Post # 1
Hey ladies – a bridesmaid etiquette question for you:
I’m MoHing for my friend this spring, and she’s getting us the details of what she wants us to wear. I’ve known the basic gist of it for a while, and I’ve known for months that she wants us wearing yellow gold and no silver/white metal. And I was totally cool with that… still am, really, and have some yellow gold pieces in mind that I can wear if she gives me the okay. But — I just got engaged myself a few months ago, and my e-ring is platinum.
I don’t feel right offering to take it off for her wedding, but I know I should probably address the issue now rather than just show up and feel upset myself being told that I can’t wear my own e-ring or upsetting her by insisting on wearing it. When I address the question with her, how can I phrase it in a way that’s both firm (i.e. she IS the bride, but I’d feel pretty upset if she told me I can’t wear my own e-ring as her bridesmaid) but understanding of her vision and her wants for her day?
Is it customary for bms to remove their e-rings? I’m also wondering where this falls in the wider world of wedding normality… if it’s super-common for bms to wear their own rings that don’t match their attire for another’s wedding and I’m being overly sensitive, it’ll make a big difference in how I ask her about it 😛
Post # 3
I’ve never heard of BMs taking off their rings, but that might just be where I’m from. So would a BM take off her wedding band if she were married?
Post # 4
I’ve never heard of having to take off your engagement ring/wedding band before, I don’t think it should be an issue.
Post # 5
As long as your e-ring isn’t huge and distracting I bet you could wear it that day and she (nor anyone else) would notice. You’re gonna be holding a bouquet in the ceremony and pictures anyways so it’s not like it’ll be glaringly visible. Unless she’s a MAJOR bridezilla I bet it won’t be a big deal.
Post # 6
Wow. She sounds like a bridezilla. Why would she dictate details down to the rings you are wearing? Tell her to calm down. It’s not like the photographers are going to be taking pictures of the bridal parties rings and earrings.
Post # 7
Yeah, I think that’s asking a little too much.
Post # 8
Naaaaahhhh….I don’t think there would be any issue.
In fact, I wouldn’t even ask the bride about it. No one will even notice.
Post # 9
I think it’s kind of ridiculous for the bride to ask. Wear it anyway.
Post # 10
I would be upset if I were told to take mine off. It’s something you wear all the time; it’s as much a part of you now as your hair style or skin tone. She can’t ask you to change either of those, so she can’t ask you to remove your ring.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2011 - Franciscan Gardens
Before I was engaged I wore (and still do!) a white gold star sapphire ring that my Mom gave me and I was never asked to take it off in the 2xs I was a bridesmaid. I removed my necklaces, bracelets, earrings because everyone really sees those and normally you coordinate them to go with your outfit. I changed those out in favor of the jewlery that the bride wanted us to wear… Honestly, I wouldn’t even address it. I would just show up on the day of and wear your ring. I cannot imagine her asking you to remove it… and if she does, then WOW! lol
Post # 12
My cousin asked that no one wear their engagement/wedding jewelry when we were bridesmaids in her wedding. I should have promptly stepped aside as a bridesmaid because her ‘requests’ only got more ridiculous as time went on. Regardless as to what size/shape/color your ring is, it’s improper to ask you not to wear it.
Post # 13
That’s one I probably would just wait for her to (maybe) bring up. It may be a non-issue, or a detail she doesn’t think of, so I say don’t remind her 🙂
Post # 14
I think that is completely unreasonable to ask you to remove your rings.
I will need to ask one of my bridesmaids to wear my engagement ring during the ceremony because it only fits on my left hand and I want to be able to put it back on straight away (rather than leave it with someone not up at the altar with us.
Post # 15
I do think it is a bit unreasonable for her to ask that because like others have said, no one is going to notice.
I would be tempted to acknowlegde the rule but when it came to the day of the wedding, ‘just forget to take it off.’ I know on my wedding day there were bigger issues I was worried about than if their jewelry was white gold or not. Is she going to line you up and visually inspect each bridesmaid the day of the wedding?? I hope not.
Post # 16
She hasn’t asked that you remove your rings (as other’s seem to have taken, but I’m sure you (OP) know), just that you wear yellow gold jewllery. Jewelry extends well past engagement rings. I’m sure that she would just rather not have a mix of gold bangles, silver bracelets, necklaces etc.
Your ring will be fine, as a new bride I’m sure she understands how much more important an engagement ring is than other random jewelry. I would ask, just to be up front “Hey ___Bride’s Name___, I know you said all yellow gold, but can I please wear my e-ring, it’s just so new I don’t ever want to take it off!”