(Closed) Is it ever OK for your best friend and ex-love to date?

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

had the same dilemma myself except my ex is the father to my 8 year old daughter….was fuming at the start because she hadnt the decency to say to me at work …found out from a friend of a friend who i hardly know  so this made me mad , love my future husband more than anything but no girl wants to be compared to one of her best friends (especially in the bedroom department ),,,so over all  its a no go zone for me rule   ….. theres pleny other ones out there so leave the exs alone 

Post # 33
Member
2148 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I can see how it would be weird but if I were your friend, honestly I wouldn’t say anything either. Who knows what the date is about. I am sure during the 6 years that you have been with this guy on and off, he has bonded with your best friend as well.

I can totally understand your best friend not wanting to tell you until she is sure that there IS something to tell. I honestly don’t see anything sneaky in what she or your ex is doing. What I do see are two people that care about you that are trying to see what they can have in a way that will cause the least amt of damage.

I wouldn’t say anything to her about it if I were you. Let them do their thing and come to you when they are ready.

Post # 34
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

isn’t that the girlfriend rule…you and your friends dont date each others ex’s?? with that being said, I honestly wouldn’t care seeing any of my friends date any of my ex’s – have fun ladies haha. There’s a reason I didn’t want them anymore so I could care less who they are with. But a good note is I dont have to worry about seeing any of their faces because 1 – me and my best/closest friends dont have the same taste and 2 – my closest friends are married/in long term relationships

Post # 35
Member
4460 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@miss allie: I would be mad if I were still in high school, but I’m not. I don’t think you should be either. You moved on and are married now. Sometimes people can’t help feel the way the do. There is no rule saying that none of your friends get to date your ex. I mean, that rule applies when you are in high school, but now when you are an adult. I say you give them your best wishes and you enjoy your happy married life. If you start stressing and flipping out about it, your husband is going to wonder why you even care.

Post # 36
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@miss allie: I can understand why you’d be upset, and I’m sure it’s weird to see your best friend dating someone that you were with for so long. But I also think she hasn’t told you about it because she feels really awkward, since you guys dated for so long, and she’s not sure how you would react, even if you have moved on and gotten married to someone else. I think you are right in not confronting her…I’d just wait and see where this goes, and if it gets more serious, I’m sure she’ll sit down and talk to you about it. But if they are just in the dating phase, there’s the possibility that it won’t work out.

Post # 37
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t have much to add-I don’t think an ex is necessariily off limits, and I don’t think you have the right to tell two single people whether or not they can date; HOWEVER, he doesn’t seem like such a great catch either. If he’s confessing his undying love to you then trying to get with someone else simultaniously, it seems his actions are more out of lonliness and jealousy than actual love. He needs to learn to appreicate what he has WHEN HE HAS IT and not once it’s gone. 

Post # 38
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

 Iti s always hard seeing an ex-love, and I can understand the emotions. But, focus on your husband, how much you love him and how much you want your friends to be happy. She didn’t steal him from you, right? You have alread moved on. Maybe she hasn’t said anything yet because nothing has happened. Maybe she’s afraid to bring it up to you. Give her time to say something before you get upset.

My FH’s ex is dating my brother and they were IN LOVE. At first I was slightly worried because I couldn’t imagine having her in my life, but things have worked out great and I call her a friend.

Good luck with your choices and emotions!

Post # 40
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee

Not only do you DESERVE better than your ex, you HAVE better than your ex. Don’t forget that. 

Post # 41
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think one date is okay but a serious relationship would weird me out.  But if this happen to me I would be happy for the couple but super weirded out.

Post # 42
Member
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Unwritten girlfriend rule with my friends means this is a big NO NO. It just makes things too complicated and in the end if your friend does date your ex-love and they become serious she will 9 times out of 10 pick his side over yours. Not somewhere I’d ever like to go with my friends…

Post # 43
Member
1974 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

The quick answer?  No.  You shouldn’t be upset.  You’re married.  Your husband should have 100% of your heart.  Put yourself in your husbands shoes.  How would you react if he was in the same position and would always love his ex in a certain way? 

Post # 44
Member
354 posts
Helper bee

over my dead body!

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