(Closed) Is it just me???? (Long Vent)

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Sounds like she is a wee bit insecure alright. That’s the worst thing about having more than one Bridesmaid or Best Man – it’s so hard to get everyone co-ordinated to go at the same time! Can you arrange a day with plenty of notice to go with her alone to sort out her dress?

Post # 4
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

She definitely sounds a little sensitive! Maybe make a one on one time with her where you and her can go and she can try on a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress while you can show her your dress.

Post # 5
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Hmm, I don’t think either of you are out of line. I would just chalk this up to mixed communication and hectic schedules.

I think it would be nice to make a separate appointment for this bridesmaids, and apologize that she felt left out, but that you’d like to make it up to her. My theory is that being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is difficult. You usually have to wear a dress you don’t like, pay a lot of money for it, among other things. I think it;s best for the bride to sometimes go out of her way to make sure the BMs all feel appreciated for their efforts. I know it seems like this Bridesmaid or Best Man isn’t really trying as hard (believe me, I feel  your pain on this one), but I think it’s definitely better and more productive to try and keep the peace. 

Hope that helps!

Post # 6
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m with Miss Chapstick – I think you’re both reading into things a little too much and it’s starting to be a bit of a miscommunication. Just reassure her that she is a bridesmaid and you’re sorry she felt excluded, and offer to take her to see the dress when she has time.

Post # 7
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Sounds like she’s being a bit sensitive.  Like you said, it happens.  Wedding planning doesn’t just effect the bride and groom.  I really have no advice.  I was met with a lot of resistance and stupid things kept happening behind the scenes with my BMs too (I haven’t even spoken to one of them since the wedding).  I think the best thing, for your own sanity, is to just remain inclusive with the BM’s, treat them all the same and if any of them give you crap, then you know its not because of something you did. 

Post # 8
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Godddd this sucks. I swear, this is the main topic of posts around here. I don’t know why the Bridesmaid or Best Man feel like they have to stress us brides out more than we already are. Don’t worry about that silly girl. It is was really that important to her she would have been there for you!

Post # 10
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I agree Bridesmaid or Best Man are very sensative – especially when it comes to what they are wearing. You handled the situation very apporpriately (in my opinion) and offered her the option to be a part of it. My advice: meet her for coffee or lunch and show her pictures (if you have them). If she is still unhappy offer to set up an appointment for her to try it on (find a time that you both compromise on). If this doesn’t work or if you are met with resistance drop it.

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