(Closed) Is it just me?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 16
11519 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

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Steph77:  isn’t family great

Post # 18
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Wow, this is so unbelievably rude.  I honeslty think it’s rude she pulled out in the first place, after agreeing to the price of the room/suite, but her actions following are beyond rude and inconsiderate.

To avoid drama and stress, I wouldn’t bother “winning” this one, since you and your Fi seem on the same page that this is unacceptable.  Just remember how she operates when planning family events in the future, and don’t give her the benefit of the doubt next time.

Your wedding day will be amazing.  Don’t let the inconsiderate actions of another person bring you down or cast a shadow on your planning.  

Post # 19
3064 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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Steph77:  Yeah no I’ve never heard of paying for Bridesmaid or Best Man accomodations. I would maybe ask her to compromise and say just stay in the suite but have her chip in what she was paying at the other hotel? You have to pay either way atleast this way she can kick in a little. I think thats probably the best you’ll get out of her

Totally rude of her, IMO

Post # 20
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013


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Boxerlover24:‘s idea is actually a really good one! It will cut down on what you’re going to be out, and if she plans on using teh childcare anyways it makes sense. I would still be pissed that she was essentially taking advantage of you, but at least this way you’re not completely out financially.

Post # 21
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

So, I’m just going to pay the devil’s advocate because you (and now we) know the details about the costs of accommodations and the babysitter, but is it at all possible that your Future Sister-In-Law doesn’t know these details and is making the following assumptions?:

– That you paid for a block of rooms–ie, you would be paying for that suite even if she hadn’t agreed to stay there in the first place and not cancelled so late. 

– That the babysitting is by the hour, not by child, so again, you’re still paying a basic rate and it doesn’t matter if her kids are included. 

I just mention that because sometimes we forget that we have a lot more information than others and when not privileged to these types of things, other people can ask some really stupid questions. 

But I guess the other half of it is…With family, you really do have to pick your battles. And if this is going to be an ongoing problem for Fiance and Future Mother-In-Law and the whole 9 yards, then what I would do, honestly, is take control of the situation, call up Future Sister-In-Law and say, “Surprise! We’d really like you to be at the wedding and so we’re going to cover the cost of the suite for you and the kids.” Because it sounds like you’re not so much pissed off at the money (which isn’t fun, but you could have afforded it anyway, I presume); you’re pissed off at her lack of consideration (and yeah, it’s rude). So paying for the room avoids the drama with Fiance and Future Mother-In-Law AND it also makes YOUR consideration of HER much more explicit, making her lack of consideration for you more obvious in turn. 

(and if you really, really want to be bitchy, give them the suite for Christmas (or whatever you celebrate) No, don’t do that, but you can smile grinch-like thinking about it)

Post # 22
2875 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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Steph77: your Future Sister-In-Law is a bitch. Not cool at all. Ughhhhh all my sympathies is belong to you.

Post # 25
2514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

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Steph77:  Is their deposit refundable?  If so, I’d strike a deal with them.  They pay the cost of their cheaper accomodations and you pick up the rest of the tab.  That way you aren’t out the full cost of the empty room and they are paying what they originally decided upon.  Then the kids can go to bed in their own room and not have to wake up until morning. 

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