(Closed) Is it fair to demand that a Bridesmaid say she "loves" a dress?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

No reason to lie. “It’s not the most flattering color on me, but I’m happy to wear whatever you want.”

Post # 4
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your bride needs to take a chill pill.  If a bride picks out the bridesmaid dresses, she needs to accept that not everyone is going to ZOMG LOVEEEEE her choice.  And that’s ok.

Tell her something like, “Its not my style, but for you I would wear an itchy wool and burlap blend!” 

If she keeps bugging you, honestly take a good look at the relationship and think about how much more demanding she could be about things like the shower and bachelorette – she sounds rather high maintenance.

Post # 5
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I wouldn’t tell her you love it if you don’t.  At some point she’s going to have to learn and accept the fact that you can’t please all the people all the time.

I think it’s unrealistic to pick one colour and one style of dress for X number of people and expect them all to look great in it and find it flattering. I’d rather honesty than to be fibbed to, even if only so I could make an extra gesture of appreciation privately to a friend who forked out $$$ for a dress she doesn’t like and won’t wear again.

Post # 6
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If she wanted you to love it, she’d’ve let you pick your own damn dress. The color and style and blah blah blah of her dreams was more important, so you don’t. That’s her call, but then she can’t whine when you don’t LOVE your dress. And seriously… crying? I sincerely hope that that was because her life is so perfect that THIS is her big problem right now haha. 

 

But yeah, you’re right. Lie and say you love it so that she can shut up and stop crying. Easier way out :-X

Post # 7
Member
12621 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t lie to her.  Tell her you’re happy to wear what she wants (you’ve obviously proved this), but that it’s not a color you would have chosen for yourself.  She should be grateful that you bought a dress you really don’t like just to make her happy…

Post # 8
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s really sweet for her to want you to like it, but a little unrealistic.  Sound like you guys do care about each other.

Maybe you can take her shopping with you and try it on for her?  Do you live close enough? 

Or just lie and find a place that does a good spray tan or start tanning, that’ll help a little.  🙂

Post # 9
Member
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

She sounds totally obnoxious.  If she wants everyone to love the dress, she shouldn’t change the decision unilaterally.

Post # 10
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

This bride sounds like a complete basket case.  I think you’re doing the right thing by being honest yet supportive.  You don’t have to love the dress; you just have to love the bride.

Post # 11
Member
696 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I know this is going to be the unpopular opinion but I say there is absolutely no harm in saying “I tried the dress on again and you are right, i do love it!”

Saying you dont love it isnt going to do anything other than give the bride doubts and make her feel guilty for making you wear a dress you dont love and like you said it is all about her, so I say just tell her you love it so that she can have some peace of mind, god knows brides have enough on their plates to worry about.

Post # 12
Member
5983 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Uggghhhhhhhh!

She wants everyone to “Love” their dresses?  Seriously?  If that’s what she wants then she needs to let you all go pick out your own….and is she going to cry unless everyone “Loves” her invitations?  Her venue?  Her menu?  This could get nuts in like, thirty seconds.

What you are dealing with is a volatile and unpredictable thing, if you cave on this issue, get ready for a “Love In” on everything from napkins to chair covers, and if you can live with lying to her for the sake of her happienss, go for it…if not just let her know that as long as the dress is what she loves, then you would just love to wear it for her!

Post # 13
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think it’s totally fair to demand a bridesmaid love the dress . . . if the bridesmaid was actually allowed to pick out the dress. 

Post # 14
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@reallytrying:  I don’t think you need to say you love the dress,  but I think if you can come up with one positive thing to say about the dress to her, it’s nice.

Post # 15
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I agree with you – I’d probably be a little bothered if I felt obligated to lie. But honestly, I’d do it anyway just to smooth things out.  I do think it’s unfair that she didn’t pay the rush fee since it was her decision to make the change, but I’d lie and tell her I loved it.  If you really do mean what you say in your second paragraph, it’s harmless to tell her a white lie.

I’m dying to know what the color is, though!

Post # 16
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

No, I don’t think that’s appropriate. I might ask my BMs to show me a dress they “love” or something for input, but, if I selected it myself, I would just be happy that they didn’t complain to my face.

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