(Closed) Is it common courtesy to ask future SIL (sister in law) to be a bridesmaid?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 62
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I had mine.  We weren’t and still aren’t super close, but I think it’s a nice gesture and way to kick off the “we’re one big family now” thing.

Post # 63
Member
3356 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I didn’t feel very close to my SIL when I asked her to be my bridesmaid, but I did so because I wanted to get to know her better (and I did) and also because I have a severe lack of female friends.

it worked out. I feel like I can really talk to her about anything now 🙂

Post # 64
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I did and she will be up there with me.  My mom didn’t have her SIL up their with her and she felt it started their relationship off on the wrong foot (she still doesn’t get along with one 25 years later.  So she suggested I do it.  My SIL has definitely been a pain in the ass compared to my other bridesmaids (complaining about everything) but I’m glad I’m doing it.  My Fiance is really happy.

Post # 65
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I asked my Future Sister-In-Law to be a bridesmaid because I wanted my brother to be a groomsmen. We each only have one sibling, so it works out well.

Post # 66
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My Future Sister-In-Law will be in the wedding.  She is my fiances brother’s wife.  They live about a mile away and we see each other fairly often and hang out even with out the guys.  My mom is very close with her SIL and I want to be close with mine so I wanted to have her be a part of my wedding. I think it depends on your situation, but in the end as the bride you get to decide how will stand up with you on your wedding day.

Post # 67
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I asked my (then) fiance if he wanted me to ask her. He said “no”. Good thing, because the couple filed for divorce the week of the wedding, and neither one attended! If my fiance wanted me to, I definitely would, and, in most cases I would as a courtesy.

Post # 68
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My Future Sister-In-Law will be marrying FH’s brother about a month after our wedding.  FH & I aren’t even sure we’ll be invited.  And at this point I think FH is still hiding their invitation and refusing to mail it…

That’s one of those “bat-shit crazy” relationships where it’s better NOT to ask. 😉  (Also, the couple didn’t seem that close when we got engaged & were picking attendants – there was some infideity there, we didn’t expect them to still be together – never mind planning a wedding.)

Post # 69
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Kamazing:  I have asked my Future Sister-In-Law to be a bridesmaid at my wedding because frankly, I just feel obligated.  I feel like it’s the right thing to do, as far as solidifying future family relationships and not allowing anyone to feel left out. But the truth is that even after knowing her for over two years, having attended many of her family’s functions and even serving as an usher at her own wedding (I had just met my fiance, her brother, just around the time she was marrying, hence why I wasn’t a part of her bridal party), we just have not developed a close relationship at all. She’s a good person, but for whatever reason, our personalities just have not clicked. I know things can always be worse–I’ve read some horror stories on this site about very unpleasant relationships between brides and their sister-in-laws– but I just wish we could be a little closer than we are. I sincerely hope that develops in time.

Post # 70
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

For me, my fiance has a brother and a sister, and I have a brother. We didn’t keep the bridal party as strictly family, but we both asked each other’s siblings. All of our siblings will be in the bridal party. It meant a lot to me that my brother be one of his groomsmen and it meant a lot to me that his sister be one of my bridesmaids. We are not super close, but we are about to be family and I am so excited to have our wedding with all of our siblings in the wedding.

Post # 71
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m not asking my Future Sister-In-Law to be a bridesmaid because I think she’s a f****** idiot… so there’s that.

I probably should explain, but there is waaaaayyyyy too much to mention and I don’t even know where to begin. I just don’t like her. Period.

Post # 72
Member
909 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My Fiance has 3 sisters, one who is getting married two weeks before us and she is having the other 2 in her bridal party. I figured it would be too much of a hassle to ask any of them with the weddings so close. Plus I had a lot of girls I planned on asking already (I have 8 BMs! Can’t imagine adding more)

Post # 73
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I asked my Future Sister-In-Law to be a bridesmaid.  I see it as recognition that although I don’t know her that well presently, she will be an important part of my life.

Post # 74
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I asked Future Sister-In-Law to be a bridesmaid b/c I thought it was the right thing to do and my brothers were groomsmen.  In hindsight I wish I hadn’t as she didn’t do anything to help my Maid/Matron of Honor and went out of her way to be difficult about things.  I didn’t know her too well before and was optimistic it would be a nice opportunity to get to know each other better but it really didn’t work out that way.  I think each situation is different and wouldn’t tell anyone that it is a must.  

Post # 75
Member
1926 posts
Buzzing bee

My SO has two sisters and I feel like it’s only right to ask them. I don’t have many close girlfriends after moving to another country so my Maid/Matron of Honor will be my closest cousin. Yes, I’m expecting them to throw some problems at me, but I’m sure they’ll be excited. 

Post # 76
Member
846 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

it’s probably the right thing to do. there was no question that both my brother and my fiances sister would be in the wedding. friends come and go, but family is forever. even if you aren’t terribly close, this would be the perfect opportunity for you to bond.

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