(Closed) Is it normal to be invited to the bridal shower but not the wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
10045 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

If her wedding isn’t until labor day she may not have even sent out the invites yet…

I definitely had my shower before wedding invites were sent.

Post # 17
Member
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida

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GLAMBYLEO:  If you are not a wedding guest you should not be invited to the shower. That is just rude and gift grabby

Post # 18
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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GLAMBYLEO:  Nope, that is rude to invite to a shower and not a wedding.

Post # 19
Member
6515 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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GLAMBYLEO:  no its really poor etiquette to invite people to a y prewedding parties and not the actual wedding. Its very gift grabby. 

If i were you, i would not go and you do nkt have to send a gift either.

Post # 20
Member
1206 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

It’s very rude and gift grabby to invite people to pre-wedding parties and not the wedding.

But it’s very possible that the wedding invites haven’t gone out yet.  My wedding is Sept. 12th and I’m not sending them out until 8 weeks before…mid-July.  Invites are supposed to be sent 6-8 weeks before the wedding so it’s likely that they haven’t gone out yet.  

Post # 21
Member
4885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I did have some friends who never got their invitation, and I didn’t find this out until a few weeks before the wedding when I was trakcing people down. BUT, both of them were invited to my shower and one was able to come. After I found out about this, she did say that she didn’t want to ask just in case… but I told her, you were invited to my shower so you definitely were invited to the wedding.

Post # 23
Member
14179 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Glad to hear you jumped to the wrong conclusion!

Save the Dates are not mandatory.  In fact, traditional etiquette doesn’t even really approve of  them because it’s considered a little presumptuous to expect people to put their lives on hold that far ahead.

Invitations are generally sent six to eight weeks ahead these days. Traditionally, it was even later than this. 

Post # 24
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

[content moderated for snark]

Post # 25
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I’d say it’s rude, but when is the wedding? could be you just havent received the invite yet.

Though it depends, I know that I attend showers for neighbours/coworkers/extended family when I’m not invited to the wedding. It’s more of a “congratulations” style lunchin though where you get joint gifts or just give something small (like, 25$). It’s more about wanting to celebrate the people who you see every day.

Often these are a SECONDARY event though, not the main shower, and done within the neighbour/coworker/extended family environment. If you’re being invited to the only shower and not the wedding, I think that’s a bit weird.

Post # 26
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

just saw your update. makes sense then!

Post # 27
Member
6104 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

[content moderated for personal attack]

Post # 28
Member
14179 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
IzzyBear: Wow. My comment wasn’t bitchy or sarcastic in the least.  When I said I was glad to hear that OP had jumped to the wrong conclusion, that was genuine.  I wanted her to have that background  information so that she wouldn’t feel as if her friend had done anything wrong. 

Personally, I don’t care whether people send out STDs or not. 

 

Post # 29
Bee
11803 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

Getting lots of flags on this thread, and since the issue seems to be resolved, I’m going to go ahead and close it.

The topic ‘Is it normal to be invited to the bridal shower but not the wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

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