(Closed) Is it normal for a guy to not think much about wedding stuff?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Nepal

This is totally normal. I wouldn’t ask him what he thinks about having 50 guests. When it comes time to put the guest list together, just ask him to make a list of who he wants to invite. Make yours, then put them together. If combined you have 75 but you want to keep it around 50, go through them together and discuss if and where you can make cuts. If my Fiance and I were planning a traditional wedding, I’m sure he would only really be concerned with the financial aspect. I can bet anything else he wouldn’t really care about. Look on the bright side, one less hand in the cookie jar!

Post # 17
Member
1262 posts
Bumble bee

I think that’s reasonably normal.

I prompted Fiance for his guest list, and I’ve done the whole booking venue visits/finding open days etc. But he’s more than happy to go with me and he’s actually more opinionated (in a good way!) than I thought he’d be. He is extremely laid back and very easy going so he doesn’t usually care either way. We’ve discussed our approach to planning a wedding and he likes for me to present some options to him, so he can help narrow it down/focus the search, rather than starting from a blank canvas.

Post # 18
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Sometimes it’s normal because sometimes the woman thinks of nothing but the wedding and the man appeases her and finally proposes. Sometimes you have two equal partners who want to plan a celebration of their love. I really hate the idea that planning a wedding is woman’s work and that a man doesn’t give a damn. My husband cared a great deal about our wedding. I find the notion but insulting to myself and to him. They will gives damn if they want to or sometimes if you actually let them.

However, it doesn’t appear that you’re engaged yet and therefore it’s easy for him to not give a damn about a 50 person wedding because it isn’t being planned yet. That’s not necessarily a trait related to men, more that people will plan when they have an actual reason to plan. Some people like to plan what they’ll plan. This difference is really not worth getting upset or pissed off about though. Because when you’re actually engaged your plans will be influenced by what is happening in your life at that moment, budget and family influences.

If you are engaged and actively planning then ask for his input. He might not want to talk about it every night but if you don’t start the ball rolling it will only get worse. He will care about something so get him involved in that area and go from there.

Post # 19
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

My SO knows his jobs are: “Buy Ring” and “Show Up Sober”, otherwise he just plans on saying “yes dear” a lot. We talk about our vision for the day, but honestly I don’t think he really cares or thinks about it at all unless we roll into discussing it, and then we mostly just bat ideas around

so yeah, totally normal…

Post # 20
Member
1709 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Garden

lizabeth6786 :  when I was planning my wedding my Fiance just told me to do whatever I wanted not much of a help from him at all haha. I picked the colors and the places. He just provided. I can understand since he works. He wants to make sure we’re both taken cared of for this big step in our lives 🙂 it’s a guy thing. 

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