(Closed) Is it love, infatuation,r lust? And did your love start out as infatuation/lust?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Did your relationship start off as....
    Lust : (24 votes)
    22 %
    Infatuation : (25 votes)
    23 %
    Love : (17 votes)
    16 %
    Like : (41 votes)
    38 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Thanks for the post! Looking back to my relationship with my ex it was definitely lust! When it fizzled out nothing was left. I remembering not even wanting to go to separate stores in the mall without each other. Not healthy.

    Fiance and I started as friends and it took a while for the love to grow. I love that we started this way because I know what we have is real. 🙂 we definitely love being together but are fine having out own lives outside of the relationship as well.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Double post

    Post # 5
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Lust and infatuation on both ends.

    Probably because we had met and talked to each other through the internet for a few months. He was probably the most infatuated.

    Post # 6
    Member
    8461 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Um, I voted for “Like” because we started off being friends first.  We met playing World of Warcraft online, so we were friends for a bit before he even found out I was a girl lol.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1685 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Definitely infactuation here.  After a year, it transformed into love.  After 4 years, I realized he was the best friend I’ve ever had.  And now 8 years later, I still get butterflies from him.

    He saved my life when I was 18 (long story), and I was head of heels for him from that moment on.

    Post # 8
    Member
    480 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    It was a mix of like, infatuation and lust for me and my Fiance. We were friends before we started dating, so we liked each other, and I had a bit of a crush on him, so I was a bit infatuated. Then, it turned to lust when we first kissed and when we started dating, and then to infatuation and then to love Smile

    I’ve never believed in “love at first sight”. You can only love someone when you know them Tongue Out 

    Post # 9
    Member
    342 posts
    Helper bee

    Lust for sure. Nothing else. Met at a wedding, ended up having sex that night. I went home 6 hrs away, and didn’t think I’d hear from him. But, I did…everyday since then. Being long distance, we only see each other 1-2/mo, so the lust was short-lived. We got to know each other on the phone and texting during the day…that developed into love. 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    2961 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Definitely lust!

    Post # 12
    Member
    471 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think there is always somewhat of an infatuation period to a new relationship. For me that turned into love as my respect for him grew and I saw how he treated me and my children on an ongoing basis. I know consider him my best friend and he brings out the very best in me and I think he feels the same.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I met my Fiance online and the first conversation we had was an argument. He is in the military but forgot that I was not one of his soldiers. Once he gave me his attitude and I gave it right back then he calmed down and apologized. We chatted everyday because he wasnt on duty at the time and we got to know each other and after two weeks he told me that he loved me.

    There was definitely no infatuation, no lust, it was definitely love for both of us. I didnt come clean and tell him how I felt because I was scared, nervous, and shocked because the feelings I had for him I never felt before (they were so intense it scared me). I waited a month to tell him because I couldnt hold them in anymore. It will be a year this coming Feb.

    The rest is history.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1152 posts
    Bumble bee

    I read an article by a Jewish rabbi once. (I point out his affiliation because his argument had religious references.) He said that infatuation is being obsessed with someone’s body, physical connection, affection, etc. – but also their personality, habits, etc. His argument was that these are all things that change, and while they are not bad, they are not permanent. Love, on the other hand, is seeing the good in that person. Loving the goodness in them, the kind things they do for others, their dedication to God, etc. These are the more solid parts of a person’s identity and while their body and personality will both change bit by bit over time, the goodness in them is the foundation of real love.

    I’ve always liked that. 🙂

    As far as my relationship with Fiance goes, we were “just best friends” for several months (9ish?) before we went on a date. We were both very certain that we were in love, and told each other just before he kissed me for the first time. We knew each other really, really well before physical affection came into play, which we both have really appreciated.

    Post # 15
    Member
    246 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    LMAO this question…. My fiance was straight up a rebound. We had sex after the second time seeing each other, and I figured that’d be it. Twelfth day I knew him, he told me he loved me, and I still think he meant it then. It completely changed my mind about him that he’d be dumb/honest enough to open up like that. It took me three months to say it back after getting out of a very abusive relationship… I didn’t even let him call me his girlfriend for 6 weeks. Now, two years later, we’re engaged and getting married in 7 months. I love him more than my own life. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    426 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @savychic1616:  Research indicates that the infatuation stage of love is like a high, in fact the brain activity patterns are very similar to those of people on cocaine.  It’s very obsessive and you have difficulty not thinking about the person.

    After you’ve been together long enough (six months to a year and a half), the love becomes more comfortable and intimate.

    Sternberg’s triarchic theory of love encapsulates all of this; according to him love has three components: passion, intimacy, and commitment.  You can read more about it at http://positivepsych.webs.com/apps/blog/show/3652147-relationships-the-triarchic-theory-of-love

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