(Closed) is it bad luck to ring shop WITHOUT your bf?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: is it bad luck to ring shop WITHOUT your boyfriend? (talked about engagement in 1 yr already)
    yes, bad luck, don't ring shop without your man : (5 votes)
    8 %
    no, you can shop all you want, just don't bring it home : (30 votes)
    48 %
    doesn't matter, don't think there is any sort of superstition around that : (27 votes)
    44 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9952 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Ok, I am pretty superstitious when it comes to this stuff… so I’ll tell you what I did.

    BEFORE any proposal, Mr TTR and I discussed our Life Plans / Time Line.  He knew where I stood on this whole subject… wanted to be engaged and hopefully married before the end of 2012.

    I told him this about a year ago now… around the time of our 6th Anniversary of Dating.

    I also told him as I had been married before, that it was important to me that my E-Ring not be anything like my previous one… and that my Ex-H and I had shopped together, and I liked that… because not all rings suit all fingers.  He’d never heard of that… he only knew it as the guy picks out and buys the ring… and then surprises the girl with it.

    I told him that made me nervous… because I would have to wear it 24/7×365 and I had better like it (and I reiterated, that I have short stubby fingers and so not all things suit me)

    Of course this was long before I joined WBee… so I didn’t know anything about Proposals without Rings, Stand-In Rings, or Gals who use Pinterest to drop hints (pick favourites)

    He said, okey-dokey… Proposal before end of 2012… maybe even a Wedding.  And we’d pick out a ring together.

    So around Christmas I started doing some serious browsing… the Holiday Flyers that came with the Newspaper, window shopping on the street… looking in the display cases at the Jewellery stores in the Mall… a bit of website surfing.  Never tried anything on (superstitious for sure… I didn’t want to do that before he either Proposed or said we should go shopping together for the ring), but I did get a feel for what was out there, and what I might like and what most certainly I didn’t like.

    Then he left me hanging for 5 months… thru our Anniversary – our Chirstmas Vacation – Christmas Eve – Christmas Day – New Years Eve – New Years Day – our Winter Getaway Vacation – Valentines Day and My Birthday.  Even thru Ground Hog Day, St Patricks Day, and April Fools.  I had pretty much given up… when we headed off for our Easter Vacation.

    So he totally caught me off-guard when I got my “Non-Proposal” then… No Ring, No Bended Knee… just “Hey we should get married here he next time we are in town”

    With my Non-Proposal, I was off… Next Day to the Mall for a serious look see.  And I tried on rings ON MY RIGHT HAND… lol, because I’m superstitious

    Once we were back home after vacation, we went out together to look… and it took us 6 weeks to find THE RING

    All the while, I was trying them on my Right Hand… that was until I was pretty sure I had narrowed it down to 2 I was most certainly IN LOVE with.  And with Hubby-2-B right beside me, I said “It is most certainly one of these 2″… so he said, “well then, which one”… and at that point I tried each on my left hand ring finger.  And made my choice

    He negotiated the deal… and we had purchased an Engagement Ring.  Two weeks later the Jewellery Store called to say the setting was in, the ring had been sized, and the feature diamond we chose, in place.  And so we made a date to go pick up the ring.

    Hubby slipped it on my ring finger… gave me a kiss.  And as of that moment, I considered us OFFICIALLY ENGAGED

    Now I realize that not every girl is as superstitious as I am when it comes to “Wedding Karma”… but I’m an Encore Bride… and well lets just say I don’t want to mess with anything that could jinx what I have this time round (I had enough horrible luck / stuff happen in my first marriage)

    Hope this helps,

    PS… If your fingers are the same or close in size between your two ring fingers, you can most certainly get a feel for / idea of how something will look on your WEDDING FINGER.

    PPS… I am similarly superstitious about Wedding Rings as well.  For example I would NEVER try anyone else’s on my own Wedding Finger (if I was to try them on at all).  We haven’t bought my W-Band yet, but I imagine the scenario will be quite similar to the one I went thru for my E-Ring

    EDIT TO ADD…

    AND it never hurts to window shop for jewellery… or learn all you can about Diamonds.  An educated consumer is a better consumer, and you won’t get “sucked in” by some of the stuff the clerks tell you (not all 100% factual / honest) or distracted by all that glitter.  You have to remember that in most cases the Salesperson is on a commission… so they really really want you to buy from them.  They’ll tug at your heart strings… with stories of Sales, Limited Time, Exclusive, Last One… etc OR they’ll have an Agenda (Commission Bonus) for getting you to buy a particular name-brand etc that particular Day / Week / Month.

    I never regretted my taking the time to learn as much as I could about Diamonds & Fine Jewellery (Blue Nile has an excellent Education Section) because there were certainly people who didn’t tell me the full story… or tried to pull one over on me (especially in regards to the 4Cs).  And lots of folks who I discovered down-played the 5th & 6th Cs… Certification and Conflict-Free Diamonds.  Or pooh-poohed any concerns for the 7th C… COST.  Many actually offering financing deals (again another way that they make commission).

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    2523 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I personally would not do it.

