(Closed) Is it bad form to ask to do my own hair?

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 18
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t think it is rude, Ask her if she wants anything in the hair, and practice. If she wants flowers or something it’s good to practice with it now so you can make it great the day of. But really I think if she is going to be that specific she should pay for it. I think the spay tan is overboard and if she had a tanning party where everyone was sprayed the night before or something it could save money for the group.

Post # 19
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

She’s asking way too much. If she really wanted those things I think she should at least offer to pay for them.  As for up-do maybe talk to her and tell her you cant really afford it and what she had in mind for an up do. If you need ideas for doing your own up do check youtube.  They have lots of tutorials for hair/make up.

Post # 20
2803 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Could you at least ask her to pay the difference? As in pay you pay the $30 you are used to and she pays the rest? 

I definitely think she is asking a bit much. Personally I’d rather have my hair done than have a fake tan (But I hate fake tan, I like my pale porcelain sink). But I say practice and see if you can do it yourself. As long as you mix in with everyone else it souldn’t be a problem. 

Just be upfront and honest. Say that you really want to help her achieve her vision of the day but that you are finding it difficult finically to keep up. So could you please do your hair yourself?

Post # 21
2631 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I never thought it was a big deal when my BM’s wanted to do their own. It costs a lot to be in a wedding. I think she’ll understand.

Post # 22
44 posts
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would never be offended if one of my bride maids wanted to do there own hair, especially if I wasn’t paying for it to be done.  As long you practice I’m sure it will look pretty.  Also, I am so pale and would think it was nuts if one of my friends asked me to get a tan for her wedding!  Tan people look fantastic and I love their pretty skin, But pale is also beatiful!

Post # 23
2597 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I don’t think it’s bad form at all.

Post # 24
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think when you agree to be a bridesmaid you agree to pay for three things: Dress, shoes and hair. Anything above and beyond that the bride should offer to pay for. The jewerly I’m really surprised about… if the bride wants everyone to have the same jewerly then the bride should give it to everyone as their wedding party presents.

Anyway, I don’t think you should in any way have to pay for jewelry or the tan. BUT if you are agreeing to do this its perfectly reasonable to say NO to paying for the hairstyle and doing it yourself.

Tell her she has to choose what things she wants the most from you because you don’t have an unless supply of money to dump into HER wedding. And if she wants everything then she has to pay for the extras.

Post # 25
4460 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@BlueRidgeMere: If she wants you hair done a certain way then she should be paying for it.

Post # 26
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

 I wouldn’t try doing it yourself. I’m a stylist and I’m STILL working at doing great up-dos. You can tell when someone did it themselves. That being said. Its VERY rude of her to want you pay for your own hair a particular salon. Call around to the salons in her area and ask what their prices are. Find one that YOU can affored. Believe me, just because she lives in a city doesn’t mean you can’t find a good, cheaper place to do an up-do. Go to a place like Master Cuts or Regis. The chain salons are usually alot cheaper because they will hire girls just out of beauty school. Don’t be afraid though! ALOT of new stylists are very good! Since they are fresh out of school they know what they are doing.

 Spray tan and jewelry?!? Ummm thats rude. She doesn’t have a prefrence on jewelry right? Like no 14 ct gold stuff, must have diamonds…etc. I would just go to Claires and find a cute necklace and earings and tell her the tan is just a no go.

 Good Luck!

Post # 27
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

She’s insisting on a spray tan, but isn’t paying for it?  Seriously?  Man, she’s lucky you’re being so accomodating because I think that request is way out of line.  You’re a bridesmaid, not her personal barbie doll.  And no, I don’t think its at all bad form to tell her you’d prefer to do your own hair.  If you’re really not a pro, buy a cute wide decorative barette, pull your hair back, twist it up, and clip the barrette into place.  Voila, updo!

Post # 28
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would draw the line at the spray tan, come on!!!  Thats pretty insulting I think.

I would tell her you simply can’t afford it… if she really wants you to have your hair done profesionally that badly, she will offer to pay.

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