(Closed) I hate to hurt her feelings but….

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t say anything.  If she brings it up with you, tell her you had limited space for the party.  She knows she isn’t in the loop anymore, so I don’t think you need to point it out to her.

On a side note, you were in her wedding 3 years agao and now her marriage of 1.5 years is ending?  I’m confused… are those two different marriages?

Post # 4
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

@Reign14:  Would you feel comfortable asking her to be involved in some other, non-bridesmaid way (i.e. flower attendant, guest book attendant, etc.?) Or do you think she would be insulted/feel that you don’t want her involved in that kind of capacity either?

Post # 6
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Reign14:  Okay… sorry, I was just so confused about that part!

Post # 7
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I wouldn’t mention it, and I would NOT say the reason you didn’t invite her was bc of her divorce. It’s an excuse, and a crappy one that will probably make her feel worse. T is probably well aware of the fact that you have drifted.

Post # 8
Member
2711 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

 I’m with @Beckster329:.  I wouldn’t say anything unless she brings it up.  It’s kind of rude to point out why someone isn’t included.  And don’t feel bad about not including her.  Relationships naturally drift apart and I’m sure she understands, especially if you don’t talk that much any more.

Post # 9
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think she knows that she wasn’t invited, she complimented your photo and you should just not worry about it. She obviously knows she will not be in your wedding. She is someone who has had and planned a wedding before, so she probably understands. I doubt she would question you. It is probably bothering you more than it is her.

Post # 11
Member
12976 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t say anything to her.  It doesn’t seem like she’s actually said anything other than the facebook comment (unless I’m missing it?).  She probably already gets it.  I wouldn’t use her divorce as your justification for not inviting her, if you do bring it up.  Just tell her it was a small party, you were limited by the number, and you picked your closest friends that you have a consistent relationship with.

Post # 12
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I wouldn’t bring it up unless she ask and I would just be honest and tell her that you don’t feel you all are as close as you once were.  Seems to me that you guys have grown apart and you shouldn’t feel obligated to invite her due to how your friendship was in the past.

Post # 13
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@thenuggetbride:  +1

Also, you didn’t tell her about your engagement, she had to find out through facebook, so I’m sure she doesn’t feel that close to you either and would not expect to be in your wedding.

Post # 16
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Reign14:  To be honest, if she asked A and C and not me, I’d probably be a little hurt. Simply b/c we always do things as a 4-some. 


Maybe that’s why she asked you to be in hers, not because she felt close to you but because she didn’t want to hurt your feelings.  She might be relieved you didn’t ask her.  I wouldn’t bring it up… it would probably make for a really awkward conversation… and if she really doesn’t care it just makes you sound full of yourself.

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