(Closed) Is it odd if the two families don’t meet?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Do You Think It's Important Families Meet.
    Very Important : (54 votes)
    44 %
    Not Really Given it Much Thought : (39 votes)
    32 %
    Have Never Seen The Point. We Want To Be Together So Why Should The Families Meet : (30 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    My mom first met DH’s mom at the bridal shower, and then all the parents met at the rehearsal dinner. There were some circumstances that meant they couldn’t all go out to dinner for awhile, and they didn’t know how else to meet, lol.

    I was happy when they finally did meet because I had known they would get along and it was just nice to see. But it’s totally not mandatory or necessary, especially if they’re across the country or something.

    Another good thing, though, is that people can put a face with a name when you’re telling a story or something. But there isn’t a huge overwhelming reason for them to meet imho.

    Post # 3
    Member
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    My first wedding the parents met at the wedding. My second wedding the parents met at the Saturday Morning brunch before the eveing ceremony.   We were just happy to have them all there.

    Why would parents have to meet/like /bond.  Its not about them, its about you two.

    Post # 5
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Curiousity.

    Just kidding, kind of. I would want to meet the parents of the person my child was marrying ahead of time. I understand that it could be hard for everyone to meet if they live far away. Personally I would make the effort, but sometimes it’s not feasible. If it doesn’t happen ahead of time, there’s no big problem.

    Our families have met a few times, but they don’t live very far away. FI’s parents and family have invited them to a few holiday parties.

    Post # 6
    Member
    425 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    My FI’s family and mine barely speak really, not becuase of anythng personally- maybe being in diff countries is a reason- but also both my parents speak English with a little diff as well as my FI’s family- So I guess the only time my mom and his mom ever met, was through skype– .. and they cried together.. which is odd… lol..my sisters never met my FI’s younger sis but met the older one once or twice. I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE it this way though. I dont mind my sisters being in touch with my FI’s family, but I love the fact that my parents arent close to my FI’s family. cuz my parents have a tendancy to pick on little things — Especially my mom, she might hate something and all of the sudden get paranoid about it, so it actually makes it easier for me that they dont deal with each other… Phewww

     

    wel they say that families need to meet cuz its not only two people getting married but its two families joining… ( NOT if they dont meet hahaha )

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    4824 posts
    Honey bee

    I think its important for them to meet, given that its a reasonable distance.  A few hour drive and I would still expect a meeting of some point.

    1) I consider it polite.

    2) In all likelihood the two families will be seeing each other in the future over holidays, births, deaths celebrations etc. Just like you and your in-laws, why not extend some effort to start that relationship out on the right foot.

    3) The relationship between parents in a large part affects the married couple. If the parents dont get along, or there is hostility over splitting holidays etc, the married couple has to handle the fall out. 

    4) It will make the wedding planning process easier for many. Parents will be more understanding of the others’ side simply because they know the person. An acquantance with a face and personality is a lot easier to understand than some unknown entity that you only know stories of.

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    6065 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    Wow, this is so different from my family.

    Our families met once our relationship became serious and they get together whenever my parents are in town.

    For me and Fiance, it was very important for our families to meet- We will all be getting together for family occasions, holidays, etc. They will be grandparents of the same grandkids, etc. …So why wouldn’t they meet and get to know one another?

    I guess to a degree I do believe in a marriage the families somewhat unite (to a point of course).

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    5423 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2012

    We treated our parents to dinner this past summer, where they met.  Now they won’t see each other agian until next winter.  I’m sure they’ll forget what they look like by then. We’re kinda fusing cultures too so I don’t really imagine much mingling going n between them in the coming years.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3982 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    My parents never met Mr. Hedgies parents until the week of the wedding. But they live in two different states and neither really feel the need to meet eachother. Sure they are technically family but it doesn’t feel like it to each of them.

    Post # 15
    Member
    558 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015 - Thorpewood

    I’m not engaged but my parents and my boyfriends parents have all met.  My mom and my boyfriend’s mom have gotten dinner together a few times and my parents invited my boyfriend’s parents to my surprise birthday dinner so they all got to hang out again. 

    It’s important to me that my parents and my boyfriend’s parents get along because my boyfriend and I both want to host holidays in the future and have both sets of parents come to our house so we don’t have to choose where to go (everyone lives in the same state).  So I want them to get along.  Besides, when we have kids someday, my boyfriend’s parents are going to be all over things like birthdays and I know my mom will be too (probably not my dad as much) but basically they’ll be around each other a lot.  Thankfully my parents really like my boyfriend’s parents so that makes me really happy.  😀

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