Is it bad to not show MIL my dress before the wedding?

posted 1 year ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
9152 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i went dress shopping with my mom only.  then my Maid/Matron of Honor came to my final fitting to learn how to do the bustle.  no one else saw the dress until my wedding day.

Post # 3
Member
733 posts
Busy bee

I also went shopping with just my mom and went by myself for the fittings. There’s no reason your fmil needs to go to any of it.

Post # 4
Member
1682 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Mine isn’t seeing mine before the wedding. But then again, she hasn’t asked to see it. I don’t think that makes you a bad DIL – the Mother-In-Law just traditionally has very little to do with anything bridal, whether she is a monster or an angel. It’s only in recent times that the Mother-In-Law is commonly seen in the wedding entourage when brides pick their gowns and stuff. 

If she asks, I plan to say that I’m going the traditional route and only my mother and sister (MoH) are seeing the dress before the wedding day, and never bring it up again XD

Post # 5
Hostess
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I guess I never thought showing my Mother-In-Law my dress needed to be a thing? She saw it on the wedding day just like everyone else. I think you’re creating drama where there really isn’t any because she overwhelms you. 

Post # 6
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee

I included Mother-In-Law in dress shopping but SIL did not. I know Mother-In-Law was hurt by SIL but she never said anything and it never turned into a thing. 3 years later and their relationship is probably no different than it would have been. 

Mother-In-Law has only sons which is why I felt it important to include her, personally. 

If your Mother-In-Law is the type to hold a grudge I’d probably include her. Or schedule a separate appt to show her if possible  

Post # 7
Member
2404 posts
Buzzing bee

There’s no reason for your Mother-In-Law to have any involvement in your dress shopping/fittings/etc.  It sounds like if she’s invovled she will take it as a license to have opinions and think she has the right to make decisions, so keep her out of the loop to keep your sanity.

Post # 8
Member
11946 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

There is no obligation whatsoever to take your mother in law dress shopping or to show her the dress ahead of time. 

Post # 9
Member
7613 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

campingbee54 :  my Mother-In-Law didn’t come dress shopping with me or to any of the fittings. We get along just fine, but it just wasn’t necessary for her to be there. I never invited, she never asked. 

Post # 10
Member
1801 posts
Buzzing bee

I showed Mother-In-Law and SIL my dress, the dress I LOVE and bought by myself years ago in anticipation…….their response was lackluster. It was really disappointing and I regret showing them. I know it shouldn’t matter because I love the dress, but it hurt.

Post # 11
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

My Mother-In-Law did not come dress shopping/fitting. I just had my mom/sister. I did send her and my other bridesmaids a picture of me in the dress I ended up choosing. I think that did make everyone who didn’t come feel in the loop and included.

Post # 12
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I don’t think it’s bad if she get’s surprised on the wedding day.  Just spin it positively if she ask.  My Mother-In-Law saw the dress before I purchased it and she is attending fittings because she is a former seamstress.  I trust her opinion and she is never been anything less than helpful. 

Post # 13
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

This is going to probably be the only wedding for my Mother in Law, so I decided to include her, (Plus we have an OK relationship).  However, it is absolutely NOT necessary.  If you don’t want to include her, then don’t.  She doesn’t need to be there.

Post # 15
Member
9608 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

my Mother-In-Law is like this.

I did not invite her to a fitting, or anyone else for that matter.  Keep fittings between you and the seamstress, you’ll get the best results that way imo, especially if you think she’d ‘take charge’ of your fitting.

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