(Closed) Is it just me(thank you etiquette)…

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
Member
2249 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with you OP, the card is a bit late, should not be a Christmas card and should be more personalized and mention your gift.  

I would probably still be waiting for a thank you not realizing that was the thank you card … maybe it wasn’t?  

Post # 32
Member
553 posts
Busy bee

Well apparently it is not just you but that doesn’t make you right either. They thanked you. The only thing you should be thinking in return is “you’re welcome”.

Post # 33
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee

At least you got one lol.. I attended a wedding in August for one of my best friends and still have heard nothing. Etiquette really has gone into the toilet, sad to say. 

Post # 34
Member
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I haven’t received a thank you for attending several weddings. It’s not that important to me and its never bothered me. However, after reading this I’ll be sure to send proper thank yous shortly after my wedding.

Post # 35
Member
9384 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

If OP was someone ranting on FB about bad manners, yeah I’d think she’s over the top.

But complaining on a wedding forum about what is clearly bad wedding etiquette?  Makes sense…

Yeah, no mention of a gift and a single line in a Christmas card is rude, bee.  I’d be worried they didn’t get the gift.

Post # 37
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
Cyclebride :  Finding it ‘sad’ that we’ve lost so much etiquette etc is the sort of comment that makes me eye roll at lots of ettiquette posts. It reads like a lot of Bees have a sense of superiority for following a tradition.

Not saying thank you would be rude in my opinion. How somebody chooses to do it is entirely up to them. Doing a card doesn’t show you ‘truly’ care or are thankful any more than somebody saying thank you another way doesn’t care. It can be your chosen way of expressing thanks and that’s fine, but A gift giver who gets hung up over gushing ‘oh wow how wonderful are you’ reply to me sounds like they just want to be told how amazing they are.

My nephew had a birthday and their parents took a photo of the child with their present and sent it to me by WhatsApp saying ‘I love my present Daisy. Thank you.xxx’ and you know what, it’s lovely. He likes his present and they’ve said thank you. I don’t need a hand written card telling me they liked it to understand that he ‘truly’ likes it. 

Then again, I was also brought up doing thank you cards/letters and always found it pointless because we’d see/speak to family at birthdays and Christmas and thank them then / by phone. So a week or so later thanking them again always felt odd and silly.

Post # 38
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Tacky..

From what I read everywhere guests don’t have to attend your wedding and don’t have to give you a gift so putting time into writing down what each person gave and thanking people is important. Slack on cards sends a message that you don’t appreciate the gift/guests/attendence/etc. Sending a Christmas/thank you is slack imo. If they combined and it was a hand written note I would let it slide but man… 

I attended a wedding, flew out there and put a lot of thought into the gift and never even got a thank you card! (this is 1 year + I think now since their wedding) A lot of people give money so I understand putting thank you for your gift or contribution to our life together instead of writing out exacts but if someone gave you a knife set or something.. you should probably mention it.

All that being said.. the point is that they did thank you.. could be worse

Post # 39
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2018

View original reply
DaisyBlossom :  I agree with you that for christmas gifts/birthday/etc that calling or texting/emailing a picture to thank someone is way better in this day and age. Maybe even thanking in person as well. 

What I disagree on is that this is a formal event (even if the bride and groom is non-traditional) so if you’re putting this much time into planning an event (some even years in advance), you should be planning the thank yous as well. The message I get if someone doesn’t send a thank you for a wedding is they decided that thanking the guests that attended and gave gifts don’t mean that much to them. It also makes me think that they think gifts are expected and that they only invited me to get $ or something instead of sharing the moment they start their life together. 

The topic ‘Is it just me(thank you etiquette)…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors