Post # 1
OK – I have been dating my man for 5 months. We have been living together for about 2 of them. He tells me that I am unique and he is so lucky that he met me. He says I am the most important person in the world to him and the closest person to him. He and I both say ‘i love you’ to each other – because we do. We want the same things in life – no kids, fabulous travel, we’re both analytical/researchers, both atheists. He has met my family and they love him. He takes care of me when I’m sick and always does what I need of him. We have talked about our future together once I finish my masters – both of our future plans include each other. We already know when I move back after finishing school we’re getting one place together – and we have done some web searching on decent 1 bdrms. He even told me that if I moved to a different city other than the one he lives in he would find a way to follow me there. Last night he made me a meal and said this:
“This meal has a story behind it – my uncle made it for my aunt, my dad made it for my mom, and now I’m making it for you. I love you.”
I’m so confsued!!!!!!!!!!! Is that an indirect proposal, a promise? I know he loves me already because he’s said it before many times – is this his way of telling me he is going to propose any time soon or does it just mean he really loves me and still wants to see where we can go – because after only 5 months I guess that’s what it means but why would he bring up the whole history of the meals’ marriage tradition with me if it hadn’t at least crossed his mind. We’ve been indidrectly talking about marriage a lot lately like him sayin he will get life insurance once he’s married, and I told him I want to be by the time I’m 25. He always tells me about his friend at work and his friend’s wife he’s been hanging out with them a lot more lately and he wants us to hang out with them together. His sister recently had a baby with her husband and he mentnioned that in his family all the cousins are at marriage age – I am so damn confused whether or not this man intends to marry me – it seems like he does but it is still early and so my big question is – How long do you think I’ll have to wait before getting that ring on my finger!!!
Post # 3
Normally, I would say that for someone your age, 5 months is way too soon to discuss marriage and that it could freak out your partner. But, the two of you seem to be moving pretty fast. So if you feel comfortable at this stage in your relationship, you should bring up marriage and have “the marriage discussion.” It is always good to make sure you are on the same page.
Post # 4
My FI proposed on our one year anniversary. All statistics show it is BESt to wait at least one year, because before that you are still in the ‘honeymoon’ phase where everything is perfect. From 6months -a year the SO usually shows more of themselves to you. So I’d wait it out a little longer.
Post # 5
What are you confused about? He seems to really like you and wants to get married one day. Your boyfriend is the least confusing male I’ve ever heard of. Try to enjoy the cute little courtship thing that’s going on. Don’t kill all that fun romance with engagement anxiety. You’re too young to get caught up in whether or not he’s going to propose soon. And you’ve been dating for less than an MLB season.
BTW, I’m telling all my single friends about the meal line. Even if untrue, that’s totally golden.
Post # 6
I think he’s making it clear that he sees a future with you, but I do think it’s a little too soon to be expecting a proposal. I know you seem perfect in every way for each other, but what’s the rush to get the ring? Enjoy each other first…you have the rest of your lives to spend together, and when he DOES propose, it will be a very fun surprise! So sit back and enjoy the ride until it happens!
Post # 7
Uh, why didn’t you just sweetly ask “what do you mean by that honey?” I mean, serioiusly, you are so super close, but you didn’t ask him to elaborate ? What did you do? Just smile and start eating?
Post # 8
I actually got really nervous and didn’t know what to say because it was so sweet and unexpected that the response was:
“They’re enchiladas of love!! hahahahahha”
Albeit the answer of a retard…that’s pretty much what happened….
Post # 9
I think five months is way too soon. As a PP said, that is still during the honeymoon phase, and it really takes longer to have a clear idea of whether you would want to marry him. Why all the hurry to get married?
Post # 10
I don’t think you should be expecting a proposal yet. Indirect marriage talk isn’t enough to indicate it’s coming right away. I think just enjoy your relationship and the fact that he clearly loves you very much and sees a future with you without worrying yourself about a proposal right now.
Post # 11
For the record OP, FI and I knew “right away” as soon as you did. The difference is, we’re in our 30’s. And he still didn’t end up proposing until our one year anniversary. Hang in and enjoy the relationship for what it is right now ! “Enchiladas of love” lol…
You can always bring it up now. “So how come the dinner was passed down?” or “what did you mean the other night honey?”
Post # 12
I agree with Kittyachi just enjoy this stage of the relationship and relish in the fact that you have a good relationship thats growing day by day. Wait at least a year, I’m saying slow things down, but just enjoy every moment and take this time to know each other and grow together.
Post # 13
I think it would be an okay idea to discuss your views on marriage, but I also think you are rushing into this way too fast. The “honeymoon stage” is not a myth. It is just one stage of many in a relationship, and too many people jump right in and think that the feelings they get during that time will define their lives together. It is really hard to love someone for who they are when you don’t yet have the full picture of who they are.
I think a lot of people think they “just know” — but how many actually end up getting or staying married? The truth is that it takes time to know someone, to understand your feelings for them and their feelings for you, and to see your relationship for what it really is. I absolutely am NOT saying that you are incorrect for how you are feeling, I think you are genuine but I think your proposal hopes are also a bit preconceived. This point in a relationship is something you should really relish and enjoy, rather than worry about if/when/how a proposal is going to come. Try to take it a day at a time and be happy with what you have now. If you two are really fit for marriage, it will come when you are both ready.
Post # 14
woah take a step back there sister. I think your man is just trying to convey that he loves and cares about you and won’t be headed out the door the next day. That doesn’t mean that he is ready to don a tux and say I do. Take a deep breath, and just enjoy the relationship. . . you have plenty of time to get to the marriage part
Post # 15
I’m a firm believer that good communication should be one of your biggest priorities as a couple. Now that you’ve been together for several months, and it seems like you have a good relationship started, marriage talk is bound to come up. But, that doesn’t mean he’s ready to propose and get married.
The next time something comes up, ask him what he means by those statements — does he really see your relationship as one that he could potentially see heading towards marriage, what are his views/hopes for getting married, and if he has any concerns.
I would let him bring it up so it doesn’t sound like you’re pressuring him. But, share your thoughts too!! Make sure he knows your expectations. He needs to make this decision with you. Also be really cautious about how much you bring up marriage. It can very quickly overwhelm a guy who’s not ready, and it can lead to tension… trust me haha. Good luck!! 🙂
Post # 16
Calm down. You’ve got a man who loves you and is indicating he is very serious about you. ENJOY! You are both young, you don’t have children, and you have huge life decisions still facing you. Relax. Enjoy. I met FI when I was 21 and in college, and we waited to get engaged until the day I graduated from law school (some five years later). It was a good thing. It allowed us to do the things we needed to do for our careers while giving our relationship time to mature and grow from the honeymoon to the partnership we share now.
Things are good for you right now. Don’t mess it up by stressing. Just enjoy.