(Closed) Is it absolutely necessary to have a maid of honor?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Is it necessary to have a MOH?



  • Post # 3
    47439 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @DesertLady:  No, it is not necessary to have a Maid/Matron of Honor. In many jurisdictions however, you are required to have two witneses sign the official record, so at some point you may have to single out someone. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a member of the wedding party, although generally it is.

    Check the law where you live.

    Post # 4
    4192 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    I had two matrons of honor for the same reason, I didn’t want to have to choose. Someone’s going to holding your bouquet during the wedding, and you may need one to witness something (one signed my church’s confirmation of the wedding), but otherwise, they can all have the same “level” of responsibility.

    Post # 5
    6737 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    For a little while, Fiance and I considered not doing a BM/MOH. For the Maid/Matron of Honor duties, I was just going to have my girls split the duties. There really isn’t much to do for the Maid/Matron of Honor anyway – I’m not having a bridal shower and my bachelorette is going to be at the resort at my Destination Wedding so I’m essentially planning it myself. Those are the two traditional Maid/Matron of Honor roles, so my Maid/Matron of Honor really is just helping me with planning decisions. But, even if I were going to have those two events, I would epect the other BMs to help the Maid/Matron of Honor out – so if I didn’t have a Maid/Matron of Honor, I would just delegate the duties out to the girls (I probably would have sent an email out asking them to split amongst themselves the duties).

    Post # 6
    7638 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    No – in fact I didn’t. I just called both my girls bridesmaids. I didn’t like the extra level of “hierarchy” of setting one girl above the other(s). Even if one girl gets extra prominence or responsibilities (e.g. I had the same girl stand closest to me, hold my bouquet, sign the register), there’s no need to give her a different title.

    Post # 7
    13653 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    It’s only necessary to have a bride and a groom, an officiant, and in some cases witnesses.  Of course you don’t need to distinguish by title.  You can divide up the requests, for example, one Bridesmaid or Best Man holds your bouquet, another straightens your train or holds the ring etc.  

    Post # 10
    546 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Nope! I did because she was helping more with wedding stuff but really they were are all the same level of closeness to me so I completely understand not wanting to pick one as “higher” than the others. Just have bridesmaids.

    Post # 11
    8482 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I’m not having a Maid/Matron of Honor. I only have two BMs and they’ve both been there for me for a long time, so I think they would both be offended if I chose one over the other.

    Post # 12
    185 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - North NJ

    When the time comes, I do not plan to have any BMs or Groomsmen at all. If I end up having some, I will not have a Maid/Matron of Honor. I don’t believe the hierarchy can truly occur without hurting someone’s feelings (unless you only have one sister and choose her, because most friends understand family comes first).

    Post # 13
    295 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I’m not having a Maid/Matron of Honor. I recently had a major falling out with my 2 bridesmaids, so now they are not attending my wedding. I chose my 2 next closest friends as bridesmaids and I can’t pick between them, so we are having our brother and sister as our witnesses.

    Just to add: I’m not a bridezilla, the falling out was over the fact that neither of them ever contact me, I was always chasing them up, and they were extremely upset about the fact that I wouldn’t pay for their accommodation (both are interstate).

    Post # 14
    4114 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I didn’t have a Maid/Matron of Honor. I also had 3 BMs. One stood next to me and held my bouquet. One signed the marriage license (in the UK this is part of the ceremony). And the third made the speech.

    It worked very well and all were fine with the division of duties (I did ask their opinions; I didn’t just assign them).

    Post # 15
    2346 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I had no bridal party whatsoever. No moh, no maids, no bm, no men. No ring bearer, no flower girl, no ushers, no nothing. Everything went perfectly and I had zero drama.

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