Is it common to pay for groom's mother, sister's, etc. Hair and Makeup?

posted 1 year ago in Beauty
Post # 17
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

hermionegranger :  wow it sounds like they’re trying to pull a fast one by including it in your budget.  Absolutely have that cut from budget they need to pay for their own hair and makeup.  What nonsense.

Post # 18
Member
3193 posts
Sugar bee

This is your fiance’s battle, not yours.

Post # 19
Member
749 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think having the aunt as the wedding planner was the best idea. Have your fiance talk to the aunt and then his mom and sister. 

Post # 20
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

So its conspiracy to get free hair and make up is it? Sigh. No, they, no. This is ridiculous. You need to put a stop to this now. 

Post # 21
Member
816 posts
Busy bee

Yeh you need to fire the aunt 😂 that’s ridiculous! I’m paying for my sister and my fi sister but as gifts/treats to them I don’t care how they have their hair or makeup but I thought it would be nice! They need to pay for themselves, and I think I remember the thread about the aunt wedding planner, just fire fire fire! She’s taking the piss!

Post # 23
Member
3838 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Uh, no, they shouldn’t assume you’re paying, and you are certainly do not need to do so unless you are requiring them to wear a certain style (which you aren’t!). Agree your fiance needs to handle this one. 

And make you scrutinise the rest of that budget just in case!

Post # 24
Member
4689 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Are they traveling from the Caribbean to come to your wedding? Maybe in their culture its custom for the bride and groom to pay for their hair and makeup?

Post # 25
Member
66 posts
Worker bee

No one should expect anything. 

I am paying for my mom and mother in law to get their hair done because my makeup / hair artist required minimum 4 people for services. This was when I was only having 1 attendant stand with me, and now I’m having 2 , so if I knew that before I wouldn’t have had my mil in on it. 

 

Post # 26
Member
1974 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

I don’t know how common it is but to me I find it respectful.

Post # 27
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

hermionegranger :  I think paying for MOG is a nice gesture if you -want- to do it. But it’s up to you to offer, they shouldn’t assume. As for his sisters, that’s just weird to me. 

Post # 28
Member
2826 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think it’s common or expected, especially when they’re just guests. It’s not even very common for wedding guests to get their hair and makeup done in the first place. Is it a very formal wedding?

Could you send an email to them and just be like “I’ll be getting my hair and makeup done at such and such, would love for you to join me if you’re interested, but of course no pressure! Hair would be XX and makeup would be XX.” 

You could also offer to take them to get their nails done instead? It would be a bit cheape and then it’s more of a bonding time thing. 

Post # 29
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2020 - New York, New York

I was a bridesmaid in the wedding, and my friend (the bride) didn’t pay for our hair and makeup! I was totally fine with it because she didn’t ask us to do anything particular. Some bridesmaids opted to pay to get their hair and makeup done professionally, and others decided to do their own to save money. 

Did your mother-in-law find out that you’re paying for your mom’s hair and makeup? If so, that might be why she thinks you’re paying; maybe she thinks now that you’re marrying her son, she gets the same treatment (which is still wrong of her to assume). However, I have no idea why his sisters think you’re paying for their hair and makeup. 

Post # 30
Member
4474 posts
Honey bee

I don’t think it is common in North America, but I could see how his mom might get the impression this is something being offered for her, too.  Especially if paying for your mom is an official “wedding expense” in your budget.  

It would have been nice to offer it to her, too.  She is no less important to the wedding than your mom (that is not to say either of them have any sort of official role and you could get married without either of them, but they are equal in their unimportance to the wedding).  I could see how it would be perceived as a bit of a slap in the face to pay for the mother of the bride, but EFF off mother of the groom-no one cares about you and you’re on your own.  It was presumptuous of her (and especially the sisters) to add that expense in and assume, but I think the proper way to handle this if you weren’t going to treat both mothers equally was to offer the service to everyone (parents and maybe siblings) at their own expense and then quietly give your mom the money or find a way to pay such that it wasn’t announced to anyone else you were doing it or putting it in an official budget that other family members could see.

ETA this assumes at least they (or the aunt) found out about you paying for your mom because you had your planner (i.e. his family) set it up and/or put it in your budget.

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