Post # 1
So Fiance and I have decided to get our parents very small tokens of appreciation for their support through our wedding process. For our mothers, I’ve chosen little infinity bracelets from Etsy but Fiance and I can’t decide if we should be getting his step-mother one, too. We think the world of her but she didn’t raise him and has only been with his Dad since Fiance was a teenager. We think of these gifts as tokens to the people who raised us, and will be gifting them privately so she shouldn’t feel publicly left out, if she even ever finds out about it (which is unlikely as FI’s mom doesn’t like her and my mother doesn’t know her).
For the record, we are getting her a mother-corsage to match the MOB and MOG, so everyone knows she is family.
So is it necessary that we gift her? Would you?
Post # 3
I would. Just because she didn’t raise him from childhood doesn’t mean she’s not important. If his biological mother is still in the picture, I’d still give step-mom something unless they are not close/bad blood/etc.
Post # 4
While I’m all in favour of “no gift is necessary or it wouldn’t be a gift,” you’re giving the gift to thank them for support during wedding planning – if the step-mother has been a support during the wedding planning, then give her a gift. Her raising your fiance has nothing to do with whether or not she supports him/you now.
Also, assuming the bracelets aren’t too expensive, where’s the harm in getting her one? It’s a nice gesture and it doesn’t hurt you two in any way.
Post # 5
i would give a gift. we did and step mom in law wasnt technically step mom til 7 months after our wedding.. i am assuming step mom has been in fiances life for 5-10 years?? she is family..
Post # 6
I’d give her a gift as well- I wasn’t the nicest person to my step mom growing up and I know I put her through hell a few times so I’d consider it a way to wipe the slate clean and say you appreciate them taking it all in stride…. Plus, just think about how horrible she would feel if she found out the other ladies & gents got a gift but she didn’t? I know you said you were gifting in private but you never know, someone might be showing the gift off at an event, she overhears… Just best to go ahead & include her….