Post # 1
I am having a relatively small wedding (~40 people) at a botanical garden/conservatory nearby. My fiance and I want a more relaxed wedding. I almost never wear dresses, and I would rather just wear a more simple white knee length/tea length dress. When I told my mother and female relatives, the push back was fierce, almost comical if it wasn’t true. :/ I was told that I need to be considerate of how my decision impacts other people, and how if I wear a shorter dress, they can’t wear a longer dress. I was told that I need to think more about other people. I stated that I don’t care what other people wear, and they can truly wear whatever they wish. However, that did not help. I am pretty dumbfounded that this is over a dress…
I assume that they are just being unreasonable, however I would appreciate any thoughts on this. Thanks! 🙂
Post # 2
Of course it is not ‘inconsiderate’ .If you wish to wear a casual wedding dress to your casual wedding, then that not only makes perfect sense, but is, in any case, your choice.
Just keep repeating that yes, that is what you are going to wear, and that guests can wear exactly what they wish, with your total goodwill.
If it keeps on, just say, pleasantly and lightly, that there is nothing more to say and change the subject.
, meupatdoes1226 :
Post # 3
Wear a bathing suit and “make” everyone come nude, since your hemline apparently has magical powers.
Seriously, I have no idea where 90% of this stuff comes from. Wear whatever you like and be gorgeous in it!
Post # 4
You convey the formality of the occassion to your guests through the time of the event, invitation, and even word of mouth if necessary. If you have a 4:30 ceremony, for example, people may expect a less formal wedding than they would with a 6/6:30 ceremony.
Plan what feels right for you. Does your mother want to wear a long gown? Is she paying for the wedding?
Post # 5
… How does you wearing a short dress mean they can’t wear a long one?
Length doesn’t even dictate formality necessarily. If you’re getting married outside in a garden, no one should be dressed super formally. So a long sun dress or a short cocktail dress is equally fine. I got married wearing a knee length dress (it was a little longer on me because I’m short af). 3 of my 4 best friends who would have been bridesmaids if we had a bridal party wore long dresses. My mom wore a long dress. And out of all of them, my short dress was the most formal.
Post # 6
It’s your wedding, wear what you want! Tea length wedding dresses are a thing because people choose them and wear them! I find a lot of what the MOB/MIL’s say are old-fashioned rules that no one follows anymore. They had their wedding, now it’s your turn!
Post # 7
Wear what you want. I don’t know why weddings make people so crazy lol. You’re definitely not being inconsiderate
Post # 8
My friend wore a tea length dress and I saw someone with a long dress. It worked…I say wear what you want.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2018 - Melbourne, Australia
Pffft, you wear what you want to wear! It doesn’t matter if you wear a tea length dress and some guests are in a full length dress.
I am not much of a dress girl either, and I definitely didn’t want a long dress, so the dress I had made for my wedding was slightly shorter than tea length and simple in design. I got so many compliments on my dress. It was very “me”, and it felt right.
Wear what you want to wear! It’s your special day 🙂
Post # 10
Utterly absurd. How in the world would anyone even know what you’re wearing? Are they supposed to show up in robes, carrying two dresses, and shimmy into whichever one matches yours once you start down the aisle? Stop telling these crazy people your plans.
Post # 11
i’m sorry , what? Oh of course! I forgot about the evil bride magic that causes all dresses within a 100 foot radius of a bride’s dress to not cut off the feet of the wearer if the exceed the length of the bride’s dress.
Your family and friends are ridiculous. I am offended by the stupidity of thier reaction. A full length dress isn’t even practical for an outdoor event, it would touch the ground an get dirty.
Post # 12
That’s stupid. Wear the tea-length dress. You don’t even have to tell them, then they’ll wear whatever they want too. Problem solved!
Post # 13
I don’t think a tea length dress is casual. Audrey Hepburn wore one! Thst sounds like an outdated or made up rule about the guests wearing long dresses
Post # 14
Pfft you are the bride, wear whatever you want
Post # 15
Traditionally, they happen to be right, but for the wrong reason. Formality is dictated by the wedding itself. If a wedding isn’t black tie, except for the bride most properly guests, even the mothers, aren’t properly in gowns. Of course you wouldn’t know it these days.
Hems don’t strictly determine formality, either. A tea length dress can theoretically be formal and a long cotton dress can be very casual.
But if they are upset it’s not black tie then that’s too bad.