(Closed) Is it just me, or would this annoy anyone else?

posted 4 years ago in Venue
Post # 2
Member
4242 posts
Honey bee

Pretty rude to invite the dad but not his wife.

Its not rude to not invite the daughter, though. 

Post # 3
Member
6864 posts
Busy Beekeeper

If you are inviting the groomsman’s Dad you have to invite his wife as well. I wouldn’t worry about the daughter with whom neither of you is close. 

Post # 4
Member
9290 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

yes, you have to invite both parts of the married couple, but you don’t have to invite grandparents of your friends unless you want to.

it sounds like you should finalize your guest list and agree on everyone invited before sending out Save-The-Date Cards. and make sure the numbers fall into the correct range.

Post # 5
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee

Sending the sister’s address would be mildly annoying to me, but maybe he just figured he’d give you the whole family’s info, rather than going back and forth. If he is recently married, you should recognize his marriage by inviting his partner, since you’re asking him to come recognize yours.

It sounds like the bigger issue is that your invites are over the capacity of your venue, though. That’s a problem for you and your Fiance to solve.

Post # 6
Member
6250 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I think you’re out of line not inviting his wife, and I get why he sent you the sister’s address since it sounds like you’re inviting the whole rest of the family (including grandparents?) I would invite all of them, or just the brothers and dad plus his wife. If the sister doesn’t really know your fiance and lives far away, it’s unlikely that she will come. 

Post # 7
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I think its rude to not invite his wife. I would talk to your Fiance about not inviting the grandparents and making other cuts to your list. 

Post # 8
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

The wife should definitely be included. 

I have no idea why he sent the sister’s address. Just don’t invite her. She’d probably be surprised to get an invitation.

Post # 9
Member
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

It’s incredibly rude to invite only one half of a married couple – if you want the groomsman’s father to come and not be offended, then you need to invite his wife too (regardless of whether you have met her/like her/or whatever).

I can see why the father has also given you his daughter’s address (he may have thought it was an oversight, as you seem to be inviting the rest of the family) but I also don’t think you’re obligated to invite her if your Fiance has no relationship with her.

Post # 10
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee

PP have covered it! You have to invite his wife if you invite him, but you don’t have to invite the daughter. 

Just a word of advice though – Don’t send STD’s to 165 people if you can only have 150 show up. That’s just asking for trouble! Don’t bring on that kind of stress if you can help it.

Post # 11
Member
8963 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

cdl324:  “I was not going to invite her since space is limited. (is this rude?)” — Yes, that would be rude. A married couple is invited as a couple. The sister thing, you’re taking offense when you shouldn’t. If you asked about everyone except her, it would seem like maybe that was an oversight and he was trying to be helpful. If you don’t want to invite her, don’t, but there’s no need to get annoyed or aggravated about it.

Post # 12
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee

Its your day and invite who you both want there. I do agree with the pp who said you need to get on the same page with Fiance about the guest list. While there is high probability some guests will not be able to come, only invite the number you can accomodate. If you invite more, expecting some to say no, it won’t happen. 

I understand why you wouldn’t want to invite the wife, I wouldn’t either. The dad will know people there, his own family so he isn’t alone. I also don’t think married couple automatically get invited together and this is a perfect example, in my opinion. 

Ultimately, talk with your Fiance about it. I would think, since these aren’t people immediately related to your or your Fiance, they could be cut from the guest list seeing that you are over as it it. 

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