Post # 1
Okay so I didn’t really believe people when they told me that during the wedding process, people get very touchy. Here is the situation and bees please be honest and tell me if its just me or is she being irrational.
Three weeks ago, the bridal shop called to let me know that I can pick up me dress. i was so excited to pick it up that i decided that while we were going to do that, the girls could take that opportunity to look at Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses so i told all of them (4 of them) except for Bridemaid C becuase i kept texting and calling and got no answer.
Any who that weekend came up and the day before i finally was able to talk to Bridesmaid C after countless texts and calls. She tell me she has to work til 3. I said okay. So Saturday comes and Bridesmaid C calls around 3:30 saying she just got home from work and wanted to know where we were I told her we were just getting to the place to eat lunch that she should come and she would make it on time. She said no she had to take a shower and it would be too late. I told her just to go mind you the day before i told her to go straight after work. She didnt go and kept texting the whole time saying she was sorry. I said it was okay but she just kept on.
So last week Bridesmaid E was talking to Bridesmaid C and mentioned how gorgeous the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses were. Last Friday Bridesmaid C starts texting me asking if she was still a Bridesmaid or Best Man and telling me that she felt i was excluding her because i picked the dress wihout her, that i didnt bother to tell her about going until the day before (mind you Bridesmaid E said she was going to tell her), that all the girls knew but her and that i knew she was working and still did told them to go, and that i never told her that they were going to look at Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. i told her that i understood why she couldnt go and that it was okay, she said my reaction was out of proportion because i told her that i wasnt going to beg her to go and that she couldve gone if she wanted to but that i understood why she couldnt.
Honestly bees, it bothered me a little that she wasnt there, but i was quickly forgiving when i saw how happy the other girls were when they were looking through dresses and picking them out. so my question is, was it me or is she being irrational?
Post # 3
Sounds like she is a wee bit insecure alright. That’s the worst thing about having more than one Bridesmaid or Best Man – it’s so hard to get everyone co-ordinated to go at the same time! Can you arrange a day with plenty of notice to go with her alone to sort out her dress?
Post # 4
She definitely sounds a little sensitive! Maybe make a one on one time with her where you and her can go and she can try on a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress while you can show her your dress.
Post # 5
Hmm, I don’t think either of you are out of line. I would just chalk this up to mixed communication and hectic schedules.
I think it would be nice to make a separate appointment for this bridesmaids, and apologize that she felt left out, but that you’d like to make it up to her. My theory is that being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is difficult. You usually have to wear a dress you don’t like, pay a lot of money for it, among other things. I think it;s best for the bride to sometimes go out of her way to make sure the BMs all feel appreciated for their efforts. I know it seems like this Bridesmaid or Best Man isn’t really trying as hard (believe me, I feel your pain on this one), but I think it’s definitely better and more productive to try and keep the peace.
Hope that helps!
Post # 6
I’m with Miss Chapstick – I think you’re both reading into things a little too much and it’s starting to be a bit of a miscommunication. Just reassure her that she is a bridesmaid and you’re sorry she felt excluded, and offer to take her to see the dress when she has time.
Post # 7
Sounds like she’s being a bit sensitive. Like you said, it happens. Wedding planning doesn’t just effect the bride and groom. I really have no advice. I was met with a lot of resistance and stupid things kept happening behind the scenes with my BMs too (I haven’t even spoken to one of them since the wedding). I think the best thing, for your own sanity, is to just remain inclusive with the BM’s, treat them all the same and if any of them give you crap, then you know its not because of something you did.
Post # 8
Godddd this sucks. I swear, this is the main topic of posts around here. I don’t know why the Bridesmaid or Best Man feel like they have to stress us brides out more than we already are. Don’t worry about that silly girl. It is was really that important to her she would have been there for you!
Post # 9
Thanks girls. Believe me, i made all the effor for all of them to know and go. the problem with her is that i’ve noticed she goes through these phases where she wants to be in everything and then times when she will just say she’s too busy. i did apologize to her, but sometimes i feel like i always have to cater to her needs, in everything, not only the wedding. like she gets mad if i tell someone else something before i tell her. but when its the other way around, i’m the last to know.
I’m trying not to stress it out, but its like since she starting date her boyfriend, she always asks me what Fi and i did during those months and does the same exac thing. i.e. we went to NY when we started dating, she asked me what trips i went on with Fi and boom, a month later, she plans a trip to NY. Fi and I love basket ball, she hates it. asked me if i go to the games or watch them with Fi, all of a sudden she buys a jersey and is calling me when we’re hang out to watch the game.
Is there a pattern??
Post # 10
I agree Bridesmaid or Best Man are very sensative – especially when it comes to what they are wearing. You handled the situation very apporpriately (in my opinion) and offered her the option to be a part of it. My advice: meet her for coffee or lunch and show her pictures (if you have them). If she is still unhappy offer to set up an appointment for her to try it on (find a time that you both compromise on). If this doesn’t work or if you are met with resistance drop it.