(Closed) Is it healthy to take frequent vacas w/o each other?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: How much vaca time away from spouse is healthy?
    None, you should vaca with each other : (15 votes)
    13 %
    A couple weekends away doing your own thing : (62 votes)
    54 %
    1 week : (7 votes)
    6 %
    2-3 weeks total : (4 votes)
    3 %
    As much time as you want! : (27 votes)
    23 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1649 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2000

    For me personally, I could not imagine taking a full blown vacation without my fiance.  We both work overtime and don’t have much 1-1 time on a normal day.  We’ll go away for a long weekend without each other but that’s about it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I don’t think I’d go on a “vacation” without Darling Husband. Now, if I needed to go to a wedding and he couldn’t go, or see a friend’s baby, or if he needed to go see his family, I think a week or two without the other is reasonable. But I wouldn’t just decide to go vacation in Hawaii without him. Maybe a long weekend?

    Post # 5
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Wow, I feel sad for the people who never experience travel on their own without their spouse.

    My husband gets 2 weeks more vacation than me a year. What is he supposed to do with that, sit around the house? I would hope that everyone’s relationship is healthy enough to want their spouses to travel and experience things outside of just their relationship!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    That said, I know couple who vacation apart and have perfectly healthy relationships. Different strokes for different folks?

    Post # 7
    Member
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @crayfish:  Good point, but it’s not so much that I wouldn’t want him to go. If the opportunity arose and he wanted to, I certainly wouldn’t tell him not to go, and surely would encourage him. I just personally can’t imagine wanting to go on a vacation without him. But we both did extensive traveling before we met/got married.

    Post # 8
    Member
    364 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I try to go on a girls trip every summer with my sister. We’ve been doing it for way longer than MrMojito and I have been together, so it isn’t an issue. I miss him, but I think it’s healthy. I keep trying to get him to take a boys vacation with his buddies, but he says that he inly gets so much time off work, and he’d rather take his vacations with me. Aww. Does make me feel a little guilty though!

    Post # 9
    Member
    3772 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Darling Husband doesn’t like traveling much. I do. I like visiting my family a lot, he’s not a visiting the family type of person… We spend plenty of time together normally and do our own vacations… but if I want to go visit my family/go hang out with some friends for a weekend and he wants to be a homebody… I go without him. He doesn’t mind, and I don’t mind we’re both happy. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I really wouldn’t want to spend more than a weekend or two away from Darling Husband.  I go home maybe a weekend or two a year, but I woudln’t want to have experiences traveling with out my best friend.  We did the LDR, we’ve spent plenty of time experiencing things on our own, that’s why we made big changes so we could be together and share things.   We both go out to dinners/movies with friends without the other, but full blown vacation?  I’d rather spend time and money with Darling Husband. 

     

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    8695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I intend to travel without my Fiance once we are married. My friends and I will always plan a “girls only” trip. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    5273 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    We spend time apart since the hubs travels for work, but because he travels and is away, we spend our vacations together. Unless it is a small weekend trip, as I just took one last weekend with my mom. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    5655 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Darling Husband and I don’t travel without the other.

    ETA: We are both very protective of our marriage AND with 2 kids, if we’re getting time away it’s to invest in “us”.

    We have gone on our own to separate mens/women conferences but If Darling Husband took vacation time to just go do “his own thing” I would be pretty upset & vise versa.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I go away for weekends without my Fiance at least a couple times a year with my girlfriends, and I’d definitely consider going away for a week with a girl friend as well. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, a little time away is healthy, absence makes the heart grow fonder! LOL. I of course miss him like crazy when we are apart, but it just makes the reunion that much sweeter!

    Fiance also goes on guys fishing/camping trips for 5 days at a time in the summer.

    Post # 16
    Member
    280 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I actually LOVE traveling solo. A couple years ago I went to Cape Town by myself for a week and then Fiance met up with me in Jo’burg and we spent another 3 weeks traveling around Southern Africa together. We big travelers so we often travel together, but we have both taken trips with friends or solo. Even when traveling together, it’s sometimes nice to split up during the day and meet back up for dinner. There should really be no limit on traveling without your spouse–either alone or with friends–in my opinion. I don’t think that ALL travel should be done seperately, though. That would put up a red flag for me about incompatability.

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