Is it crazy to get pregnant in quarantine?

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 61
Member
857 posts
Busy bee

Another thing to consider is whether or not the quarantine will last 12 months.  Like we have seen in the news this week, many states are itching to open ASAP. Would you or your husband need to leave the house for your jobs?  You could potentially have to leave your self-isolation, and your potential interactions could mean that you come in contact with COVID 19.  My husband and I were going to TTC in May, but we are holding off at this point.  We are both just under 30.  It was a really hard and sad decision, but after a few weeks of thinking it over, we are both feeling a lot more peace with it.  I hope if you feel good about whichever decision you make.  Good luck <3

Post # 62
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Probably unpopular opinion here:

I’m a doctor. Working the front line (not the ER, but hospitalist). I understand the severity of coronavirus.  I’m in an urban area in the U.S. that has been in lockdown for weeks. The hospitals in my area are hit, including my hospital. Despite that, I would still say that if you were planning to TTC, I would still continue those plans. 

Through my years of training and practice, I’ve seen so much terrible stuff. This includes covid. But it also includes shit like telling a newly married 30 year old that she has an incurable brain tumor, explaining to a SAHM that her 40 year old husband just had a stroke that impaired his speech and I’m not sure if he’ll ever be able to continue his job as an attorney, telling a son that lives in another state and hasn’t visited in 3 years that his Dad just had a massive heart attack and I’m not sure he’ll make it to the hospital in time to see him for one last time. What I’ve learned through all this is that TOMORROW IS NOT GUARANTEED. We hope and know that the pandemic will get better, but we don’t know if something else is going to happen to us or our loved ones. 

So, if now is a good time, you do you. Now definitely isn’t  time (or ever for that matter) to pass judgement. Stay home, wash hands, protective yourselves as much as you can. But life goes on. And labor and delivery is not shutting down. It’s not as though strokes, heart attacks, GI bleeds have stopped for coronavirus, and neither has pregnancy or pregnancy related complications. Appointments and care will continue, just maybe in a different way than before.

Post # 63
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008 - Toronto, ON

I am 40 and my husband is 49 and we have a son that just turned 5 a few days ago. We always planned on having 2 children but we procrastinated more on my part because I had a very difficult pregnancy and my son was born early. We were thinking about possibly ttc around now, I have a sister who’s 5 years 8 months older than me, it’s just the 2 of us and we are close, despite our age difference. Even though I was hoping for a smaller age gap, I was finally mentally ready and we were going to try for another. I would be considered high risk so that would mean a lot of drs appointments and I don’t feel comfortable so we have decided if this quarantine continues we are one and done. I told my bff and she thinks I am nuts because it’s our last chance  but for me it’s just not worth the risk.

Post # 64
Member
9227 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I just found out I need to wear a mask (possibly medical grade if they have it, but I should arrive wearing my own just in case) for the entirety of my labor and delivery. For the those considering becoming first time mamas I can tell you from experience that you breathe pretty damn heavy while evicting a human from your vagina. It is going to SUCK. And no more gas & air at my hospital because of this change (I didn’t use it last time, but it was, and is, my backup plan if I need pain relief). I won’t be able to see my nurses’ faces for reassurance that everything is going ok. I won’t be able to see my husband’s reaction when he first sees our son. 

Seriously f this shit. Avoid it if you can.

Post # 65
Member
6294 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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LilliV :  My god. I was breathing significantly heavier than normal today at my first in office appointment today with a mask on since this started. I couldn’t imagine wearing a mask in labor 😭 I haven’t even asked about a mask in delivery yet, because I’m still worried that my hospital’s policy is to take the baby away from a COVID-19 positive mother after birth. I told my midwife today that I will not let that happened unless I’m so sick that I can’t physically take care of the baby. I told her immediate skin-to-skin and breastfeeding is priority to me. It still blows my mind since the CDC and WHO changed their guidelines that my hospital hasn’t.

