(Closed) Is it impolite… ?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

A lot of ceremony sites have restrictions on photos during the ceremony. You could always have your attendant request at its start that guests refrain from snapping shots until the end.

Post # 4
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

It’s actually universally impolite to take photos inside a house of worship, so in my opinion there’s no reason NOT to remind guests that photographs are prohibited during the ceremony.

Post # 5
Member
45 posts
Newbee

Thank you for posting about this! I recently attended a wedding and my jaw almost dropped to the floor when I saw half a dozen people literally climb onto the altar to snap photos of the ceremony!!! I just about died. The couple had two photographers and STILL came out with barely any photos that didn’t have other relatives and friends in the background taking photos. CRAZY! I won’t name the church I was in because I was later informed that this was very common in this cultural group. In my opinion, the professional pictures were ruined. That being said, I don’t think it’s rude to ask guests not to take photos – though I would so much rather have some sort of church policy to back my request up rather than play the authority card myself.

Post # 6
Member
7 posts
Newbee

Completely agree! It makes me cringe at weddings when everyone pops up with their camera (or cellphone even!) to snap a quick photo. And that noise digital cameras make as they take the picture is so distracting!  We are having a line in our program that says "the bride and groom politely request that no photographs are to be taken during the ceremony". Hopefully people will get the hint…

Post # 7
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2009

SNMCDOWELL is correct. My church only allows photography from the balcony. My friend who is a minister was married last year. She put a little blurb on the program that said in a very polite way, that it wasn’t appropriate to take pictures… that they would pose for pictures after the ceremony.

You wouldn’t take pictures during a regular mass, right?!! Besides, no one gets a good pictures, anyway.

Post # 8
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

ladyroth + everyone else,

This has me thinking….My venue is not a place of worship (though I personally love it and worship it in my sleep, heh!).

Now, would this still be suitable to do somehow tactfully in the programs….or?

I think it is also distracting and when people crowd the aisles, other people can’t see, etc…And everything else that everyone else has described goes on.

Post # 9
Member
45 posts
Newbee

I think it’s fine to politely ask guests not to take pictures, even if not in a church. At the end of the day, you’re paying thousands of dollars for professional photos of this one special day and don’t want to discard half the shots because of random additions.  Hopefully your guests will understand.

Post # 10
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Most churches only allow nonflash phtography, even by the professional taking them. 

I’m just playing devils advocate here – but asking doens’t always mean it will happen. People bring cameras for a reason, and I know I’ve gone to weddings where I’ve not paid too much arttnetion to the program, unless I’m trying to remember the name of a song or a birdesmaid….I think it’s polite to do it the way Kitty mentioned, but don’t count on everyone seeing it, or absorbing the info.

Great Aunt Ethel isn’t going to want to pay $75 for a 5×7 or 4×6 of your wedding day from your photographer – KWIM?  what if they then wanted to follow you out back after the ceremony to take your photo while yor photog does them? Would you allow that?

Simply, it’s hard to ask everyone to make you the center of attention for the day, and then refuse photos until a certain time or place? Hard to coordinate with 100-20 people at a time, you know?

 

Post # 11
Bee
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2008 - Oceanfront lawn and tent

I’ll play devil’s advocate too… I can’t for the life of me remember where, but I read a bride’s advice after her wedding day that said she had done exactly what you mention- asked guests not to take photos at the church.  The problem was that she ended up hating her photographer’s photos, and really regretted that she didn’t have any other photos from those moments.

I think you should ask yourself if it is more important to you to have professional photos that aren’t ruined by a guest’s flash (and maybe it is!) than to just let the day unfold as it is going to and not try to oversee everything.   If your family and friends are so excited to take a picture of you that they are leaning into the aisle to do it, maybe that’s a cool memory to have too…

Just a thought 🙂 

Post # 12
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2009

We also plan on NOT having guests take pictures during the ceremony.  (We are getting married in a hotel).  We plan to put a note on our programs, as well as maybe someone spreading the word (i.e. the ushers as they sit people).  We’ve been to one too many wedding with flashes going off, and guests getting in the way of the photographer.  

Post # 13
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

my contract with my photographer asked that we keep our guests at least 30 feet away if they wanted to take pictures – allowing them to take pics of us, but giving our photog room to work. we also hosted a flickr account for our guests, which worked out reeeally well, and they did get some good pictures, even from a little further back. 🙂 i’m glad to have both sets now.

Post # 14
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m a wedding photographer, and stuff like this happens all the time. I recommend that you get an experienced photographer that knows how to deal with it, and also understand that there are some things that you just can’t control.

I’ve actually had family members watch me move to a spot, and then snipe it by standing right in front of me!  Or, we will be specifically instructed by a church not to use flash photography, only to have guests do it because no one told them otherwise. And the time we had to wait during the formal photographs for family members to complete their shots before we could get the attention of the subjects…

That said, it is your photographer’s job to be able to work around problems like this. We have notes in our contract about guest photography, but when it comes down to it, stuff like this happens pretty regularly anyway. We can tell the bride and groom all we want before the wedding day, but no one (especially me) wants to reprimand guests about putting their darn camera phone away. We’re used to it, and can generally come out with gorgeous photos despite the distrctions.

Also, cameras in photos can be fun! There’s an award winning photograph of a little girl laying on a cake table (sniping the photographer’s spot…) to get a shot. It is a very cute and tell-tale image. Personally, I love taking photos of people taking photos! It just depends on how you approach it.

You *could* ask your guests to avoid taking photos, but honestly, that’s part of the joy of the day. People love taking photos! And even when you’ve gone through your professional photos, you’ll have tons of fun going through the ones your loved ones have made. Don’t deny them (or you) the fun unless you really have a problem with it.

Post # 15
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I am so glad someone posted about this because i didn’t even realize this could be a problem or issue. I have to agree wtih saltyveruca – i kinda’ love the candid images of people taking pictures in pro pictures. But now I wonder if it is more of a distraction and if it can potentially ruin pro pics. 

My church only allows my photographers to shoot from the balcony and does not allow any flash photography once the ceremony actually begins. I was kinda’ counting on my friends who dabble in photography to catch some images of my fiance’s first look at me coming down the aisle, and of course, of me coming down the aisle. I wouldn’t want THEM in the aisles or anything, but will their picture taking (and possible flash) disrupt the pro pics? 

Post # 16
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I went to a wonderful wedding over the weekend where the couple had a unique solution I loved: near the beginning of the ceremony, the officiant (a friend of the couple) had the couple turn towards the guests for the express purpose of taking pictures of them! It made for a cute, light moment during which everyone laughed and *did* take pictures; then the officiant had the chance to ask that everyone now turn off their cameras and cell phones and turn their full attention to enjoying the moment.

It was quite lovely and worked really well for this particular couple – since most of the guests were very good friends of theirs, the moment of levity was really nice, and then bringing the tone back to seriousness was also appropriate and appreciated. Also, there were still the candid shots of the two of them walking down the aisle (together) because this happened after the processional. Since the wedding was non-religious and in a hotel, this was fine.

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