(Closed) Is it normal to feel like you’re loosing yourself during wedding time?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Sandhia: I definitely am surprised as to how this has taken over the conversations that I have with people.  I make a p oint to not mention the wedding plans unless someone specifically asks details.  Even if they do, I try and limit it to 2-3 minutes.  No one wants to hear about it, they’re probably just being polite.

As much as I love this site and the support that it offers, I think that it makes the overwhelming feeling that much worse…you see all of these amazing things that people are doing and you feel like I need to do somehting equally awesome.  That’s how I feel at least.

I do think that simpler is better and I keep arguing with my Fiance that if I am going to act as the Project Manager for this event, I should get comparable pay to one.  It’s ridiculous.  Seriously.

I am also considering calling things off and just doing something simple – but I feel like I’ve gone down the rabbit hole and there is no easy way out.  So, if you really are not liking the direction of things – you might want to consider if it’s possible to do something much smaller and sooner.  The longer you have to look at blogs and such – the more complicated it will get.

Good Luck!

Post # 4
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it’s really important to make yourself take a break from planning from time to time. Spend some time with your fiance and do not talk about anything wedding-related.

Doing that helped me really focus on what’s most important.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, make a list, determine your priorities and focus on one thing at a time. Just do a little bit at a time, don’t feel like you have to take on the “whole” wedding at once.

Make an effort to eat well, get lots of rest and take care of yourself. Mental and physical health are important!

Post # 5
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I felt this way too and we actually considered marrying in Vegas, by ourselves… sometimes I wish we had.  I think I spent too much time thinking about it and planning it… are you giving yourself breaks, and doing non-wedding stuff?  I think that would help to keep you level-headed.  I was constantly online looking at different ideas and I was overwhelmed right up to the day.  

I am so sorry about things with your dad.  Does your fiance know how upset you are about that?

Post # 6
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Some bees love wedding planning, others don’t.  I was on team “Honey, can we elope?”.  I felt overwhelmed and stressed ALL THE TIME.  So, yes, you are not alone and this is totally normal.  Especially since you just had a very stressful year anyway. Sometimes, you just need a break.

It helped me to not think and talk about wedding planning at all every once in a while.  Of course, when I got back into it, I felt even more stressed because I should have done x,y, and z in the meantime.  But taking a break from wedding planning felt really good.

Post # 7
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m so glad you posted this, because I’m going through this right now! I had a meltdown the other day that still comes and goes…. I’m really happy to hear I’m not alone =)

Post # 8
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@lmoss78: I can totally relate to all of this. I thought I was going to be one of those calm and relaxed brides-to-be….that is not the case at all. I do think that the wedding sites and blogs are making me discouraged. I see all of these great weddings that I will never be able to afford. My friends / family don’t live here in the area to share this time with me. I am sad all the time and that is totally out of character for me. I never would have thought that this event would bring out so many different emotions….good and bad.

I feel overwhelmed, anxious and at any moment the other shoe is going to drop. I feel alone in this whole process and it sucks. I thought that this was going to be such a great time in my life and it is turning out to be like I’ve slipped into the 7th circle of Hell. Okay, maybe not quite that bad but I just can’t wait for October 30th to be here after it’s over with. Isn’t that sad….all of this money we are spending on our wedding and I can’t wait for this day to come and go. I don’t know what it wrong with me. Why can’t I just be happy that I am marrying such a wonderful man who means the world to me?  

 

Post # 13
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Sandhia: I can understand where you are coming from and one good thing for me is that I am more than 6 months out from my wedding so that keeps me in a balance and I dont feel like I am in wedding overload. I got alot of things done so far but I balance it out with work, family time, cheer mom and hanging with friends. Wedding Bee has helped alot with balancing me out because my friends dont necessarly understand all things wedding. I do my best not to let my wedding dominate the conversations I have with people and im always mindful of not letting it take out

Hope this helps some

 

Post # 14
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Wedding planning sucks. It’s one of those little things they don’t tell you before you sign on the dotted line.

It’s not until you’re deep in the debate of chair covers vs. no chair covers and trying to figure out what colour scheme best defines you as a couple, and desperately seeking a vendor that returns your phone calls and will actually give you pricing information without trying to lure into a contract first, that you go back and look at the fine print, which says, “Welcome to Wedding Hell. If you never thought that choosing a font for invitations could reduce you to tears, we bet we can prove you wrong.”

Remember to breathe. Remember that it’s okay to walk away sometimes and designate yourself a wedding-free zone. Remember that all your guests will likely remember about the day is that the sun was shining, you wore some sort of pretty dress, and Aunt Myrtle got so drunk that she started trying to hit on a potted plant.

Learn to start any wedding-related sentence with. “Will my day be incomplete without [item/vendor/article of clothing/person]?” If the answer is no, leave it in the “maybe” pile and move on to greener pastures. You can always go back and reconsider it if you’re feeling masochistic later.

When your wedding day finally arrives, it will be the supreme antidote to everything you’re going through now. Hang in there, and good luck!

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