Post # 66
Member
9227 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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SeaOfLove :  currently my hospital isn’t able to test everyone unless they show symptoms. But obviously you can be asymptomatic and have the virus hence the mask requirements but not separation. We are aiming for an early discharge but I was warned that because we are getting a circumcision it could be delayed just to wait for that procedure (the midwife actually suggested skipping it altogether because of the pandemic but that is too extreme for us and she didn’t drop it until I reminded her my husband is Jewish… )

Post # 67
Member
1396 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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LilliV :  oh my god, I hadn’t even thought about a mask being the reason you can’t see your husband’s reaction when you give birth. This shreds my heart. I’m not due until Sept but I’m still so scared this will all be a shit show by then. Ugh.

Post # 68
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I personally wouldn’t… But that being said my husband and I want to start a family in a few years and if this was still going on by then and the world was simiilar to how it is now still I probably would go for it. If you’re wanting more children it may be a good idea to start earlier instead of waiting too long. 

Post # 69
Member
34 posts
Newbee

I gave birth 3 weeks ago. At the last minute (already 4 cm along and intense contractions but still at home) I was redirected to a different hospital than planned due to hospital capacity issues. I had done a tour of my desired hospital months earlier and my husband knew the route there. The second hospital was one we had never visited. We followed the midwife in her car. I had been counting on having an epidural but due to overburdened anesthesiologists this was no longer available. I was  panicking and begging for literally anything for the pain. In the end my child and I are fine physically but I had pretty bad flashbacks and panic attacks for the first couple weeks after the birth because that kind of intense panic and fear doesn’t just dissipate overnight. I would never tell anyone what to do re: TTC but I would say if you want to proceed to go into it with open eyes and be fully informed about the situation in your local hospitals, ob/midwife practices, birth centers etc. The past month isolated at home with a newborn and no family contact aside from skype has also been overwhelming. Again not to deter people entirely but just to say that being aware of this reality and thinking hard about how you and your partner would handle it is crucial I think.

Post # 70
Member
6294 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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greensea :  Omg, I’m so sorry, darling.  Your most basic expectations that should have been simple were completely thrown for a loop.  You always expect them to suggest more interventions, not less/not have any time to help you with pain relief.  I’m so so sorry.  I hope you’re feeling a bit better a few weeks later… If you’re not, don’t hesitate to reach out to a healthcare professional <3  Everything that happens during and after labor and delivery can really have lasting effects throughout your first year, sometimes longer.

Post # 71
Member
2624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

While it’s absolutely horrifying that women are being forced to wear masks (though I do wonder what they’d do if you just refused, it’s not like they can send you away at that point) and are being denied pain medication, I do think it’s really important that everyone who is thinking about their TTC plans to A.) look into what is happening in their area/hospital and B.) remember that 9-12+ months is a long time, and things won’t look the same even if there’s no vaccine yet. My practice is allowing partners to come to appointments, and since they consider doulas part of the medical team, they’re allowing them to attend births as well. Our area isn’t especially badly hit, and even if we were successful our first month of trying (unlikely), we’ll be past the theoretical second wave of COVID.

It really is unfair that women who planned their pregnancies in a normal world are being forced to comply with a laundry list of intense demands, and you all deserve to walk around with gold stars for the rest of time. I do think it’s important for those of us lining up at the start of the TTC/parenthood marathon to remember though, a lot will change over the course of the race. 

Post # 72
Member
559 posts
Busy bee

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SeaOfLove :  no one can take your baby away from you without your consent.  i would imagine you might have to sign some sort of “waiver” regarding covid risks, but it will ultimately be your choice.  

Post # 73
Member
6294 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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diana148 :  I know, and that’s why I told my midwife of my choice. She said she would make it loud and clear in my file. I wanted to be sure it was clear since you’re so vulnerable during L&D and postpartum. My husband won’t be able to stay with me postpartum either since he has to take care of our toddler, so I need to prepare the best I can now.

Post # 74
Member
33 posts
Newbee

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LilliV :  A mask the whole time wow! My hospital in Boston is now testing ALL mothers admitted to L&D maybe to prevent the need to do this due to asymptomatic mothers. I know a lot of hospitals dont have that capability tho. 

Post # 75
Member
9227 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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hereforttcadvice :  I’m hoping they are able to move to this by the time I deliver. I’m delivering in Cambridge so get some of those tests across the river! 

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