Post # 1
BUT I FEEL LIKE SOME PEOPLE WILL NEVER BE ACCEPTING OF MY MARRIAGE..I JUST HAVE A BOTHERSOME FEELING TODAY I REALLY DON’T KNOW I HAVE FELT THIS WAY FOR A WHILE ABOUT SOMEONE WHO IS SUPPOSE TO BE MY BEST FRIEND..I SAY SUPPOSE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE EVER SINCE I GOT MARRIED BEFORE HER AND HAD KIDS. OUR FRIENDSHIP HAS DEFINITELY CHANGED..WE ARE NOT AS CLOSE AS WE USED TO BE. WE NOW LIVE TWO HOURS AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. WHEN I LIVED BACK HOME WE USED TO HANG OUT AND TALK ALL THE TIME. BUT NOW A DAYS I AM LUCKY IF I GET A TEXT BACK. ANYWAY THE REASON I WROTE THIS POST IS BECAUSE I WANTED TO KNOW HAS ANYBODY ELSE EVER FELT THIS WAY ABOUT A CLOSE FRIEND. DID THE DYNAMICS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS CHANGE AFTER YOU GOT MARRIED OR DID THEY JUST CEASE TO EXIST. I HAVE TRIED SEVERAL TIMES TO INVITE HER TO MY VOW RENEWAL AND EVEN ASKED HER TO BE APART OF IT.. AT ONE POINT SHE AGREED BUT NOW EVERYTIME I TRY TO CONTACT HER I GET NO RESPONSE WHAT SO EVER.. AND SHE HAS MY NUMBER AND I HAVE HERS..SHE WON’T EVEN RESPOND BACK TO MY FACEBOOK EMAILS AND SHE IS LIKE ON EVERYDAY.. SHOULD I JUST LIKE GIVE UP ON THIS FRIENDSHIP AND CUT MY LOSS OR SHOULD I KEEP TRYING TO MAKE A EFFORT TO BE FRIENDS.
Post # 3
Sorry you are feeling disconnected and unaccepted. You have courage and perseverance to stand by your man and your relationship and know what is right for you. Good for you!
When I first met my Fiance and started dating him, I got a lot of “what is she doing with him” reaction. My Fiance and I are different in a few ways that make it difficult for people to see or understand how similar and close and right for each other we are: we are different ethnicities, different political parties, different academic houses (he is a math prof, I am an English prof). It was difficult at first, but I knew in my gut I was choosing a good man for me and that he was really into me and choosing me, too, so I carried on with confidence. I lost a few friends over it, but as cliche as it sounds, it’s true: those weren’t real friends. My real friends have come around to see beyond surface and social judgments and into who we really are and how much we love each other and they celebrate that with us.
I am not sure if my story helps, and I cannot tell you whether or not to keep or cut this friendship, but I can say: Be strong. Be brave. Be true to yourself.
Post # 4
I kind of feel ya here. I think once you enter a different stage in your life, it’s harder to remain friends with people who aren’t in that same stage. I have two really close friends, and we’re all in different stages even though we’re the same age. I’m a newly wed, one friend is raising a two year old, and another friend is off at college. We all have different life goals now, and different priorities and responsibilities. Sometimes friend one can’t hang out because she’s caring for her child; friend two is only home on weekends, and I’m busy with setting up a home and taking care of my husband. We all have limited schedules and although I’m sad at times, it may be for the best. I think in a few years (5-10) when we’re all in roughly the same stage (married/children/home) it’ll be much easier, and we’re all trying to keep the friendship alive til then. That may be all you can do :/
Post # 5
My friendship with my Maid/Matron of Honor is changing already and I’m not even married yet! It may have something to do with the fact that we used to share a dom room and now we live an hour away from eachother but TBH, I hate it. I miss her! I know it soudns stupid but I feel like she has replaced me with another girl who still lives on campus with her. Pathetic but true. I want my Boyfriend or Best Friend back!
Post # 6
I recently had a “friend” flip out at me. Very jealous of my engagement (as though it was a walk in the park for me to find the man of my dreams. Sheesh!) and very mean. She is no longer my friend. However, I am going through a similar situation as you with another friend of nearly 20 years. We grew apart and she was holding me to the same expectations she had of me before. I have a whole new set of responsibilities now and while I’ll do my best to contact her and maintain the friendship, it won’t be as often as it used to be because now my family comes first. If she can accept that, our friendship can continue. If she can’t, I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta live my life just as I would expect her to live hers.
So, I think you need to dig deep and ask yourself first if this is a friendship worth saving. If so, you need to call her (no email, no texting…call her) and check in with her on your friendship first and foremost. Don’t even bring up the Vow Renewal yet, just see if she can respond to you about the friendship. If she can and you can both work it out, wonderful. If not, them maybe it is best for you to move on. Good luck!
Post # 7
@Cornflakegirl: I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM. I HAVE TRIED TO CALL HER JUST TO HAVE GIRL TALK AND CATCH UP BUT LIKE I SAID I DON’T EVER GET A RESPONSE BACK..ONCE OR TWICE I GET IT. BUT I MEAN REALLY. I GUESS I JUST ANSWERED MY OWN QUESTION. SMH ITS JUST HARD THAT THINGS CHANGE WHEN YOU GET MARRIED AND HAVE A FAMILY TO TAKE CARE OF.
@MS.HEDGEHOG: I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL..IT SUCKS BEING AWAY FROM THE ONES YOU CARE ABOUT SO MUCH.
@SNOWPEONY: ALL MY FRIENDS WHERE I LIVE NOW ARE MARRIED WITH KIDS OR HAVE KIDS THAT ARE THE SAME AGES AS MY SONS. SO WE ALL HANG OUT BUT I JUST WISH THAT MY OLD FRIENDSHIPS DIDN’T HAVE TO CHANGE.