Post # 1
If your friend is okay with be called/referred to by a racial term, would you feel comfortable using that term? I ask this because in a similar thread, a Bee posted that her (African-American) friends refer to themselves as Oreos, and she does as well.
What do you think? Are we giving racial terms power by not using them or are we simply acknowledging the hate and pain that come with such terms. Does it depend on the situation or the context in which it is used? Is it okay to use a racial term if you belong to that racial group? Does it matter?
Post # 3
@LBeeLove: I think its so highly subjective and personal. If it is OK with your circle of friends and the use is not in a negative, condescending manor I think its ok.
There are just too many rules about it to list.
Post # 4
I am way too majority (white, middle-class female) to call anyone by any slur! Not even with their express permission!
Post # 5
If you belong to the group, or you’re among those that are comfortable with it, it’s okay. Otherwise, no.
Post # 6
@LBeeLove: i never call jews names. i joke that we are cheap, but maybe the better word is frugal 😛
Post # 7
I think if you’re an accepted part of a minority group, and you joke with your friends about calling each other a name, it can be sort of okay. But really, there are some words I wish would just disappear from the lexicon.
Post # 8
@peachacid: I’m curious, because someone else mentioned the same thing about a label that I use to identify myself…
Post # 9
@LBeeLove: Oreos is not racist – it almost seems affectionate, at least in the way that they use it. Similar to the way that my fiance and I refer to our best man as a ‘wog’ – he’s Greek, my fiance is Australian, and I’m Malaysian. Like we’ll be waiting for him for lunch or something, and as he gets closer my fiance will say something like “Here comes the wog” just for a laugh. But they’re best friends; we’d know not to call anyone a wog if we weren’t close to them like that or anything.
On a similar note, I like making Asian jokes. I also love the shock factor it creates when I tell Asian jokes to people who aren’t Asian… like “How do you blindfold an Asian?” – “With a shoelace!” It actually cracks me up when they look on in shock and then realise it’s ok if they laugh, because it is. And I think it’s a great joke!
Having said that, I would still laugh if someone who wasn’t Asian told me that joke, but that’s just the kind of person I am and I know not everyone is like me. I’m generally pretty easygoing.
Of course you have blatant racism, insults and the like – my dad is a parking inspector (tough digs, right) and he puts up with crap all the time, like people calling him a Chinese c*nt or whatever when he tickets them. That’s racism.
Post # 10
Not really. I do make some jokes about my own heritage, but not about others
Post # 11
I mean, I’m not gunna lie I’ve heard good friends or couples use them in jest. My brothers HS group literally consisted of a few white guys, a few Hispanic guys, an Asian guy, a black guy and an Indian guy. They always used to tease each other.
Post # 12
Oh yea. The dynamic of my 3 best friends
KMF is Irish
CC is Puerto Rican/Black
AD is Chinese
Do you have ANY idea how NON PC our get-togethers are? Jesus we’d be shunned from the community if you heard the racial ribbing we gave each other when we do our movie nights together. Seriously – if anyone recorded our nights out….we would NEVER be able to run for office.
Post # 13
@LBeeLove: I personally dont like it and wouldnt call anyone by a racial slur. I’m african american and I hate when other african americans call each other the n word. As to the orea statement you said, I have been called an oreo before but didnt like (meaning black on the outside, white on the inside…so bascially your not really black becasue you act white…thats what I been told anyways) I have no issuse if people use it amongst themselves and are comfortable but I really dont like it
Post # 14
@ksus07: But when do we draw the line between joking and being racist? Does it come down to intent?
Post # 15
I don’t think there should be any exceptions.
A rapper dropping the N word is celebrated, friends use it as an endearing term. But someone else could use it and be basically stoned.
Everyone stop. It shouldn’t ever be ok, if it is, then it’s hypocritical.
Post # 16
This is what I told the Bee from the other thread and I think it explains why that term can be construed as racist or at best innappropriate.
I think you’re analyzing this from a micro perspective, and I am looking at it from more of a macro perspective. Sure, Oreo is just a word, but I wonder why your friends refer to themselves in such a way? As a Black woman, I think the word is tacky. Speaking well, being educated, and having a diverse group of friends (how the word came to be in the first place) is something to be proud of, and something to recognize. Calling a Black woman an Oreo basically says that because you do not conform to the stereotypical way society views Black women (i.e, illiterate and ghetto), you are trying to be White, because in this country White is the norm and the standard to which we all should compare ourselves and live up to. Something about that doesn’t sit well with me. Perhaps you do not understand how the term is generally percieved by African-American people, such as @Bunni0929 and myself. It’s not a term of endearment. It’s an insult.