helped contribute to the shower – not just the Maid/Matron of Honor throwing it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    14495 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Maybe you could draft an email to the other bm’s for her and ask for help paying for the party, and then maybe you can pitch in if necessary.  No, you shouldn’t have to help, but it is nice of you to do so that way they are not as burdened. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1735 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Maybe your mom and the BM’s would help her out with the cost.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1523 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    She needs to talk to the other girls. I have been in umpteen weddings at times in my life when I was living pay check to pay check and we always pulled something nice off for the bride. No way should you be paying!

    Post # 8
    Member
    48 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    I agree that the cost could be shared by the bridal party.

    I know everything has a cost but I don’t think a shower needs to be an expensive, extravagant party. A potluck could work – some tea sandwiches, sweets, punch, sangria etc…

    Post # 10
    Member
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @asianyoushi:  if she doesn’t want to ask them for money, then she will end up footing the bill.  I’d let her do it and just stay quiet.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1844 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I don’t think it is a terrible no no for you to help cover some costs, it is your party afterall. But she should confront the other Bridesmaid or Best Man about it first. I am with @AirForceWife78: even in college as a completely broke bridesmaid I have been asked to contribute, it might not be much but it can always help. It also might be good to let her know that you do not expect her to go all out on the shower if she is planning something too large or more expensive than necessary.

    Post # 13
    Member
    41 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    For the bridal shower, see if she could delegate tasks to each of the bridesmaids. And if your fiance’s family wants to help, they could. I don’t think you should pay for that. Maybe have each person bring a dish and/or buy something. That way it’s spread out. It’s not just your Maid/Matron of Honor who has to do everything. Hope that helps =]

    Post # 14
    Member
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Is it wrong to offer to help?  No, of course not.  Traditionally the bridal party helps but there are always exceptions.  I’d just tell her that it needn’t be anything fancy. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    48 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    @asianyoushi:  Maybe we do showers a little differently up here. What other than the food has a cost?

    My friend’s shower was hosted at her mother’s home and we had some food, played some games, socialized and watched her open her gifts. Other than a few small prizes, there didn’t seem to be much cost associated with it.

    The topic ‘is it a no no’ is closed to new replies.

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