Post # 1
My fiancé and I did not / don’t plan to do a gift registry for our wedding. We decided that a bridal shower is not necessary because we have been living together for years, and bridal showers are supposed to be for a couple not yet living together that need things to begin a home together.
The other thing is that we are leaving the morning after our wedding for our honeymoon. We will not be going back home, and we don’t want to have to burden someone with filling their car with gifts and making sure they get to our home safely. We’ve only had a few people ask where we are registered and we just tell them that we are not, and I explain to them what I just told you, expect for the bridal shower thing. Is it rude to tell people this? We would prefer checks / cash since we are paying for our own wedding, and we can use it towards the honeymoon. Of course we would not tell people this, and we do not expect anything from our guests except their presence. Is it odd that we did not register? We really don’t want / expect gifts unless someone wants to pick something on their own. My aunt suggested we do a money dance, but my fiance and I agreed that it seems greedy to do that.
Post # 3
Well to be honest, I understand your reasoning, but I still would suggest you make a small registry. No matter what, you are going to have people that want to buy you a gift versus giving cash. At least this way, you will receive items the two of you want and could use.
My husband and I lived together for a few years before we got married, and at first I had a really hard time registering because I thought we had everything. Then I started to take a look around our apartment and realized almost everything we had were either hand-me-downs or cheap kitchen items from our college days. I don’t know if it’s the same for you, but I’m sure there are probably some things you guys wouldn’t mind upgrading (kitchen items, towels, etc.). You certainly don’t have to go crazy, but I think it would be nice to give your guests the option.
As far as transporting gifts, I think that whether or not you register, people will still bring gifts to the wedding, so I think this is something you’ll have to plan for either way. Your family and friends will definitely want to help you, so don’t feel guilty for having someone else take your gifts to your house. My parents and brother happily transported all of our gifts for us, and we were so incredibly grateful.
Post # 4
I also agree with Merry02. We live together but there a lot of things we still need and could replace. Maybe just register for a few hey even if you get gift cards that is still pretty good we always need shampoo, toliet paper, and toothpaste!
Post # 5
I agree that you’ll probably get stuff whether or not you register. Some options for getting them home:
-ask a friend who lives near you to transport them home, give them your keys (I did this for a friend, and left them homemade brownies and fresh flowers the day that they got home too, so it might even have added bonuses!)
-ask someone who lives near the wedding to keep them until you have a chance to pick stuff up – this might be a good option for you since you won’t NEED any of the stuff right away
-return it all and re-buy in your home state (I know one couple who did this when their car broke down 2 hours into their honeymoon and they had to get it towed)
Post # 6
I disagree with people it seems. We are also not registering for exactly the reasons you listed. We put a nice note on our website telling folks that there is no need to bring anything to our wedding other than themselves, an appetite, and a smile. And I truly mean it.
Now, people will do what they’re going to do regardless of what you tell them. When they lack a registry, some folks will buy you stuff because that’s what they want to do. Some folks will buy you stuff and wouldn’t have bought off your registry anyway. And some folks will just give you cash either because they want to or because they don’t know what else to do. You’ll want to make arrangements for gifts to be transported just in case.
But not registering is not weird. And I don’t think people should feel like they are required to register just to do it. I promise that it’ll be fine. And you’ll get mostly money anyway, so you’ll achieve your goal without being rude and asking for it.
Post # 7
I can tell you my brother and SIL tried this – no registry – and instead ended up with TONS of junk they don’t want or need because nobody knew what to get them (and didn’t listen to the “no gifts” rule). I’m talking about a 50-piece tea set that is too heavy for them to fly home and can’t be returned. Loads of crap. You need to give people some guidance or you’ll end up worse off.
My recommendation, if you REALLY don’t want any gifts, would be to set up a charity registry with the charity of your choice.. then people can make donations in honor of your wedding/shower/engagement/etc., and feel like they honored your wishes. You can also set up a honeymoon registry if that’s not too close to ‘asking for cash’ (we will probably do this). There are a bunch of posts on here about which honeymoon registries are the best (they all take some as percentage), but better than getting stuff you don’t need. Good luck!
Post # 8
I don’t think it is odd. Most people will just give you a card and cash at the wedding. Anything else you receive, you’ll likely be able to return it.
Post # 9
As a guest at a recent wedding where there was no registry, I can tell you it was VERY frustrating trying to figure out what to get them and I did hear a couple people saying they thought the couple didn’t register so people would just give them cash :S
I would do a small one for your guests…They’ll really want to buy you things to help you start your marriage, but not knowing what kinds of things you’d need or like can make that really hard.