(Closed) Is it all required?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Your wedding, your day– go for it!

Post # 4
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hello and welcome to weddingbee. Um first your wedding date has passed. Is that a typo?

You can ditch the wedding band if you want.

Unity candle can be replaced with something else if you want. Do keep in mind if you nix it, the ceremony maybe very short.

Ring bearer/flower girl can be nixed if you didn’t ask anyone’s kids to fill these roles.

Assigned seating is for the birds…maybe just assign tables.

Post morning brunch…idk I think you can play that by ear. Personally, I would prefer to have the next morning to be just me in my hubby.

Post # 5
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think it is perfectly fine to omit anything you don’t want at your wedding.

– Ring bearer/flower girl – nice for pictures, but not really necessary. We are not having a flower girl.

– Unity candle thingy – nice for pictures, but not really necessary. We will be doing the Unity Candle Ceremony because I want the pictures and I think it is a beautiful ceremony.

– Assigned seating – this one would be beneficial, so your guests don’t get cofused. A way around this is to have assigned tables, so you guests have direction. We are doing assigned tables. Doing assigned tables will keep the tables even and also set the older people with the older people and the younger people with the younger people.

– Wedding band for my Engagement Ring (I don’t really need or want one) – nice, but you can use your engagement ring for the ring exchange. We are doing a wedding band because we want separate rings to show our lifetime comitment to each other.

– Post morning brunch (it is an out-of-town wedding – nice, but really not necessary. We are not doing this. We think people will want to sleep in and do there own thing the day after and we will too.

Post # 7
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

 it’s ur day do what u want there are some things that we will eliminate as a couple and here they are:

no bridal shower

no engagement paty

no bachelor/bachelorette paty

we agreed as a couple these things are not necessary and will only make people dish out money some don’t have, other family members agree that it’s the wedding and reception thats important and they support our decision.

Post # 8
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yes your list is perfectly fine to omit.  You can do (or not do) whatever you want! 

Post # 9
1254 posts
Bumble bee

It is your wedding and you get to call the shots. Nothing is required for your wedding, well except the groom and someone to marry you.

Post # 10
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I agree, it’s your wedding, you can omit whatever you like

Flower Girl/ Ring Bearer: In mine we’re having two flower girls and no ring bearers, one from my side, one from his. I went to a wedding a couple weeks ago where they didn’t have either one, and it worked just fine! They make a good “awwww” factor in the wedding, but aren’t neccessary.

Unity Candle: I am doing one, but I found a really nice one for about $7 at Hobby Lobby during one of their sales. You could also do a sand ceremony, where you pour 2 colors of sand into one center bigger one to signify the same. I have also seen people do like floating candles in the same kind of vases, then they put flowers inside under the candles, which looked really nice too. So there’s a lot of other options than just a unity candle, but I agree with @edisonsgirl, the ceremony might be rather short if this is omitted.

Assigned seating: I’m not going to do assigned seating, I think it will just be one more hassle to decide where everyone will sit and who they will be with. So I am just going to set “reserved tables” for my parents and grandparents, his parents and grandparents, our ushers and personal attendants as they are still part of the party.

Wedding band: You don’t have to have a wedding band to go with your engagement ring. It is special to have a ring signifying your marriage, but you could also wait and get a first anniversary ring instead.

Anyway.. Hope some of this helps 🙂

Also, I’ve heard that you don’t always have to worry about all the little details, as people won’t notice every little thing. They’ll remember spending the day with you and your families and the bigger things, so don’t sweat the small stuff… it’s your day, not theirs 🙂

Post # 11
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Its your day do what ever you want! The only thing on your list we are doing is wedding bands

Post # 12
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

none of those are ‘required’.. all that’s really required are a bride, groom, someone to marry them, and a witness.

Everything else is just icing on the cake!

Post # 13
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think you need any of those things.  Its your wedding, it should be unique to you.  If you don’t feel you want those elements, they shouldn’t be there!  I don’t think anyone is going to balk at the fact that those things didn’t happen.  And you’re saving money in the process so that’s a bonus!

Post # 14
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Anything that isn’t important to you or your Fiance isn’t REQUIRED.

I think it is sometimes worth doing things that are VERY important to your families, even if you aren’t excited about them.

I also think it is worthwhile doing things that will significantly increase your guests enjoyment of the event, even if you aren’t excited about them.

So, to that end:  If you don’t have any nieces/nephews who are going to be really disappointed that they don’t get to be flower girls/ring bearers, then don’t have one.

If the unity cancle isn’t an important thing in your family, don’t worry about it.

A wedding band is completely uneeeded (I won’t have one either).

However, you might really consider assigned tables.  A little planning on your part about who to sit where might really result in people having more fun at your party, and what’s the point of spending all this money if people aren’t going to have fun.  Without assigned tables, it can be awkaard for people (especially single people and large families) to find a table to sit at, and you run the risk of people sitting together who just aren’t going to enjoy each other’s company…Throwing a good party entails helping your guests meet and mingle with people, and assigned tables is one of the easiest ways to do this.

Good luck with planning and YAY MARCH BRIDES!

Post # 15
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

We didn’t have a flower girl/ring bearer or do the unity candle (which I had never heard of until I started reading wedding blogs, don’t think they’re really that common.) The wedding band is your personal preference and the morning-after brunch is totally something that is completely extra and a lot of people don’t do it, so you’re more than fine omitting all these things!

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