Is it bad for me to be picky about the location of my proposal?

posted 2 years ago in Proposals
Post # 46
Member
91 posts
Worker bee

I would also have to agree that you are being high maintenance.  The proposal his him.  If you know that a proposal is coming I do believe you can put in a tad input but that is it.  For example, I got wind that my SO is planning on popping the question. I just asked that he doesn’t make it really public (like a hockey game that he has season tickets too).  And I asked if it is at all possible if he can get someone to take pictures or video of the proposal.  Now that you have already told him what you would like in a proposal it is now time for you to let it go and see what he decides to do.

Post # 47
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

justpeachy505 :  You don’t want a proposal, you want an Instagram post.  If you’re being honest with yourself, your  “making memories in new places” requirement isn’t because you actually want to do that, you just think a local proposal with pictures and a story from some place people recognize won’t look as great.  It won’t seem like he’d made enough “effort” or “loves you enough” and you won’t be “special enough.”  We’ve come to think that location + dollars spent = amount of worth the woman has to the man, and how “in love” they are.

In a decade of social media, I’ve watched a lot of couples post their perfect engagement photos (complete with hired photographer), perfect weddings…and then get a perfect divorce.  If you had a “no social media/no photos/no cellphone” rule for the week leading up to, the day of, and the entire month after your proposal – would you care as much where he did it?

The absolute most important thing to consider when marrying someone is how you feel about that person, not who is impressed by the photos or the story the two of you can create. Or who makes a better photo set on social media and gets more likes.

You are setting yourself up for a very unhappy life if you can’t break this mindset.

Post # 48
Member
9852 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

hampsterdance :  You people can’t keep telling me this and not providing details!!

(really what I wanted to say in my original post was at least he didn’t tie it to his dick with toilet paper but someone the other day said it was mean of us to keep bringing that up so I was trying to be more tactful 😂)

Post # 49
Member
9174 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

yes.

my proposal was in my home city and it was magical. i had to solve clues in poems to go to various important locations while dating. the final location was where we had our first date. i wouldnt change it.

 

start saving for an exotic honeymoon

Post # 51
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

I mean, if he was going to propose somewhere inappropriate, that might be one thing to be picky about. For example, my fiance thought it would be funny to propose to me at Alcatraz while wandering around the old jail cells. He told his mom this idea before he proposed to me, and she told him, that was not an appropriate place to propose, so he dropped that idea pretty quickly (thank goodness!). He ended up proposing at the Golden Gate Bridge lookout, and it was perfect.

But, what you’re saying, you are being way too high maintenance with it. I think his State Capitol idea sounds lovely, most Capitol buildings are beautiful. To be honest, whether he does it at home or somewhere out of state, at the moment he does it, I don’t think you will care about the location anymore.

Post # 52
Member
1393 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Ideal proposals aren’t always perfect, a filmed beach one on the rocks comes to mind and while he’s down on his knee a huge waves crashes over them lol 

My own beach proposal took place at night and it was windy and I smelled like pickle juice and sweat. (After working a pickle festival all day) Super ideal proposal right? Beach-check, pickle juice/sweat perfume-check! Stained clothing from said pickle juice-check. All in all it was magical and we were so happy to be engaged. Manage your maintenance girl and reset your expectations 

Post # 53
Member
751 posts
Busy bee

You pay to book a few days out of state or whatever place you want it to be and IF HE CHOOSES to propose to you on that trip then Voila! You have your fairytale story and IG post. Otherwise, back off and let him do his thing. 

 

Post # 54
Member
4510 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

To be fair, if he proposes in your home state, it’ll make it a more exciting location for you than it sounds like it currently is.

I actually had a lovely proposal, but it didn’t require a trip. (We also had a photographer entirely by accident.) I think on a vacation, I’d already be having so much fun without a proposal; by proposing locally on a random day, we made a memory entirely it’s own, separate from any trip or holiday.

Post # 55
Member
10702 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

justpeachy505 :  

There are a lot of Bees here who would be deliriously happy with a proposal at a car wash.

 

Post # 56
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

slomotion :  For f-s sake how did I miss this thread?? Which one is it?!?!?!

Post # 57
Member
10702 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

slomotion :  

Mean?  To whom?

Tactful?  A tap dance around reality.

We should be telling the ring-dick story as often as possible, if not for entertainment, as a cautionary tale.

Post # 58
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee

elliesbee :  I’m really curious too but I think it was deleted soon after it was posted. 

Post # 59
Member
10702 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

elliesbee :  

I think it was deleted.  

The Cliff Notes version:  he proposed by trying the ring around his penis with toilet paper and she did not dump him immediately.

It should have been turned into a sticky for all of the entitled brides-to-be whining about their sub par proposals.

Post # 60
Member
1974 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Too high maintenance. All I said is I want it to be somewhere that means something to both of us. I don’t want people around & I don’t want you to do it at home.

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