(Closed) Is it bad etiquette for a sibling to plan a wedding in the same year?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t think it’s breaking etiquette.  Since there are a few months between the weddings, hopefully things won’t overlap too much.  Do you have a lot of guests from out of town?

Post # 4
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My sister’s wedding was 6 weeks after mine.  She had the same concern as you, and she even asked me.  I told her it didn’t matter!  You can always ask her if you’re really worried.

Post # 5
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Most of the trouble that stems from planning siblings’ wedding close together has to do with money. Two and a half months is plenty of time for potential guests to recoup and be ready for your wedding after your FSIL’s. Plus, if your Future Mother-In-Law is okay with whatever she’s contributing towards your wedding, then you have nothing to worry about :). 

Post # 6
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

No, not bad etiquette. Its only considered a no-no if it puts strain on the parents, and since your Future Mother-In-Law sounds fine with it, I think you’re good to go. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Nope, I think 6 weeks+ is good… Though I have known many to do them even closer than that.

If you’re worried about making her feel like you’re stealing her thunder, just plan some days to focus on her wedding! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Nope – the only potential concern would be money for your FI’s family (as your Future Sister-In-Law gets one day for her wedding – not a month or a year), but since your Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t seem worries about the finances, you’re in good shape!

Post # 9
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My sister is getting married in October 2011, and I am getting married June 3, 2011. I had been engaged about a year and already set a date when she got engaged. She was really worried about offending me (she is like the sweetest person ever), and has called me at every step to make sure I don’t mind about her plans for a bachelorette, shower, engagement party, etc. She has made a huge effort to keep all of our events really separate. I have super appreciated it, and it has been REALLY nice to have a planning buddy who is just as interested in talking about center pieces and guest lists for hours on end as I am.

I think as long as there is a respectable distance (maybe 2 mo.?) between the weddings, and everyone is careful to let the other shine when its their time, there is no problem!

Post # 10
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I was really jealous for a little while because we told his mom last summer that we were thinking about getting married this summer. Then we were sure, and in November we picked July 3. 

 

Then his little bro proposed after us, and they are getting married THIS weekend. It hurt when I found that out, especially because the VERY FIRST THING Future Mother-In-Law said to me when she heard about our wedding was that she accidentally told his little brother’s girlfriend because she couldn’t keep a secret from EVERYONE and so suddenly she was “chomping at the bit.”

They have been dating 4 years as of the wedding date, I think. We have been dating 2 years as of the wedding date. BUT she is 7 years younger than me.

 

Gosh, from this post it sounds like I’m still jealous. But, I’m finally OK about it. And his mom, she has both her sons’ weddings this year (and her daughter’s college graduation–that’s 3 life events for all her 3 children!) She is actually thrilled.

 

So, it IS totally ok. Just make sure you discuss it. Or, well, don’t — I never had the chance to talk to the soon-to-be newly weds about it. Hm. I guess my advice sucks.

 

But, etiquette-wise, you’re all good.

Post # 11
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

My brother and nephew-to-be proposed to their girlfriends only a month or two after my Fiance proposed to me. I’ve been dating my Fiance for 5 years now (4 years when she proposed). My brother and nephew had been dating theirs for around a year. We waited a year because we weren’t ready, but also my brother ended up marrying last year. My nephew is getting married in Sept of this year, the month that we wanted, but we didn’t pick the date early enough. We decided on Oct, less than a month from my nephew’s date.

Anyway, I guess why I’m posting all this is because you can’t wait. You’ll be waiting forever. Weddings happen all the time. As other bees have posted in many other threads, the bride gets one day. Two months is PLENTY of time, and if your parents assisting monetarily for both in one year isn’t a problem, there should be no problem etiquette-wise.

The other bride may have a few negative feelings (I’ve gone through some weird feelings not wanting to step on future neice-in-law’s toes and feeling like I’ve waited so long, it’s my year or something [totally not rational]), but she shouldn’t hold a grudge or be impolite. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think it’s really for the Future Mother-In-Law to say it is ok. She is not the other person getting married. Speak to the bride.

Post # 12
Member
8595 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

This thread is 4 years old…

Post # 13
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

ok never mind 

The topic ‘Is it bad etiquette for a sibling to plan a wedding in the same year?’ is closed to new replies.

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