Post # 1
Maybe it’s just me, but sometimes I feel like I am falling behind in life. Thanks to Facebook, I get to see all my fellow high school graduates getting married, buying houses, getting their first pets, and having babies.
I’m 25, and am nearly a year away from being married (will be 26 when I do). We have no savings, so I’ve worked out a 3-year plan to save for a down-payment on a home. But I’ll be 29 at that point – and that’s assuming everything works to plan and we find a home right away. I refuse to have a baby until we’ve got a home of our own since raising a baby in an apartment just does not feel right to me. I want my kids to have a back yard and I’ve lived in apartments with kids/babies on our floor and it’s hell lol.
Does anyone else feel like they’re falling behind or is it just me? 😛
Post # 3
@jessmicas: Stop comparing yourself to people. People only post what they want you to see. It doesn’t paint the whole truth.
26 isn’t old to be getting married. I’ll be 28 most likely when it happens for me.
Buying a house at 29 – what’s wrong with that?
I am doing quite well for myself and don’t yet own a house. I’m 4 years into my (pretty well paying) career (after I finished university). Only 2 years ago I got out of debt. My best friend has a masters degree and still lives at home with her dad. She hasn’t even got a boyfriend. ONE girl in my circle of friends has a child. Of course I know people who have kids, but out of my group not many do. I’m 27 by the way. Most of my friends are either going back to university because they can’t find jobs w. their first degrees or are at crap jobs that have nothing to do w. their degrees. My sister has a masters and is struggling to find any kind of employment period – let alone related to her degree.
So basically yeah I can relate to not being EXACTLY where you want to be, but it also sounds like you’re not exactly behind the average 25-30 year old. So many people are moving back in with their parents etc. It’s ok to feel the way you do, but at least you have a plan that seems like it has a good chance of succeeding.
Post # 4
I don’t feel behind in life, but I’m sure lots of people do. I wouldn’t worry about it, everyone does their life at their own pace. And keep in mind people post how wonderful and perfect their lives are on facebook. You never know the opportunities some other people have. You’re doing just fine for your age. You’re on track to own a house and getting married.
Don’t rush life… Once you have all those things you’ll think; Aw man, remember when I had the freedom, remember when I didn’t have to pay this damn property tax, or fix this leak, or remember when I wasn’t picking up the dogs poop, or cleaning baby puke.
Post # 5
I got married when I was 28, house–about a week ago at 29. We are expecting our baby in February. Things happen at different times for everyone. You shouldn’t compare yourself to others. Focus on your own timeline. 🙂
Post # 6
If you feel behind, then I am wayyyyyyyyyyyyy behind.
34 and about to get married (for the first time) in 5 weeks. No kids. Don’t own a home.
But I’ve had some amazing life experiences and I have a great job that I love that pays well. I made some big mistakes in my 20s that I had to pay for so that put me behind. However, I’m not upset about it. Not being married so young gave me a lot of life lessons and opportunities to travel and move across country, something that would not have happened if I married young or had children in my 20s or if I bought a house then as well.
Quit focusing on a timeline, just sets you up to be disappointed. I threw away my mental timeline right before I turned 30 when I realized that house, kids and husband wasn’t checked off on my “things to do before 30” mental list.
Post # 7
I sometimes feel like that. More so when I was around 27/28 But comparing can be damaging so I try to stop. It’s hard! I’m 30, got married a few months back at 29. My Darling Husband bought a house right before we met so that’s done. And we just got pregnant. My friends are on baby #3 or #4! This was not my ideal timing, but I like to think that God need a little more time to work on me and Darling Husband before we were ready for each other. If we would have met earlier in our lives or didn’t have our life experience then we wouldn’t have gotten along. We both have changed A LOT since 24/25. So yeah, I wish we met in Jr. High or something 🙂 , but it wouldn’t have been the same. And now that everything seems to be falling into place, it seems perfect, even though it wasn’t on my timeline. Hang in there, it only gets better! 🙂
Post # 8
You all are absolutely right! I need to stop comparing myself to everyone else. I sound like I am miserable, but I am actually very happy with my Fiance. I guess I just get frustrated because our current apartment is not ideal – and I wish we had more privacy, in our own home. Up until recently I was not even a little bit interested in having kids, but the more I read posts on theBee, I am getting a little excited to have a little family of my own!
@Peony007: I especially appreciate your comments! My poor Fi is 33, and his biological clock (I don’t think men really have one?) is ticking. He pesters me about having kids, while still holding strong to his ideas of waiting until we’re married to have sex… lol Yeah, try to figure that one out. This may be a contributing factor in how I feel like I’m falling behind. I also think that God must have had to work on us a little longer too. Judging by my Fi’s past – and what I have heard of his past relationships, we never would have gotte together. We were too different. Now we’re on the same page and loving it!
THANK YOU. I know I will still struggle with this in the future, but I am goin to try very hard to be content with what I have now 🙂
Post # 9
Please take Facebook with a pinch of salt duck, people only put up what they want people to see – I also find people tell white lies often. You’re doing just fine, don’t worry.
Post # 10
@jessmicas: Stop comparing yourself! I’m sure there are FB friends of yours who are looking at your profile and saying to themselves “I wish I were planning a wedding like her…I feel so behind”. I think 29 is an awesome age to buy a house and then you can have a baby in your early thirties if you choose to wait until you have the house. We bought our house two year ago (I was 25) but I didn’t get married until a month ago (age 27) and we will hopefully have a LO before age 30. Everybody does things at different ages, some in different orders etc. Just enjoy the here and now!! 🙂
Post # 11
Don’t order your life like a list !
You can have babies just fine in appartments and don’t worry about what others do..they are just folloiwing the masses 😉 Love and live your life unique!
Post # 12
I used to think “wooow what luck everybody has! why not me?” until somebody asked me “are u sure they’re not lying or exaggerating?”
and fb def gives people the platform to lie to themselves and think life is sooo dandy and all about likes and comments.
You’re doing just fine. Im a 25 yr old undergrad student…I should be in the 2nd year of my career but whatever thats llife!
Post # 13
I agree. Take everything that’s said on fb with a pinch of salt. I see a girl with a young baby going on about how wonderful things are on fb but when I asked her sister how things are goingshe told me that she is struggling. That’s just one example!
Im 33 and thought I’d never meet my other half. In the mean time I decided to buy a house… A good investment, right?! Wrong- I now have a house that’s worth a lot less than I paid and my other half had the same idea so between us we are in massive debt that will take 30 years at least to get out of! All the others who didn’t rush are in a better position but that’s life. At least now I have a home, an amazing man, 2 cats and hopefully a baby soon enough.Evertythinngg happen when it’s supposed to. Allthose years single, though tough were great too cos I had a fab time travellingtithe world. Delighted I did that!
Post # 14
I now know you can’t plan life and you can’t compare your life to others.
In my plan I would be buying a house at 25, graduating from my Master’s program at 24, living the life and enjoying dating until finding the one (as soon as possible, lol). Then life happened.
I met “the one” at 23. I won’t be receiving my Master’s until 26. I am nowhere near a home of my own. Oh yeah, the baby came at 25 and the wedding not until almost 26. Life has no order.
Post # 15
I can relate…I’m 25 too and I’ve just completed my Master’s degree with no boyfriend in sight, haha. Actually, I’ve never had a boyfriend (Gasp, what am I doing on Weddingbee then !? Haha).
Most of my friends are attached or some already married. I do worry that I’d never meet someone, but then again I believe that everything has its time.
Post # 16
@miss forever: You’ll get there! I was in the same position for a long time!