(Closed) Is it all worth it? (VENT)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2634 posts
Sugar bee

I’m sorry that you are so frustrated.   We’re not spending nearly as much as you, but yeah, it all adds up.  (((hugs)))

Post # 4
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think you sound pretty normal to me.  I think a lot of us have had those thoughts.  I’ll be honest, at around 3 months before my wedding, I wondered what the hell we were doing.  I genuinely had a freak out where I thought we were insane for spending so much money.  Most of it wasn’t even ours, I felt guilty!  In the end everything worked out, I’m glad we had that experience but I’d never do it again!  Eloping solves the money problem, but you don’t get to experience the rest with your family and friends.  I think that’s what you have to keep telling yourself to survive!

Post # 6
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

It’s worth it!!! I promise…I think we’ve all had these moments but honestly, there is nothing like the feeling on your wedding day, with all your family and friends there to support you and getting to kick back and enjoy an awesome party after you marry the man you love…You’ll get through it and it will definitely be worth it all in the end!

Post # 7
15 posts
  • Wedding: September 2010

You are not alone! It’s absolutely amazing that adding the word “wedding” to anything sky rockets the price! I’d advise taking a minute to look at your expense and re-evaluating what’s most important. See if there is anything that you can do without. It’s so easy to get caught up in the wedding hype that you end up spending money on things that no one will even notice. And always remember that at the end of the day, it’s about you and your fiancé – not impressing everyone that will be in attendance. Your day will be perfect because it’s the day that you marry your soul mate, not because of your centerpieces. Good luck!

Post # 8
1011 posts
Bumble bee

When I had my moment about spending so much, my now-husband asked me point blank if in 10, 15, 20, or 30 years ago I would regret my decision or if I would look fondly back at my wedding.

Post # 9
1765 posts
Buzzing bee


Are you having a lot of people?  That sounds like a high amount for what you are doing.  Do you have your “ideal place”? Have you already put down deposits? 

Post # 10
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My FW and I have had a long engagement, and it looks like you are having one as well.  When we got engaged, we made a list of each month between engagement and wedding, and planned expenses for each month.  There are lots of things you can spread out into payments, and you have lots of time.  I’m a teacher, and thus am poor as hell, but by working together and really planning (we haven’t eated at a restaurant in 6 months!) we have been able to purchase the wedding junk we wanted, with a few compromises. 

Many good wishes to you, and happy planning!  It will be okay!

Post # 11
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Let it out! Sometimes it’s good to vent! I too get sooo frustrated about how much everyhting cost!

Post # 13
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I know exactly how you feel…. in fact I have been questioning almost every decision made thus far. We have already spent A LOT of money and are 6 months away. I sometimes think maybe we should have just done a destination wedding with immediate family and 2-4 VERY CLOSE friends. With the amount of money we’re spending we could have flown people out and paid for accomodations. But then I think of how exciting and wonderful the day will be with many longtime friends and extended family and think it will all be worth it. Right now, there are some “extras” I’m holding off one since our venue & caterer alone is over $16K already. Not to mention everything else… So, I’m trying to make wise decisions and not worry about too many “small” details no one will notice.

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