(Closed) Is it less romantic if the bride to be is involved in the e-ring selection?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We picked it out together with several visits to the jewelry store. I loved every second of it. It was great to be picking out something so significant and meaningful together. I got exactly what I wanted, and he felt confident about buying it because it was for sure the “right one.” I highly recommend enjoying the shopping process–it can be a really fun part of establishing yourselves as married partners!

Post # 4
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I guess it really depends on the couple… we picked my ring together, but I didnt tell everyone that.  Some people find it weird, and I just dont want to hear the comments.  But I REALLY enjoyed shopping for the ring together, it was romantic, and fun, and less stressful than worrying if he picked something I wouldn’t like.

The only thing that sucks is knowing he’ll have the ring and waiting, its like you’re expecting a proposal at ANY time, and it’s frustrating lol.  But I wouldn’t change it, gotta take the good with the bad, and the good far outweighed any bad for me.

Another thing, I was worried my bf would get ripped off if he went to go buy a ring alone, men aren’t always that smart when it comes to this stuff, so at least if you go, you can compare and know what’s a good deal, etc.

Post # 5
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee

We went ring browsing a few times together and I am glad that we did.  First of all, he liked a style I really disliked and he didn’t agree with me until I tried it on.  And he really liked the marquise cut which I didn’t like until I tried it on.  Now, I have a ring that I LOVE that was a surprise to me because he used all the knowledge he gathered while we were browsing and purchased the perfect ring. 

Post # 6
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Romance, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

Post # 7
Member
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I picked out my ring. Basically, what R did was tell me that he wanted me to have a ring that I would be proud to wear for the rest of my life, and he doesn’t know jewelry enough to pick that out. So he asked me for a picture of my dream ring, and then he was the go-between for the jeweler and I when any issues arose and for final “approval.” 

I didn’t see the real ring until the actual proposal, though. I don’t think it made any difference – I was so swept up in how romantic the proposal was, I didn’t give a shit about the ring. 

Post # 8
Member
7777 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We picked out my ring together too. Fiance wanted to make sure I had exactly what I wanted. It worked out wonderfully and I have a ring I love and will be proud to wear for the rest of my life. He really surprised me with all the research he did. It was a wonderful bonding experience and our first “major” purchase together.

Post # 9
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Maybe you can find a compromise?  Go try on a few ring styles together to get a feel for what you want, and then let him make the final decision?  Or maybe you can go with your mom or a friend and then they can help “guide” him?

Personally, I was allowed by Fiance to pick my setting; he already had the diamond (it was his grandmother’s) and he had the setting that I liked made by a jeweler.  People always say “FI did such a good job!!!” and while _I_ personally would love to let him take all the credit, he always points out that I picked it.  People don’t really react strangly to that news, but then, they know me and know that I would never have been happy if I hadn’t gotten to pick what I wanted. 

 

Post # 10
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We went together to pick it out. We had it narrowed down to 2 choices…I wanted him to have the final say and not know for sure. I loved them both, and i am so so happy with the one he picked!! Maybe you can do something like that. Just be sure that you would be completely happy no matter which one he would choose 🙂

Post # 11
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Not to be Debbie Downer, but my husband and I picked the ring together, and it wasn’t very romantic. While it was fun to look at rings together (often times with his parents in tow because they’re like that), I found it stressful and embarassing. That was my deal though – not wanting to look too greedy, not wanting to be particular. The other issue was that my husband is notoriously indecisive, so I had to help make decisions every step of the way. Kind of killed the romance.

My two cents? It can be romantic and you are guaranteed to get a ring you love. Just know your personalities – if he’s decisive and you’re excited, go for it!

Post # 12
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think it’s important he knows your likes and dislikes as it is YOUR e-ring that you’ll be wearing for eternity (given you don’t upgrade – haha!). You definitely want to wear something you love and want to show off since he’ll be spending hard earned money on it. He can choose to take your likes and pick something out himself though. That way it can incorporate both ideas. My Fiance had be design some rings at BlueNile so he had an idea what I liked, but ended up designing one of his own and just taking my preferences on cute and style to guide him!

Post # 13
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

I told my (then) boyfriend to get me a proposal ring- I told him to get a really cheap one but he didn’t, he got me an awesomely beautiful ring that I eventually got sized to fit on another finger. We then picked out the engagement ring together. It was great! And now I have 2 rings!!

Post # 14
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@ Ace: I can totally see how it would kill the mood to have parents along. We enjoyed it because it was a secret, too… other than the bees, everyone thinks he just happened to pick the PERFECT ring. 😉

Post # 15
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

yes it is.  it is stressful.

Post # 16
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My Fiance chose my e-ring, but I gave him lots of specific information and examples of what I liked. However, I don’t think it is less romantic for the bride to help choose the ring. I think both ways are fine, depending on the preferences of the couple. Maybe you could try telling him that the most romantic things are the things you do together, and that you’d love this to be one of those things.

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