Is it bad etiquette to cancel the post-wedding brunch?

posted 9 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Yeah, it definitely does sound like a definite plan.  Will you be attending the brunch, not would you be interested in attending a brunch – it sounds like a planned event.  Sorry.

A picnic does sound like a good idea though – can you manage it for 25-30?  The easiest way I can think would be to go more breakfast than brunch and get a few boxes of various pastries (muffins, scones, donuts, bagels), some disposable butter and jam packets, some bottles of juice and water and maybe some premade costco or supermarket platters of fruit and cheese that you can keep in the B&B fridge the night before.  That still sounds like a hassle while wedding planning, but it also sounds doable, and people will enjoy it.  You’d need a rain plan though.

I still think a restaurant is the easiest way, and maybe one in the area has an affordable brunch package?

Post # 18
Member
12091 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

A destination wedding is a breach of etiquette in and of itself in most cases, but if you are asking every guest to travel, and have already invited them to a brunch, then short of an emergency, there’s really no polite way to back out. 

It would be awful to ask people to pay for themselves. 

Post # 19
Member
2410 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you can keep the costs down. 

You can get trays of muffins and croissants from Costco or a similar warehouse store. Maybe some donuts or bagels.  Lots of coffee and donut places will sell coffee and tea in huge to-go containers (1 gallon, I think?).  Fruit is easy, maybe some lox or a cheese/salami plate or something for protein?  You can buy pretty decent frozen quiches, just pop ’em in the oven.  

Post # 20
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think you have to host, even if you worded as who is “interested” in brunch. It sounds like an invite no matter how you slice it. And forget no host breakfast if your guests travelled to be at the wedding. Is there a room you can use at your hotel and just provide muffins and juice? It doesn’t have to be fancy

Post # 21
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

It really doesn’t require much effort. People come at all times through the afternoon. Get your parents to host it. Get some meat for the bbq, make some easy salad, get some bread rolls and left over wedding cake. Then lots of beer and wine. Easy 🥂. The next day brunch is so much fun. 

Post # 22
Member
514 posts
Busy bee

Could your mum, aunties, etc. Take control of the brunch for you or at least play a role? My mum organised mine and I think that is quite common. Although it is obviously not as easy if they can’t have it at their home/hometown. But maybe you have a family member/relative who would enjoy helping you with this event.

Post # 23
Member
514 posts
Busy bee

missviolet92 :  Yes! 😊 Are you Australian? This is a typical Aussie way to catchup the day after the wedding.

Post # 24
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee

Yeah – based on that update I would hold it.  That is definite sounding.  And I think your OP stated that most people live two hours away – that’s still day trip distance in my book.  I have lots of family who live 2-2.5 hours away and I’ve gone up for events for just the day and driven back that night, so there is definitely a chance that some made overnight plans on the basis of there being another event in the morning.

If it will be warm enough at the park by 10am and you have a contingency plan in case of rain, then I think that’s fine.  I wouldn’t risk it outdoors at a park if you don’t have a covered shelter just in case though.

As for being too casual – Beggars can’t be choosers when it comes to a free meal.  As long as you have sufficient food and drink (juice, coffee, milk, etc.), it will be fine and it’s the day after, not your actual wedding reception.  Having a casual free meal is definitely better than fending for themselves.  If people think it’s not sufficient they are free to go find themselves a restaurant and pay for their breakfast.  But you can definitely do a lot if you utilize Costco or other grocery stores in the area.  Lots of grocery store delis have brunch catering options as well.

Post # 26
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Ps it’s pretty ambitious having it start at 10am. We had ours from midday. People stumbled in until the early evening 🤣🤷‍♀️. Some friends include my maid of honour were a bit hung over 😂

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