- 4 years ago
Waiting is taking its toll on me, day to day I have a rollercoster of emotions. And more often than not lately I find myself doubting our relationship. The feelings are totally unfounded, we have a great relationship, I just hate what waiting has done to me. I can never take back the person it’s turned me into, I will always be the semi desperate girl, that everyone knows wants to get married with the boyfriend who always gives me lukewarm answers at best. I can see if we eventually got married people would joke at our wedding about how long I waited, how irrational and stupid I was while waiting, make light of it, when it’s something I really struggle with.
Words are cheap and its easy isn’t it to say “don’t worry, its coming” but he’s been saying that for years now, and I’m still waiting.
He’s also said to me, if I just proposed to him I could put myself out of my own misery! Which makes me totally crazy!
We’ve been together nearly 6 years, lived together for 5, he’s 30, I’m 28.
I just cant help these feelings of doubt, and dwell in sadness all too often, I just wish I had a man who couldnt wait to marry me and often think maybe it would just be easier to leave and be single or maybe find someone who really does want the same things as me.
Time also feels as if its slowed down (does anyone else have that??), but maybe that means I’m on the home stretch and its right around the corner?