(Closed) Is it IMproper to NOT invite the officiant to my rehearsal dinner?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

This is not done where I am from. It seems a little silly to me as they are in a way a vendor. I would only extend an invite if I was someone I knew very well as in they were my pastor and I felt comfortable having them there. But for me, the rehearsal dinner is a DINNER with your party and friends and family. Last time I checked, going over what is going to happen the next day is discussed at the rehearsal, not while people are trying to eat and have a good time.

Post # 18
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

No, he does this probably every weekend, and I’m sure does not expected to come to any dinner, be it the rehearsal dinner or reception.  If you feel especially close to him, yes.  But if you hired him like any other vendor, no need – – and I’m sure (based on what my hired officiant has said) – he doesn’t expect, nor will he accept an invitation.

Post # 19
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

HOWEVER I should have also stated that my “rehearsal dinner” is in an entirely different timeslot than the actual rehearsal, so he won’t be attending the rehearsal and then excluded….either way, I assume you’re paying him and he doesn’t expect more than payment.

Post # 20
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Interesting convo. My officiant is our pastor so he’s def invited. But with “for hire” clergy, he would most likely decline since he doesn’t know you well either.  I’d extend the invite to be polite but def no spouse/date.

Post # 21
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Just a thought, but inviting him may be a nice way to say “thank you.”

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