(Closed) Is it bad to give him a preferred proposal date?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
5669 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

You have already told him how much that date means to you and you would love to get engaged on that date. Leave it at that. He knows how you feel, now it’s up to him to decide when to propose. He needs to feel like he is in control of something with the proposal. And that date is 4 months away, DH didn’t have my ring in hand until 2 days before he proposed.

Post # 4
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If you have already talked about it and he knows you would like that date (he must since he said he does), then I would just leave it. I know I hear the “just let it happen” line a lot and I know that putting pressure on a date may make him not want to do it then so that you are still surprised.. in my opinion you should just let it be (as hard as it is) and see what happens. If you dont put pressure on him, he will feel better about it being a surprise on that day .. 

HOWEVER when you get close to that day you need to find a way to tell yourself it probably won’t happen that day or else you will be way way wayyy to hyped up for it and crushed if it doesnt happen. It is still a very special day to you both and you should celebrate the happiness you have with him with or without a ring. It is hard but try to keep that mentaility 

Post # 5
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you’ve made it more than abundantly clear when you want this proposal, so I’d back off.  If you push too much, he might get stressed out and it’ll push him away or make him wait longer.  Remember, a proposal is just as much his as it is yours… he needs to feel comfortable about the timing, too.

Post # 6
8036 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@ReganLove:  Not sure what else you can do. He knows you want a proposal on that date. I’d let him know what setting you want and call that it.

Post # 7
1547 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would just keep quiet at this point, he knows.

Post # 9
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I hate the “just let it happen” response. lol. get it all the time.

Post # 11
370 posts
Helper bee

ya I hate it! I get the “let it happen naturally” alot. Well buddy if it was going to be natural you’d have done it along time ago. I’m obviously bitchin’ cause youve waited too long making it unnatural grrrr  (having a hard waiting day today as you can see lol)

Post # 12
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
@roxy821:  Exactly. You told him your “wishes”, but leave it at “wishes” and don’t put too much pressure/demand on him for that date.

Post # 14
2780 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I wouldn’t have ever waited 7 years to marry someone, thats too long and if he didn’t want to marry you after 2, 3, 4 or 5 years, he probably never will actually want to marry you. He may do it and propose, but it will always be because he felt pressured for it. The only exceptions are if there are valid reasons to wait, such as college degrees.

Post # 15
679 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
@Tiffmorris: That’s kind of a rude and uncalled for response. That’s not the question she was asking. There are all kinds of legit reasons that couples wait to get engaged, and indeed, in this case, they are high school sweethearts and are still quite young, hence the long relationship. It’s not fair to judge someone’s comittment (or lack thereof) based solely on the length of the relationship.

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