(Closed) Is it normal to be invited to a shower but not the wedding?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

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@missbumblebee:  Did you end up contacting her, or did it come on its own? Glad you got the invite! 

Post # 33
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I am getting married in January. I sent invites early because I was worried about things getting lost in the mail especially around the holidays. 10 days after my rsvp date I started contacting people I had not heard from. 2 couples never got my invite. They received save the dates so I know I had the correct address. So it is possible it got lost. If it didn’t get lost then that it rude.

Eta missed your last post. Glad you got the invite

Post # 35
8467 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@SimpleGifts:  That makes two of us! 


I can see vice- versa, but that’s flat out rude. 


Post # 36
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It has happened to me and I was pretty offended. The shower was thrown by a friend of mine who likely didn’t know I wasn’t invited to the wedding. It might seem petty but it still irks me until this day – I felt like all they wanted from me was a gift. I understand how in some circumstances it might be appropriate but I would say 99% of the time it’s in poor taste. 

Post # 37
7767 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

That is the rudest thing!  Showers are only for those invited to the wedding, IMO.

Post # 39
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Glad you got an invite! Your post reminded me of going to a clam boil dinner this past summer. One of the couples there saw out wedding invite on the hosts’ fridge. The husband asked my DH why they didn’t get the invite, if we were upset with them for some reason! I was so embarassed, but their invitation had completely gotten lost in the mail! They had received their STD allright, so we knew it was the correct address. Anywhoo, my DH called them a few days later and the RSVP’d via text.

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