(Closed) Is it ever okay to take back a ring (that you hate)?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Is it ever okay to take back a ring that you utterly hate?

    Heck no! He picked it, you stick with it!

    Uh... Yeah! That thing is like, perm.a.nent...

    Only if it breaks

    other.... leave a message :)

  • Post # 16
    3048 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    I think she should talk to her Fiance about the whole thing. I wouldn’t want to wear what I deemed to be an ugly ring for the rest of my life. But I also wouldn’t want my Fiance to think his efforts were useless. If she talked to her Fiance and was grateful for the ring, and told him she was thankful he tried so hard… but didn’t quite get it, I would say it’s fine. But if she made him feel awful about it by not thanking him, then she should have gone about it the wrong way.

    I understand guys get their egos hurt a lot though. My Fiance bought me som Ray Bans for my birthday. But they were totally ugly and purple. I wanted WayFarers. He was extremely bummed. I told him, “Babe, I know you picked this out, and I know you tried really hard… but I just don’t want purple Ray Bans. You spent so much money on this, maybe we should trade them for something I will love”. He hung his head for a day or so, but I love my new Ray Bans and his purchase can now be enjoyed! 🙂

    Post # 17
    858 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @kperry3: thats the right way to go about it I know not all guys think the same way but alot of guys feel this is the most important purchase ever and spend along time on it they should feel like all of their hard work means something even if its not what you would have wanted

    Post # 18
    108 posts
    Blushing bee

    i would like to believe he knows how picky i am and not be so silly as to try to make that big of a purchase without help. however, things happen.

    i agree with the other girls that since it is uncomfortable, it is ok, but her other two reasons are very shallow. what else is she going to be unhappy with in their potential marriage due to superficial reasons? part of me thinks the “uncomfortable” reason was just a way to justify it.

    not trying to say anything bad about her, sorry if it feels that way, but her actions seem extremely shallow

    Post # 19
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I took back my engagement ring and everything turned out fine. There were different circumstances (original e-ring, which he picked out and I loved, broke and fiance purchased another one that I absolutely hated). He gave me the new ring and I cried- not in a good way! After an hour or so of me trying to act like it was alright, we took it back that same night and exchanged it for something else. I don’t feel shallow about this and my husband is happy that I am happy! All will turn out fine for your sister, I’m sure.

    Post # 20
    370 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I think it’s ok to try and trade the ring to something you really love if you A: really really do hate the ring you got, and B: approach the topic in a delicate way. Maybe if she were to emphasize the uncomfortable band aspect, and the fact that the setting keeps getting caught on things with something like, “it’s really beautiful, and I love how thoughtful it was, but it just isn’t practical for me. Would you mind if we maybe went and looked at some styles that might suit my lifestyle better?” However, I feel like being “underwhelmed” by the size of a diamond is never a reason to ask to go back to the jeweler. Even implying wanting a bigger stone (or really anything that isn’t comparably priced) just seems bratty and ungrateful.  I actually want a small stone oddly enough. lol. 

    Post # 21
    17 posts
    • Wedding: July 2011

    When I first saw my ring, I totally loved it, but my dude kept telling me “I know you don’t like it, we should go get the one you like, plus it’s from Jcpenney and I know you want something that’ll make me go bankrupt” ….since he insisted, we had to postponed the wedding since all the money went to the ring…JK…. I kept the Jcpenney ring! ITS SOO CUTE! And I ABSOLUTELY LOVE that he chose it!  It reminds me of him everytime I see it 🙂 Wouldn’t change it for nothing!

    Post # 22
    629 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Girl, I took mine back! The funny thing is he ASKED me to send him pics of differnt rings I liked– I did. (antique-y halo of various shapes and sizes.)  Then several moths later he popped the question and gave me a very modern, high-profile one-stone ring.  Of course, I oohed and ahhed and made a big deal of it.  As I wore it, I noticed it caught on things because it was so tall.  He told me that on an impulse he just went out and decided tto get me a ring.  He told the saleslady what he wanted to spend, and she gave him several options and he picked one!  Then one day (about a week later) I asked him what HE thought of it– did he really like it? He said, “Sure, it’s pretty.”  So, then I said, “Would you be offended if I maybe traded it on for one more my style?” And he said “Sweetie, you have to wear it– go for it!”  I did, and the kicker is that it was 60% off and waaaay cheaper than the original.  I LOVE it!  I say, go for it! You will wear it for the rest of your life so why suffer?

    Post # 23
    67 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    My SO would be understanding, but I’m too sentimental…I think I’d really want the original ring that was part of the proposal! 

    Post # 24
    666 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I could see not liking a ring because of the band being too high and getting caught on something, that would be a good reson to change the band. I think it’s selfish to hate a ring just because she feels the stone is too small is just selfish. Her Fiance loves her and picked out a ring for her so it would be really sad to hurt his feelings over the size of the rock. I think she should learn to love it and maybe upgrade on an anniversary.

    Post # 25
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    i voted yes and only because your e-ring is only a symbol of the commitment youre making it doesnt reflect the love you have for one another… but it does effect your daily life since this is a ring that will be worn every single day on your hand and you should be happy and proud of it. But before making any changes always discuss it with your Fiance first

    Side Note: It truly annoys me  when people say its superficial to want a bigger diamond because honestly everyone likes what they like and you cant fault someone for that… its like hair… some people like long hair and some like short you cant fault someone for one or the other so to say someone is superficial for wanting a bigger stone is very judgemental there could be many reasons why she wants a bigger diamond and if the reason is to only “impress” people then so what thats between her and her FI  and not for any of us to judge

    Post # 26
    3306 posts
    Sugar bee

    I vote to change it but after some times has passed and into a bridal set of some sort- I feel very bad for her fiance.

    Post # 27
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I’m in the position of pretty much hating my e-ring.  The one redeeming factor is the stone – it’s my great grandmother’s and smallish.  FI apparently thought it looked TOO small and got a halo.  I hate halos.  I told him the original ring my GG had was too tall and gaudy (a .5 carat solitaire.)  The one he got was even taller (and it catches on stuff all the time.)  

    I think he only recently got my theory on jewelry.  He got me an 18k gold and emerald necklace.  His cat ate half the chain when Fiance left the bathroom door open one night.  We went in to the place he bought it to see about getting the chain replaced.  The cheapest chain was over $180.  I said that I can’t afford to spend that much on jewelry if our cat is gonna eat it.  His face fell so much.  He spent more than twice on my ring than any of the rings I LIKED cost, and that’s before the center stone was incorporated.

    I won’t try to get the ring replaced until I’m pregnant or some significant anniversary.  Then maybe, I can get the little, delicate tsavorite ring I wanted. 

    Post # 28
    2355 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    Yeah my ring would have to be really FUGLY to hurt my Fiance by replacing it. I know how much thought and love he had when buying it and it won’t be worth replacing just because it didn’t suit my style.

    Luckily he did a great job cause I LOVE mine! But I agree with

    View original reply
    armychica06: she should have just give it a fair trial and then change it into something practical like a bridal set.

    Post # 29
    4753 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    No, UNLESS he explicitly asks…

    The topic ‘Is it ever okay to take back a ring (that you hate)?’ is closed to new replies.

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