Is it bad for me to be picky about the location of my proposal?

posted 1 year ago in Proposals
Post # 31
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

Some of the sweetest and most romantic proposal stories I have heard about have taken place in the individual’s living room. It’s not all about the location. You’re being too high maintenance, it’s one thing to request public versus private, but this is too much. 

I promise you, if you sit back and just enjoy the moment you’ll have a great memory to hold onto.

Post # 32
Member
4039 posts
Honey bee

picklerick :  Or sweaty proposals when the couple had just finished running 6 miles together

Post # 33
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Since your being quite specific about where and how he does it, I think you should be the one to propose to him. That way it goes exactly how you want it. 

If that doesn’t sound good, then chill out and stop with the high maintenance demands. You’re getting engaged to the supposed love of your life, and that should trump any location he picks for the proposal. I suggest you stop comparing relationships to the brother as well because you’re gonna have one hell of a time “not comparing” (but totally comparing) who’s wedding will be better. 

Good luck bee!

Post # 34
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

socalgirl1689 :  Agreed! Proposals that are reflective of their typical relationship are super cute!

Post # 35
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

It’s one thing to be like “hey don’t propose to me on the jumbotron at a baseball game because I’d hate that shit,” but you’re being too controlling about it trying to dictate that it be in another state. Proposals don’t have to be some perfectly manicured Instagram spectacular to be special. 

Post # 36
Member
9391 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Congrats on being the bridezilla before even being engaged.

Post # 37
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I have been engaged twice. The first time, I was in my mid-20s, and my fi took me on a surprise long weekend in a European city we’d never visited before and proposed there. In many ways it was the dream proposal; he had the ring, he got down on one knee, it was a beautiful city. I didn’t ask for a foreign proposal, he planned it all by himself. The fact that he’d put effort in to it was more important to me than what he actually did.

It’s funny, but when he was down on one knee (which was how I’d ALWAYS imagined a proposal should be), I felt kind of embarrassed. I didn’t like him being lower than me and so I crouched down next to him so we could be at the same level! It’s something I clearly remember. It was a lesson to me that a lot of things I thought were important and dreamed about when I was younger, don’t really matter at all. Or it turns out that it’s just not my style after all.

Now I’m in my late 30s. My second proposal was at home. We had no ring, because he hadn’t planned it. He wanted to marry me so much he couldn’t wait to ask. That was what really mattered.

A friend-of-a-friend’s boyfriend took her on holiday to Venice and proposed to her there. She said yes, but then told my friend privately that she was really disappointed in her proposal because Venice is ‘so unoriginal’. I felt really sorry for the poor guy who’d tried his best to propose in a special way. Don’t let that be you.

I don’t think that there is anything wrong with your wish to make your proposal special by having it somewhere you haven’t been before, and telling him your desire. Lots of people get engaged whilst on holiday and are super happy, post it on social media and everyone is happy for them. I don’t think one way of getting engaged is better than another. But I wouldn’t personally be more specific than that, and enjoy it whenever/wherever it happens. Let it be something that reflects you as a couple and not simply staged for Instagram.

Post # 38
Member
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

way too high maintenance… take it down a notch or you will be a huge bridezilla and as we all know that leads to ruined friendships and strained relationships.. 

A proposal can be insanely romantic and sweet.. my husband propsoed to me on lake (we live in toronto) in our special private spot with a violinists..roses and champagne.. it was increidbly romantic and a 10min drive from our house and cost him under $200… 

also i highly suggest you stop comparing everything in your life to others or you will be unhappy for years to come.

Post # 39
Member
453 posts
Helper bee

slomotion :  maybe you’ll be fine with the state capital as long as he has pants and underwear on. 

Actually, being clothed during proposal isn’t a requirement for a happy lasting marriage.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Signed,

Got Engaged While Buck Naked and Lived to Tell the Tale

Post # 40
Member
549 posts
Busy bee

Whether it’s the top of the Eiffel tower or your kitchen, at breakfast… Your getting engaged! I think plenty of posters have told you that you are being high maintenance, I will refrain. But, think about the importance of this, the meaning of a proposal and it truly doesn’t matter. Additionally, you better stop comparing yourself to your in-laws. If they are getting engaged, now, it’s likely a lot of things will be happening at the same time wedding wise.  Just remember this is your relationship and event and not theirs, and vice versa. It’s a different family, a different love, a different life… Don’t compare! Comparisons will only make you unhappy. 

Post # 42
Member
85 posts
Worker bee

I have never really understood this thing about discussing engagement so much so that you decide how and where you are proposing /being proposed to but somehow do not consider yourself already engaged…๐Ÿค”

However I totally get having a fantasy about a proposal, I just think it is not anything to get caught up in, the “how” is really just a small part of it all. I really recommend relaxing a bit, romantic picnic at your favorite place sounds great, big proposals doesn’t say anything about the relationship (which off course you know I get that, like I said-it is easy to get caught in the details ๐Ÿ˜˜ ),it will still be a great memory I promise you.

Post # 43
Member
899 posts
Busy bee

I think the concept of couples discussing ad nauseum the logistics of the proposal before it even happens is so weird! To me all this talking just destroys the mystery and surprise of the actual event. I had no idea when my fiancée was going to propose and I even turned down the idea of going ring shopping several times because I wanted to be completely surprised. In the end he proposed the same day he picked up the ring, because he couldn’t wait any longer. I don’t think he really put much planning into it, haha

 

i think you could hint that you want a proposal in a unique location. Like you could remark on the brothers proposal in Europe and say how you think that’s a great idea. Just something like that might left him know about the type of proposal you’re hoping for. 

Post # 44
Member
1185 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Yes, you’re being super high maintenance. You have your whole life to create memories with your soon to be fiancé. Let him have this moment. And be content in the fact that you’re getting married – why are you so worried about how someone else is proposing?? 

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