Post # 1
So my boyfriend and I have been together for over two years, and we have discussed marriage many times before and we are both on the same page. He has been mentioning proposals more frequently so I know it is coming. However, I have always had some opinions regarding the location for the proposal, and I share these thoughts with my boyfriend when he asks. I really want it to be in a unique location in a different state. I have lived in the same state my entire life, and I would like to begin forming memories that aren’t tied to a same towns over and over again. My boyfriend asked me what I thought about our state’s capital as a location, and it’s overly touristy – I feel like it would just cause a scene and wouldn’t be romantic.
[Side note: my bf and I are taking a quick trip with some family members in a couple of weekends to Miami. He revealed to me that he had planned to propose then but that things didn’t line up. I can’t help but be a bit sad about this because I’m not sure when we’ll get another chance to be in a cool place.]
My boyfriend’s brother is proposing soon to his long term girlfriend, and he is planning something lavish in a foreign country. I hate comparing myself to others, but I’m quite jealous of his plan, and I just feel like this would very much make my proposal feel second best in comparison. I wish my boyfriend could pull something like that off for me, but 1) we are in our last year of university and can’t afford to be globe trotters and 2) my very strict parents are weird about me travelling alone with my boyfriend since we aren’t married.
Am I being high maintenance here? I obviously know that it’s more about the sentimentality of the proposal more so than where it happens, but I just have a certain idea of how I would like it to be.
Post # 2
I’d say you’re teetering on being high maintenance. It’s one thing to request a public or private proposal but being so specific that you want it out of state or some over the top location is a bit much. You’ll have an entire wedding to plan. Let him have this one.
Post # 3
Yes, you are being high maintenance.
The location should be the last thing that matters. You are about to embark on the journey of marriage with this man & this is what you are focusing on?
Let him propose where he wants and enjoy the moment regardless. Fairytales are just that.
Post # 5
If you are going to be so picky then you should propose to him, otherwise I think you really need to let it go. Not to be harsh but your post sounds really shallow.
Post # 6
“Am I being high maintenance here?”
Yes. If you have such a detailed image of how it should be done, then you ought to be the one proposing. That said, if you are openly discussing the logistics of a proposal then essentially you have already agreed to be married. By any traditional definition you are already engaged.
Post # 7
Yes, this is over the top.
You can focus on having an awesome bachelorette or even wedding in another state if you want. I agree with above responses that giving a guideline about public vs private proposals is pretty much as far as you can go with instructions. Leave it up to him. If he was thinking of doing it in Miami anyways then it seeems like he is trying to be creative, which is great. Honestly, my best friend’s boyfriend proposed in a parking lot and it’s the cutest story I ever heard. He had a big plan and just could NOT WAIT out of the parking lot and did it there. I think the spontaneity of that story is cuter than any of these grand proposals in Europe, etc where it’s been overly planned. Personal taste I guess.
Post # 8
Echoing high maintenance.
Also, trust me… Miami isn’t THAT cool. If you must be out of your state, then talk to him in advance about planning a romantic weekend getaway. It would only take a few hours to drive out of your state, and then you could both get what you want out of the weekend if you plan it in advance.
I got proposed to on a dock at sunset, over a man-made lake, in misty rain, with a dead car battery. Trust me, the location doesn’t matter as much as you’d think. I’d recommend letting your boyfriend decide and come up with a proposal that will surprise you.
Post # 9
Yes you are being high maintenance. I agree with hikingbride : If you’re going to be this picky you should be the one proposing. Don’t micromanage your own proposal. Wherever it happens it will be special.
One of my best friends got engaged in Paris right in front of the Eiffel Tower. A couple months later my husband proposed to me in a park, just the two of us, sitting on a bench swing. It was wonderful and I wouldn’t change it for the world! The place doesn’t matter. What matters is the decision to spend the rest of your lives together.
Post # 10
ChasingZenith : The driving a few hours for a romantic getaway is what I have in mind. I feel like my post maybe makes it seem like I’m expecting to fly across the US to get proposed to. Thats not the case, but I would like it to be in a different place than in the area that I have spent my entire life in 😛
Post # 11
Yes, you are being high maintenance.
Post # 12
Yes, you’re being too picky and high maintenance about this. Let it happen wherever he plans and enjoy the moment and the words you share with each other, not what your preconceived notions of how it “should” be, or comparing it to other couples’ proposal locations.
Post # 13
justpeachy505 : Yup, this is high maintenance territory. Personally I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to be proposed to someplace you’ll get to see again. My husband proposed on the front porch of our house – I get to stop and relive the moment any time I choose and it’s lovely.
Post # 14
Not only does he have to buy you a ring and pledge the rest of his life to you but homeboy also has to arrange an out of state trip to do so?
Girl. Let me link you to some proposal stories we’ve had posted here and then maybe you’ll be fine with the state capital as long as he has pants and underwear on.
Post # 15
Bee….no, just no. Your proposal is not going to be “second best” even if it happens at home while watching Netflix. I’m sorry to be blunt, but this is a really really immature mindset that you have. Please get your priorities straight! The proposal is about you and your partner making a lifelong commitment to one another – that’s it. It’s not a competition to see whose proposal happens in the most exotic location with the most over-the-top props.