    The biggest reason being it may not set well with your Boyfriend or Best Friend, and the second, shopping together with your SO is a special time. It’s a great bonding experience. Don’t rob yourself of that because you are impatient. If you are wanting information about the different colors and cuts of diamonds, look online.

    If a significant amount of time lapses and he still hasn’t asked, then casually bring it up, but I wouldn’t go alone. But that’s just me.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1131 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I don’t think it’s bad luck, but I do think it would be awkward

    Post # 6
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    My friend and I stopped in a place and looked at rings. We both tried some on, got ideas of what we liked and didn’t like. This was back in July. It wasn’t the first time we went for her, but it was the first for me. We had originally gone in February for her, her boyfriend had the ring by the end of March and proposed a couple weeks after we had gone shopping for “both of us” (I’m a good friend, I wouldn’t tell her there’s a need to stop looking). Last week, SO bought my ring.

    Moral of the story? Absolutely nothing bad came of either of our shopping trips.

    Post # 7
    Member
    8041 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @sunrisepassion:  I haven’t heard that it’s bad luck.

    I’ve done this before. It’s amazing how you’ll have one idea in mind of what you want, and then you’ll be completely underwhelmed when you try it on. It’s happened to me. It’s a good idea to see what looks good and what shape/size rock you want.

    If you came home with the ring obviously that’s bad… but just looking is fine. In fact, anything you can do to make the process easier for the dude is good in my mind!

    ETA: I think lots of women do this… I have never had a salesperson look at me weird or anything. My guy hates shopping so doing this helps him out. We’ve gone to look together a few times, but I’ve gone more often on my own. I think that doing this is way better than being stuck w. a surprise ring that you hate.

    Post # 8
    Member
    178 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I don’t think it is bad luck, none of the sales people will take you serious though.

    If you are doing it behind his back it most likely isn’t a good idea because of the secrecy and hiding, but if he is okay with it, I don’t think it would be an issue.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3420 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

    I havent read the comments. I am just putting in my two cents.

    It isn’t bad luck. Just pop into any store, when it isn’t busy and ask to be educated. You would like to know what YOU like.

    Then write specs and aborb what you learned.

    He may be interested. He may not. My SO is not for going ring shopping with me, as he wants to pick the ring himself. I did not let this stop me because he was still wondering about the style I would like.So know I know a little more and when he ask i can give him concret, curt answers with minimal words.

    Nothing wrong with it. As long as you don’t give yourself a headache, which is very possible, especially if you know you aren’t going to be buying

    Edit: when I went to the Jewers I made sure not to place any rings on my left hand. I would put it on my right hand and turn it around so I can immagin what it would look like on my left. The jewelar thought it was cute.

    Post # 10
    Member
    568 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I dont believe in luck. If you are concerned with that then you should be concerned with seeing your Fiance before the wedding on your big day, wearing something borrowed, new, old, and blue. Its nice to go with tradition, but its not bad luck if you dont.

    Post # 11
    Member
    228 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I agree with many of the others, that there’s nothing superstitious about it.  For some people who like to be practical, its a pretty good step to finding a ring that you’ll love.  Like others who mentioned it before, it is something you’ll be wearing 24/7. 

    The other thing was, my fingers usually didn’t fit the rings at the store so if he proposed, I really wanted to have a ring that was already sized so we could tell everyone right away.

    My fiance hates to shop and would rather that I pick out 3-4 rings that I really liked, went shopping with me once, and then later picked the one he wanted to give me and buy it when I wasn’t around. 

    The proposal was still a surprise since I had no idea when it might happen, I just knew he knew what I liked.

    Post # 12
    Member
    339 posts
    Helper bee

    Go for it!  Honestly I hate being put on the spot so it was better for me to go and look at what I liked alone and take my time.  They also aren’t hard on you for buying stuff because you won’t be getting your own ring.  Then when I went with my bf it was a lot easier 🙂 

    Post # 13
    Member
    6355 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I think it’s a bit odd in that… stereotypical woman dying to get married sense… but no, it’s not bad luck.

    Post # 14
    Member
    870 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I looked without my Fiance.  He wasn’t extremely interested in ring shopping, he just wanted me to have a ring I was happy with.  So I went a couple of times with my mom and a couple of times with a friend and then once I knew what I liked, I dragged him to the store and showed him what I wanted and he bought it.  So I don’t think it’s bad luck at all. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    314 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013 - Makena Cove

    I went with two girlfriends first because I had no idea what I wanted. The sales person wasn’t that helpful and it was kind of disappointing because I felt so dismissed. A week later, SO and I went back to the same shop and we had 3 people treating us like royalty. If you’re shopping to get an idea, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.

    I personally don’t believe in superstitions wedding related and it’s all about your personal preference.

    Post # 16
    Member
    511 posts
    Busy bee

    @sunrisepassion:  I don’t think there’s any curse specifically for going engagement ring shopping without your So, but I do think it’s presumptuous.

    The topic ‘is it bad luck to ring shop WITHOUT your bf?’ is closed to new replies.

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