Post # 1
First of all, I want to stress that this seems very sudden and out of character for my SO and I to be arguing, having attitude and stressed out. Our wedding is literally 2 months away from today, and lately we’ve both been so snappy with each other that this morning, it actually came to a head and we had a screaming, yelling, pointing, arm waving match with each other, over something that I was upset about and confronted him with. Admittedly, my approach was way off, his reaction was just as far off, and immediately we were fired up and ready to prove our points. I left the house for work in tears, feeling like marriage was the last thing I want at the moment.
The coolest thing about our relationship has always been our amazing communication; at times we honestly joke that we have ESP because we can relate so well to one another. We’ve argued over petty things, but have always been able to make up very quickly and get over anything and everything thus far in our relationship, despite any hurdles we’ve crossed and changes that have occured. It just seems that lately, everything he does has been irritating!! Planning the wedding from three states away, the demands of his job, living so far away from friends and family, etc etc I know have all had a huge impact in the stress of our lives and how we seem to be reacting to one another, but we’ve just never had a fight like this where I feel like both of us are starting to question if we should continue down this path…
Is this normal, and have any of you bees experienced something similar as the wedding gets closer??
Post # 3
you’re not alone. Fiance and I had a “spirited” discussion about gathering addresses for invites over the weekend.
We don’t normally have “spirited” conversations LOL we are both just stressed out.
Post # 4
I think it’s very normal, but now that you recognize the problem you should work on it. My fiance and I went through marriage counseling a week back and we have been in much better spirit and much more relaxed about the wedding and details. I only wish that we had done it earlier. We are more in tune with one another and are picking up wherever the other slacks off. It is so refreshing. Maybe seeking out some counsel is the way for you two to get back to what attracted you in the first place and to relieve some of the wedding planning stress.
Post # 5
@JennyPPB: Our wedding is closer than yours and we’ve had zero fights or arguments about anything wedding-related. That said, however, your situation sounds a lot more stressful than what we’re dealing with.
I would chalk it up to stress since your relationship is normally a healthy and positive one with good communication.
How about giving each other a break very soon and planning a romantic non-wedding-related evening together? Go on a date and make an agreement to NOT discuss the wedding. Talk only about current events, fun stuff, and things you have in common that you usually enjoy discussing. Or share a fun activity together that you used to do more frequently.
Let him know how much you love him, and how excited you are about the wedding, but that you want him all to yourself a little while, with no distractions. Put the wedding on the back burner for just one night. You deserve a break!
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
Life goes back to normal after the wedding, don’t worry. The stress is overwhelming, but it will go away.
For Darling Husband and I, we agree with each other so much and understand each other so well that during the few instances that we don’t see eye to eye, we argue because we just don’t understand how the other person could feel differently. Well, duh! We are in fact two different people, but sometimes even we forget that.
Cut both of you some slack. Focus on the bigger picture, and don’t doubt your love. You’ll make it through wedding planning!
Post # 7
@Sunfire: Those sound like such good ideas! It really is that simple too. We need to calmly talk about the issues at hand, take a break from the wedding talk and just focus on ourselves for a night or even the entire next weekend.
Thank you ladies for making me feel better! Its good to know that this sort of thing does happen to other couples…
His job is seriously taking a toll on both of us too. He works Monday-Friday away from home, usually in another state and is so stressed out all the time. I try my best to be supportive, listening to what is going on and trying to be there for him but his stress really rubs off on me and affects me as well. To top it off, with his schedule I honestly have done 95% of the wedding planning myself, which is starting to make me bitter. I’m just starting to feel like I want it all to be here and be done w/ all of it.
Post # 8
It’s normal. I agree with the idea of having a romantic no wedding talk kind of night.
Post # 9
Yuuuuup. We fought SO much over the past year…mostly because both of our sets of parents have been so terrible and each wanting their own way. We aren’t fighting anymore now, thankfully, but it really sucked for a while. It’s a stressful time and parents sometimes make it worse…
One thing that helped us was we would have a set time to talk about specific things for the wedding, say 5-7 on Wednesday. Once it hit 7pm, we would wrap it up and save the rest of it for another day. It helped us focus and it really helped us to end discussions if they were getting heated.
Post # 10
We fought a lot in the weeks before the wedding, which was so weird since we are both really passive and communicate with each other really well. I was really worried the week before the wedding because we kept fighting over stupid stuff and I kept crying and was really emotional. Turns out, it was just wedding stress. We are so incredibly happy now and get along wonderfully!
Post # 11
Tooootally normal. We also prided ourselves on our communication and ESP. Buuuut with the wedding approaching, we haven’t finished each other’s sentences in a long ass time and are frequently snippy about stupid stuff. Yet one more obnoxious thing about wedding planning – stress makes you both into people you aren’t normally.
Post # 12
i always hear people say that they got into a big argument with their fiance(e) right before the wedding. i’m sure it’s totally normal with all the stress and emotions running so high. it hasn’t happened yet with my fiance and i. we’ve done our usual bickering, but no real big fights yet.
Post # 13
YUP. Literally the day after we were purring like kittens. We even argued today and it was over in 2 minutes. Nothing fuels tension like a wedding!