(Closed) Is it less romantic if the bride to be is involved in the e-ring selection?

posted 10 years ago in Rings
Post # 32
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Like other bees have said, it all depends on the two of you, your feelings, and what we make of it. We did some preliminary shopping locally to get an idea of what we liked, but then decided to go with an out of town jeweler because they offered Canadian diamonds, which we were very interested in. So, when we went to look at the shop in person, we made a whole romantic weekend of it by sightseeing, going for nice meals, visiting with friends, and just enjoying time out of town together with no distractions. The whole weekend was perfect, and we were actually trembling a little when we left the jewelry shop because we were both so excited about the new chapter in our lives that we were about to start!

Post # 33
Member
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My fiance and I looked together at his request.  He openly said, I don’t know anything about jewlelry.  So we researched a great local jewleler, went together, and I gave him choices.  I didn’t want to know exactly what ring I would be getting.  I still wanted an element of surprise.  So I showed him two diamond cuts that I liked.  Princess and Asscher.  And showed him a few different settings that I liked.  The jeweler was great that they would put the loose diamond in the setting for you to actually see what it would look like.  I totally recommend finding a place like that. 

Good luck!

Post # 34
Member
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I totally WANTED to go ring shopping and pick a ring out together and he refused.  I, like you, think the significance of the ring comes from choosing it together, just like you’re choosing to spend your lives together…But I’m not very traditional and clearly, my FH is…So there ya go…

Post # 35
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I dont like surprizes very well… so when we decided we’d like to get engaged i wanted to be involved in the ring decision! and it was a very exciting and romantic opportunity, and its something that i will never forget. then when he knew what my likes where he went and got it on his own then proposed to me when he wanted to.. and i LOVE my ring!

Post # 36
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I picked out my ring in January, and he proposed with it last weekend. 

I’m really picky about jewelry, and he wanted to make sure it was a ring I loved. It worked out really well for both of us. And it’s not like my proposal was any less perfect because I knew was the ring was going to look like.

Post # 37
Member
1937 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We looked online together a few times, but never went into a store.  He handled picking out the ring by himself.  I loved the surprise!

Post # 38
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I picked out my ring at the request of my Fiance.  He knew he wouldn’t have the first clue at what I’d want, and like others have said he wanted me to absolutely love the ring.  While I knew what I was getting, I didn’t actually receive it for nearly five months. 

My sister gave her husband hints about what she absolutely did not want her ring to look like.

Post # 39
Member
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Everyone has diverging viewpoints on what constitutes romance. I can imagine some couples cherishing the experience of picking out the e-ring together; I know my parents enjoyed selecting my mother’s engagement ring that way. It would be fun to share the excitement together.

Personally, I find surprises very meaningful and romantic as a general rule because of the thought and planning that goes into presenting your loved one with a burst of joy when all is revealed, so I felt strongly that I wanted to be surprised. I didn’t give Fiance a single hint about what I wanted, though of course the logical corollary to that is that I had to avoid even having any strong opinions so that I wouldn’t be disappointed. I was worried it would be too much pressure for him to handle, so I briefly acquiesced at one point, “You know it’ll be okay if you propose without a ring and then we pick it out together.” He smiled and changed the subject, and I’m so glad and proud of him that he got the ring without any input from me. It melts my heart to think of him painstakingly selecting such a beautiful ring with me in mind. But that’s just my perspective, as I said, every person has their own preferences regarding romance.

Post # 40
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

For me, I think it would have been less romantic.  I was totally surprised when he proposed and he did an awesome job picking out the ring.  I wouldn’t change that moment for anything.  But, I’ve had a few friends that picked out their rings and LOVED the experience of it all.  So it really depends on you and how you’d feel about it.  

Post # 41
Member
673 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I went into some jewelry stores alone and tried on different styles of rings (halo vs solitaire, round vs princess) to get an idea of what I liked and thought suited my hand. He asked me to email him the links to 5 different rings, just “for fun.” Ha ha we both knew it was because he was going to pick from the five and proposal, but I thought it was more romantic than if we went shopping at the store together, because then why not just wear the ring immediately?

One drawback to this is that if you have a secret favorite pick out of your choices, you might not get the exact ring you want. 4 of my picks were solitaires, and 1 was a vintage embroidered halo. He kept hinting that he bought me the “one that stood out the most,” so for about 2 months I imagined my halo and got more and more excited. When I saw the solitaire, I was very surprised. At first I kept thinking about the halo, but after about 2 weeks, I began to love how versatilre and stunning my ring is. I have no regrets letting him pick from different options for a ring. It feels like he picked it out and I still got my 2 (or 5) cents 🙂

Every couple is different. Some may want to go in personally and select it together, and this is a sweet and romantic time for them. I think either way is romantic and acceptable.

Post # 42
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I helped Fiance ring shop but the final ring was a surprise. Ring shopping was so fun – I would have been sad if I missed out on that part of the process! Our proposal was still very romantic. In my opinion, what is unromantic is receiving a ring you don’t love!

Post # 43
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We went pretend shopping one day… sort of kind of as a joke but it was kinda serious.  I’m not a picky person so I didn’t give him a lot of specifics.  But I told him I like yellow gold and showed him 3 shapes I liked.  The rest was up to him.  So it was a surprise because it was ultimately his decision. 

Post # 44
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Nope- not at all. There are MANY things I could say on the subject, as it’s sort of a hot-button issue for me, but I’ll keep them to myself. I went shopping with my fiance, we picked out the ring together, and the proposal was still beautiful, romantic, and a complete surprise.

Post # 45
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

Me and my Fiance went and picked out the setting and hes the one who bought the diamond to put in it. So it was half half still a surprise to me because i new what the setting was going to look like but i didn’t know anything about the diamond except for the shape. So i was still really surprised to see the diamond he picked and it was AWESOME!!!! I had a friend who always had to tell me how it was wrong to pick out your ring and how its the mans job.. well i’m pretty sure she was saying that because she didn’t get to pick out her own ring… Kinda pissed me off everytime she would say something about it because its no ones business to start with.

Post # 46
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I wish there was a poll!!!

Me in my own personal opinion thinks it is the most unromantic thing EVER..not hating on all of you who did it I just would have hated to do that!

I think sending him links of rings you like or maybe browsing and pointing out your faves at the store is super ok but NOT if he already told you he is going to propose and then you need to pick out your ring and then he tells you the proposal will be a “surprise”…thats why there are so many obsessed waiting bees out there…..please don’t hate me I just had to share my opinion 🙂

Also I am not saying its wrong just way less romantic!

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