(Closed) Is it EVER okay to use a racial term?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Would you refer to someone by a racial term if they were okay with it?

    Yes

    No

    Depends on the situation (Explanation below)

  • Post # 47
    Member
    8021 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I have some mixed race friends who refer to themselves by some HILARIOUS (but racist) names.  I would never use the terms myself- but they think it is funny and i guess they have the right to poke fun at themselves.

    Post # 48
    Member
    6516 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @LBeeLove:  i never think its ok. Im white, and im not okay when i hear (usually guys) throwinf around “cracker” or “whiteboy/girl”

    I am not okay with my friends that are African American/Haitian/Caribbean throwing around the “N” word amongst theselves. If I were them, and I was called that by another person of the same race, I would be upset. Its a word that was so demeaning back in the day and its not okay

    Post # 49
    Member
    589 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Scottish Rite Cathedral (New Castle, PA)

    @LBeeLove:  I don’t use racial slurs or tell racist (or sexist or any other -ist jokes). I am biracial, grew up in a very caucasion town (I was the only person in my graduating class that wasn’t caucasion) and am also in an interracial relationship so I have heard a lot of them. On top of that, I could pass for any number of races so I’ve heard slurs that don’t even apply to me! There are also those that would prefer to think of me as a tan caucasion and in that scenario I have heard many offensive things because they don’t feel the need to sensor themselves, since everyone around is caucasion and won’t be offended. I have heard the worst of things in that scenario. Racism is alive and well, at least in my neck of the woods so I don’t do anything that could in any way further it. 

    I think part of the misunderstanding comes from that people think “racism” purely applies to someone being mean or hateful. But, in fact it is just having the view that the human species can be divided up into races with the same characteristics and that members of those groups should be treated differently than others. Saying that it’s okay for “this” group to use a word is in fact racism itself, you’re saying “that” group should be treated differently and given a different right to the word than another group. Then on top of that, “that” group is perpetuating the racism by using the term to group people together. To be clear, I’m not calling anyone racist that posted along that train of though because the word has a much bigger connotation than it’s true definition, just pointing out that racism is much bigger than just the slurs themselves. 

    Post # 50
    Member
    2452 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @LBeeLove:  I would never use racial slurs and I don’t tell racial jokes. This type of behavior is just not something I participate in. I don’t think it’s appropriate, even if the person at whom it’s directed is not offended.

    If someone makes a joke about their own race and expects me to laugh I might give a weak smile to be polite, but honestly it makes me uncomfortable to be hear those things even coming from a person of the race it is directed at.

    Post # 51
    Member
    3668 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    @LBeeLove:  You pretty much already know my thoughts on this but here it goes again…

    I joke about being trailer/white trash…I also joke about having a ton of hispanic/italian in my family but am super white. When my friends teased me it wax funny and I didn’t mind because there was unspoken permission. The title was never abused or hurtful when used correctly from my friends who were of mixed races. I would NEVER call a friend or stranger by a racial term unless I knew it didn’t bother them AND they enjoyed the title. 

    I have a friend who is lesbian and she loves being teased about being a carpet muncher. In fact that used to be her texting signiture in high school. We would exchange things like, “hey carpet muncher” and, “whats up dick sucker!” These jokes were something we were both comfortable with…However, I am not comfortable with the word bitch or hoe and she is. I do not call her bitch/hoe because I would not want to be called that. She, in return, does not refer to me as bitch but doesn’t mind calling her othr friends by that. 

    Now that same idea runs into my life with my friends with different racial backgrounds. I don’t like the word nigger and won’t use that word to describe people and don’t want to be called that word (it has been said to me before). I however have no issue with the term oreo or chocolate. My first BIG crush often teased that he was my candy bar and therefore I called him my chocolate man. (DH was the first white guy I was interested in for more than a few days, haha) 

    My good friend growing up was mexican and she nicknamed herself beaner baby. She only wanted to be called that by family so I never used that nickname for her.  

    All of these examples were exchanges between good friends who poked fun at stupid titles that didn’t really represent us.

    There is a BIG difference between two friends exchanging mutually accepted greetings and people who use these words to harm. Racially used words are also similar to those teased for being big, skinny, tall, and short. I know people who hate the name stretch and others who embrace that name with their height. I know people who are short and hate being called shorty. I know people who are big and want to be called thick, I know others who hate that word. 

    Edit to Add: In the end we all need to be understanding of others feelings. We also need to understand that the way other people live their lives is none of our business unless someone is being hurt in the process. We can’t control others and can only control ourselves. I believe that you should never do something to others that you wouldn’t want done to you. Each persons standars is different though and we need to understand this as well. 

    There are too many different people in this world and we will never see eye to eye. 

    In the end I think it all depends on who and why. 

     

    Post # 52
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee

    View original reply
    @Payless:  When are you going to understand that you are not allowed to have an opinion on the matter, because you are white.

    (sarcasm)

    Post # 53
    Member
    3668 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    @le-sigh:  I get this joke but don’t enjoy it 🙂 

    I think that is a little unfair because most of my friends and aquatainces appreciate my opnion and thoughts on the subject. I also appreciate theirs 🙂  

    View original reply
    @LBeeLove: opinion isn’t unreasonable and she hasn’t been rude to me about my views. Do we disagree? Sure! Are either of us wrong though? No! 

    Post # 54
    Member
    1218 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @LBeeLove:  I’m white, so even if a friend said it was OK to use a term and used it themselves, I would not use it. However, it’s also not my place to police other people’s vocabulary. If my friends of Greek origin want to call themselves “wogs” then that’s their call, but I’m not going to use it.

    The topic ‘Is it EVER okay to use a racial term?’ is closed to new replies.

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