(Closed) Is it crazy to go dress "looking" before you're engaged?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it makes sense to start looking. You never know when you might find a good deal.

Post # 4
2755 posts
Sugar bee

You don’t have to tell them anything you aren’t comfortable disclosing – just say, I’m looking for this kind of dress, what do you have? They don’t need to know you aren’t actually engaged yet – the fact that you are planning doesn’t make it seem crazy to me.

I think if you were in a brand new relationship or totally single and wanting to go try on dresses, I might think “that chick’s a bit loco” but at this stage it makes sense.


Post # 5
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I certainly wouldn’t tell the dreas shop that you aren’t actually engaged as they’ll probably not be so willing to help

Post # 6
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If you are anticipating a proposal soon and really plan to have that short of an engagement, I think it makes sense to start looking now. Not sure what your plans are for a dress, but most places take several months to get a dress in unless you buy it off the rack.

I agree with @summer_1981:  I would not tell them you are not engaged. Although we would like to think they would be equally helpful, they may not take you seriously and think you won’t be buying a dress. I have a friend who works in a bridal shop and she says one of their biggest annoyances is when young girls come in with no intention of buying a dress, just to have some fun playing dress up. You don’t want them to think this is you.

Post # 7
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@luvmesumhim:  I’d say it makes sense to start looking now. You could even say that you’re just looking for a dress in that style/color for a party or whatever… just leave the engagement part out. I don’t think it’s bad luck or anything, and realistically they’re after your business… it doesn’t matter if you’re buying it to set it on fire lol.

Post # 11
9691 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would start looking if those are your plans.  My dress took 4 months to come in, so it doesn’t hurt.  If you decide you want to order one it does take time to come in.

Just tell them you’re engaged, or that you are getting engaged in a month but you are eloping that month.  If they are rude about it, go elsewhere.

I bought my dress before I had my ring (mostly because I had an appointment from a bridal show and I happened to find one at my appointment) and I told them we weren’t “officially” engaged yet (we did have the date set though).  They didn’t care and were still perfectly nice to me!

Post # 12
14659 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’d just tell them you’re engaged and set a  date for some time and waiting for the ring to be made.  Thats what it sounds like to me anyways.  A ring is just a symbol, its not “the” engagement.  They dont need to know you’re not “technically” engaged.

Post # 13
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

eh, if you are eloping then what’s the big deal. if you had to worry about family members finding out and then freaking out, then I’d hold off on it but who cares what some sales associate at David’s Bridal thinks. Besides, you don’t have to tell her yuor not officially engaged yet. And if she asks where your ring is, she is nosy and rude!

Post # 14
4575 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@luvmesumhim:  Of course it does, i think its good that you are doing that now, so you have an idea of what you want and you have to time to find it.  Also, since you both are on the same page of what you want, then why not?  have fun and enjoy!

Post # 15
1222 posts
Bumble bee

I think it makes total sense. The only thing is I’d run it by my future FI- no one else’s opinion really matters except his, but you don’t want him to feel rushed either. Just explain that you’d like to have a dress in time and even if you found a dress today it doesn’t mean your timeline is moving any faster. He’ll probably understand once you explain- but most guys don’t realize you usually can’t buy a dress in one day so running out and buying one without giving him a head’s up may make him feel pressured to hurry up and get a ring on your finger!

I hope I’m not thread jacking, but we have a timeline of 2 years max to get engaged (he’s got a couple of other finances to settle before saving for a ring), and I already have a couple of folders of wedding stuff on my computer for later, just for ideas (nothing in stone). But he knows about all of it so he won’t be caught off guard if he’s on my computer one day and sees the “Wedding” folder in my favorites.

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