Is it normal to have a TON of guests without cards/gifts?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

helgacakes :  I have to wonder why you would post this on a forum if you weren’t mad about it. 

Post # 3
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Im in my circle and perhaps even area (Toronto, Canada) it is considered very rude to not bring anything and yes people do talk about it.

 

Not talking about people who have travelled far for wedding but other guests

Post # 5
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Were there any ones that were like conspicuously missing? Any situations like “Uncle Bob and Aunt Bobbie always give $250 to new couples, so it’s weird they didn’t leave a card at all?” That could indicate some went missing. Also check your registry that nothing is on backorder. Perhaps they sent it directly to you, and it’s just in transit. That might explain a few. 

If not, weddings are expensive to attend as well as host. There’s a huge groundswell of “presence is present” (particularly among millennials) and that’s helped a lot of people be comfortable showing up empty handed. 

Post # 6
Member
2805 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Very rude here not give a gift (even if it’s small). Heck Darling Husband still occasionally mentions the ONE couple we didn’t get so much as a card from (He was in their wedding and gave a VERY generous cash gift ). 

30 missing cards/gifts is a lot. I’d suspect theft, unless you are certain people didn’t gift.

Post # 7
Member
3721 posts
Sugar bee

helgacakes :  That would not be normal. You did the right thing not printing your registry on the invites (that’s SUPER tacky), and I would not think that’s the reason for the lack of gifts. I understand non-married people making a flub, but unless there was a financial hardship, having half your guests come empty handed is weird. I do believe they have a year to send something though??

Post # 8
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

No, I don’t think that’s the norm.

I’m sure it varies greatly based on cultural background and socioeconomic status, but in my admittedly very limited experience, that is not what typically happens in North America.

Post # 10
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

That is very rude and strange. I’ve always heard guest should at least cover their plate. Plus, it’s a wedding! 

Post # 11
Member
6752 posts
Busy Beekeeper

helgacakes :  Were you just married this past weekend? Many of people mail or ship gifts for weeks if not months following a wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

helgacakes :  I know that gifts are not obligatory, but in my circles everyone brings a gift and it would be highly unusual that that many people didn’t bring one. Even when I was in my younger twenties and friends got married, we all brought generous gifts. Is it possible some cards went missing/were stolen?

Post # 13
Member
2805 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

helgacakes :  I don’t think it is an age thing, or intentional non-gifting. That is too many people to not gift. While a card or two may still come in, 30 is unlikely. I suspect theft.

Post # 14
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

That’s a lot eek. What do you do if that many were stolen? How do you handle Thank you cards then? 

Post # 15
Member
9718 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I think it’s very out of the ordinary. I would never go to a wedding without at least a card. We had a couple of people who didn’t bring a gift (but they did travel a long way and I truly don’t care at all as I was just excited to have them there) but 30 seems like a lot. We did have some gifts come up to a month or so after the wedding though.

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